Danno' August 1st Letters

Dear Danno,
What is the best way to a woman's heart?
signed....Heart Broken in Harbour
Dear Heart Broken,
Take the main artery, and make a right at the left ventricle.

Dear Danno,
Our dog "Pepper" ran away, and my six year old
daughter is heart broken. She won't eat or sleep,
and we are worried for her health. Could you please
soothe her fears, and let her know that Pepper is
okay? My wife and I think she will believe that if
YOU say it is so. Thanks Danno.
signed...Concerned Dad in Mystic
Dear Dad,
Sure I would. Listen to your Daddy Sweetheart.
Even though Pepper has probably been squished by an
unsuspecting motorist, he will always be your best
friend! I hope that helps Concerned Dad.

Dear Danno,
How do you practice safe sex?
signed...Teacher in Boise
Dear Teacher,
I make sure my wife doesn't come home and catch
us in the act!

Dear Danno,
My sister "Joanna" has set me up with six blind
dates. Can you believe that not one of them worked
out. Apparently, I was not skinny enough for them.
Why can't men see me for what I am and not how much
I weigh? There is more to me than meets the eye.
Besides...I am not unattractive. I am sending you a
photo so you can see for yourself. After looking at
it, does it turn you off?
Let me know what you think.
signed...Lonely in Louisville
Dear Lonely,
There is definitely more to you than meets the
eye...about seventy pounds.
Why not try your hand at Rugby?

Dear Danno,
Do you prefer Coke or Pepsi?
signed...Curious in Deluth
Dear Curious,
I don't drink Pepsi for fear of being sucked into that little bottle.

Dear Danno,
My girlfriend just left me for another man.
Is there anything more painful than a broken heart?
signed....Crushed in Gatlinburg
Dear Crushed,
I take it you've never been kicked in the groin?!

Dear Danno,
I am going through a terrible time.
For some reasn, everyone seems to be ignoring me.
My phone calls go unanswered, no one answers the door if I go for a visit.
What is going on/ I'm about to have a nervous breakdown.
Why are people ignoring me? Why Danno...why?
signed...Invisible in Illinois

Dear Danno,
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
signed...Student in Samson
Dear Student,
Have you ever been stuck in a traffic jelly?

Dear Danno,
Im tikked off! Four the third yeer in a row Im
in the sixed grade. Sumbody has it in four me.
My qestion is weather I can sue my scool and take them
two cort or sumthing for damiges or no I cant do
this? Watts yur opinyin?
signed...Smart as a wip in Dalas
Dear Wip,
I wood sue the teechers that let you get to the
sixed grade (that's awl five fingers on won hand, and
won finger on the uther hand).

Dear Danno,
What's an oxymoron?
signed...Kid in Kentucky
Dear Kid,
I don't know what an oxy is...idiot!


Dear Danno,
My inconsiderate neighbor was out in their yard
on Tuesday shooting his BB gun, and he accidently
shot my dog in the face. As a result...my dog is now
blind. I am outraged! What would you do in this
instance?
signed....Furious in Fayetville
Dear Furious,
I would get your blind dog a seeing eye person.