Danno's Greetings Dear Readers, You may not know this, but Dear Danno used to be a greeting card writer. For some unexplicable reason, I was fired! Here now I have compiled for your viewing pleasure, some of my finest works. Congratulations on Your Wedding Day! Here's best wishes on your special day There are some things I need to say For I myself have been married too And now I feel rather sorry for you I know you'll have a great sex life I should know, I've slept with your wife But that was before you were engaged Or shortly thereafter the date was arranged Married life can be loads of fun I had good times with wife number one So here's a toast to the bride and groom If you get divorced, I have an extra room Happy Birthday Mother-in-Law My wife made me get you this card...Happy Birthday I guess Congratulations on your Divorce Congratulations on your divorce She was getting fat anyway Be My Valentine I was too shy to tell you That I have a crush on you And though it is hard I'll give you this card I hope you do like me too! I know I'm no gift to women And I got a real big behind But the syphilis is gone I'm now free out on bound And my psychiatrist says I'm doing fine Be My Valentine Happy Birthday Grandma Happy Birthday Grandma-80 is a nice age Glad to see you're still sane At this normally senile stage Sorry Your Dog Died With sympathy I write For the loss of your pet I'm sure it was painless When he and that Michelin met Merry Christmas Merry Christmas to you and yours A time of joy and elation I hope you enjoy our card to you Sent only out of obligation The truth is we don't like you much But you sent us a card last year So here's a damn card, Merry Christmas Don't send no more cards to us here! Thinking of You I was thinking of you... So here's a card Get well Soon Hope you're on your feet real soon I'm praying you'll still be alive by noon I said a prayer-got on my knees How did you know she had venerial disease At least what you have is curable Even though your penis is no longer durable So keep your chin up-hope you get well But if you should die, Hope it's Heaven...not Hell See you next week HOME