Danno Redefines the Dictionary

I have given a few words some new meanings! Personally, I think mine make more sense than Mr. Webster's definitions.

AXLE- The guy from Beverly Hills Cop

BASSOON- Anticipation of landing a big bass at any moment while fishing (i.e. I feel lucky, I think I'm going to catch a bassoon.)

CANONIZE- Taking a photo of someone using a Canon camera

CAPLET- Allowing someone to wear a hat where it is usually not permissible

CHUG-A-LUG - The act of drinking lugs

DYSTROPHY- Award given to members of a first place dys team

ELECTRON- What the public did when it voted Reagan into the White House as President

ENLIST- Spanish meaning of the word "list" (i.e. Donde esta enlist de shoppingo)

ESTRAY- The mispronunciation by a Spanish immigrant of the word ashtray (i.e. Hey ju..passa dat estray)

EX-WIFE - A man's worst nightmare!

FEUD- Another term for marriage often resulting in the above-mentioned word

FLAGELLUM- Cousin of Magellin, the explorer, he is given credit for not discovering Florida, but for creating its abbreviation

FURLONG- A fur coat which exceeds normal length limits

GENUS- Mis-spelling of the word genius (i.e. Danno is a genus)

GLOCKENSPIEL- the official language of Glocken

HEBREW- A beer belonging to some other guy

HUMBUG- An insect with the ability to sing

IGNORANT- What an uncle does after too many years of marriage... ignore aunt

INFER- A term meaning anticipation (i.e. You're infer a treat tonight)

INORGANIC- Incapable of playing an organ (i.e. I can play the guitar but not the organ, I'm inorganic)

LAMPOON- The act of impaling someone with a lamp

LIGATURE- To write about ligs

MANAGEMENT- Bumbling idiots who attempt to run most Fortune 500 Companies

MORBID- The act of raising your bid at an auction (i.e. I wanted that vase, I should have morbid.)

MUR MUR- two murs

NUTCRACKER- The result of a young boy accidently falling foward off of his bicycle seat and landing onto the crossbar

NUTRITION- a trition that is new

OBSCURITY- security assigned to protect obs

OSTEO-PEROSIS - whatever the hell it means, it sounds bad

OZONE- Errogenous part of a woman's body that when stimulated, causes the woman to yell out: "oh!"

PROXY- slang for about (i.e. it's proxy three feet long, give or take a few inches)

QUARTZ- a halg gallon (i.e. two quartz equal a half gallon)

RADIOLOGY- the study of radios

REBIRTH- the rare occurence of a baby being born incorrectly, the doctor pushes the kid back in and starts all over again

STAY-UP - how a redneck pronounces the word step

STRAIGHT JACKET- A jacket that is not crooked

THESAURUS- prehistoric carnivore that would call the other dinosaurs names

TOTEM- 1.slang term to relay a message, most often heard in the ghetto (i.e. I totem not ta rob dat sto, bro)
2. slang meaning to teach (i.e. I totem everything I know)

UTTER- slang term meaning something else (i.e. Not that one, the utter one)

VICTIMIZE- the act of new parents naming their newborn son Vic or Tim

WHEEZY- what George Jefferson used to call his wife on the popular CBS sitcom

YIKES- Common response uttered when a wife comes home unexpectently at an inopportune moment

ZYMURGY- I don't know what it means, but I needed a word that began with the letter Z

see you next week!

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