Danno's Quickie Letters

Dear Danno,
Is it true they're making a new television pilot about subway vigilante Bernard Getz?
signed...TV Fan in Tuttleville

DEAR TV FAN,
YES, IT IS TRUE. THEY ARE CALLING IT "NYPD JEW"


Dear Danno,
Is it true you were a VietNam vet?
signed...Soldier in Sagertown

DEAR SOLDIER,
NO...FOR STARTERS, I AM TOO YOUNG TO HAVE FOUGHT IN VIET NAM. AND SECOND OF ALL, I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT CARING FOR ANIMALS, LET ALONE BEING A VET. WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE NEEDED AN ANIMAL DOCTOR IN VIET NAM ANYWAY?


Dear Danno,
Do you have any advice for an up and coming model?
signed...Future Star in Fosterville

DEAR FUTURE STAR,
I'M SORRY, I ONLY HAVE ADVICE FOR DOWN AND GOING MODELS...


Dear Danno,
Where did Russian Roulette originate? You know...that's the game played where one bullet is put in a gun and the barrel of the gun is spun, and two men take turns pulling the trigger.
signed...Gambler in Georgetown

DEAR GAMBLER,
USE SOME COMMON SENSE PLEASE. LOOK AT THE NAME...RUSSIAN ROULETTE! OBVIOUSLY, IT ORIGINATED IN LAS VEGAS.


Dear Danno,
Have you ever tried Russian Roulette?
signed...Curious in Mesa

DEAR CURIOUS,
YES...I LOST.


Dear Danno,
You are always so right on! You are a model of consistency.
signed...Impressed in Iowa

DEAR IMPRESSED,
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT, BUT I WAS ONCE A MODEL INMATE. IT HELPED GET ME EARLY PAROLE.


Dear Danno,
If you were in an accident, would you want the doctors to pull the plug or would you want to be a vegetable for the rest of your natural life?
signed...Wondering in Wyoming

DEAR WONDERING,
PULL WHAT PLUG? AS FOR YOUR VEGETABLE QUESTION, I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THAT. I GUESS I WOULDN'T MIND BEING A STRING BEAN OR A CARROT. WHAT AN ODD QUESTION.


Dear Danno,
Do you think teachers are underpaid?
signed...Teacher in Texas

DEAR TEACHER,
YES ABSOLUTLEE. WHEN I LOOK AND SEA HOW SMART I TERNED OUT, ITS OBVIUS THAT MY TEECHERS WAS UNDERPADE. wARE WOOD i BEE WITHOUT THERE FINE TEECHING?



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