Danno's Sexual Healing

Dear Danno,
I’m thinking of buying clothes from Fredericks of Hollywood. Is that a reputable company?
Signed…Buyer in Baton Rouge

DEAR BUYER,
I'M AFRAID I DON'T KNOW THIS FREDERICK FELLOW. I GET MY CLOTHES FROM SAL. HE SELLS THEM CHEAP FROM THE TRUNK OF HIS CAR IN BROOKLYN.


Dear Danno,
Have you ever picked a woman up at a bar?
Signed…Single in San Jose

DEAR SINGLE,
I TRIED IT ONCE, BUT SHE WAS A BIT OVERWEIGHT AND I HURT MY BACK.


Dear Danno,
Are you single?
Signed…Looking in Las Vegas

DEAR LOOKING,
YES, UNLESS I STAND IN FRONT OF A MIRROR…THEN THERE’S TWO OF ME.


Dear Danno,
I’m tired of men. I’m sick and tired of men wanting me for my body instead of my brain. I am a Stanford Graduate. But all those horny men see is my 36D-24-36 body. It’s sickening the way men gawk at me. I want someone to want me for my mind Danno. I know you’re probably not like the rest of the men out there…what do you suggest?
Signed…Lonely in Louisiana

DEAR LONELY,
WOW…36D….ARE THEY REAL?


Dear Danno,
Have you ever had an affair or cheated on your significant other?
Signed…Honest in Huntsville

DEAR HONEST,
I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON MY WIFE OR MY CURRENT MISTRESS. I HAVE INTEGRITY.


Dear Danno,
You sound like a rotten husband! If my calculations are correct, you’ve committed adultry with sixteen different women, then bragged about it in your columns. You should be ashamed of yourself, not only for the actual cheating, but for boasting about it as well!
Signed…Disgusted in Deleware

DEAR DISGUSTED,
I RESENT THE PORTRAIT YOU'RE TRYING TO PAINT OF ME! AND FYI: IT'S TWENTY WOMEN...IT'S BEEN A GOOD MONTH.


Dear Danno,
You’re nuts!
Signed…No Fan in Frisco

DEAR NO FAN,
…WHAT ABOUT THEM?


Dear Danno,
What exactly does a vasectomy entail?
Signed…Wondering in Witchita

DEAR WONDERING,
WELL, LET’S SEE…AN APPENDECTOMY IS THE REMOVAL OF THE APPENDIX. A TONSILECTOMY IS THE REMOVAL OF TONSILS. SO I GUESS A VASECTOMY IS THE REMOVAL OF A VASECT.


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