--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 AJIT'S PHATTE


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Raaaaaaaaaaaaabert iss kuttay ko microprocessor may daal do !
 Bit by bit mur jaaya gaa saala!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Raaaaaaaaaaaaabert iss harami ko liquid oxygen may daal do !
 Liquid issay jeenay nahi day gaa, oxygen issay marnay nahi day gaa!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Raaabatt,  Dayna (Diana) ko thoda khatta khila do, yeh
 dayna se daynasour bhi ho jayegi, phir extinct bhi...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Raabatt,  isey thodi shampane pila do, paheley shame sey,
 phir pane sey mar jayegaa...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Raabatt,  isey peekak paisan pila do, yeh more sey
 no-more ho jayegaa...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Mona daarrling, tum Toni ke saath ghuumna band kar do,
 nahin to bahut MonaToni ho jayegee...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Raaabert, Harshad Mehta the Bull ka stool test karaao"
 "Kyon boss?"
 "Pata to chale akhir ye Bullshit kya hota hai"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Ajeet: Maikal, ise liquid helium mein daal ke 440 V pass kar do.
         Phir yeh superconductor ban jaayega, aur zindagi bhar ticket
	 kaat-ta reh jaayega.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Maikal: Baaas, yeh aadmi to kuch bol hi nahin raha hai. Kya karen ?
  Ajeet: Ise revaalving chair mein daal do.
         Pata chal jaayega chakkar kya hai.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Raabert: Boss , Sona kahan hai ?  ( Where is the Gold ? )
  Ajeet: Kahin par bhi so jao Raabert !!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Scene -  Raabert gets a sidey to Ajeet.)
Raabert: Baass, humne sidey ko pakad liya
  Ajeet: Ise maar ke pulees station ke saamne rakh do.
           Aur iske badan par ek sui chubha do.
Raabert: Par sui kyon, baass!
  Ajeet: Bewakoof! Pulees yeh samjhegi ki sui-cide hua hai!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Raabert: Baass, mere teen bacche hue. Unko kya naam doon?
  Ajeet: Ek ka naam rakhna Peter, doosre ka Maikal,
           aur teesre ka Cha Ling Chu.
Raabert: Par Cha Ling Chu kyoon?
  Ajeet: Bewakoof, duniya ka har teesra bacchaa Chinese hota hai!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Scene -  Ajeet thoroughly disgusted with Mona daaa..arrling's typing.)
  Ajeet: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Raabert: Magar kyoon baas ?
  Ajeet: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Ajeet: Raabert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur
         debugger istarrt kar do.
Raabert: Lekin kyoon, baas?
  Ajeet: Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Ajeet: Raabert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Raabert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakke maar raha hai.
  Ajeet: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega.
         Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Raabert: Yes Boss.
  Ajeet: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards,
            tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai .......

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Scene -  Giving a decision as to how the hero should be killed.)
  Ajeet: Peter, time bomb le aao aur is kutte ko usse bandh do.
         Timer ko theek das baje set kar do.
	 Nahin nahin, yeh saala to sub cheez hamesha late karta hai.
	 Iski maut bhi late honi chahiye. Timer ko panch minute late rakh do.
	 Arre, Raabert, Raabert, bevkoof, silly fellow, time bomb ko yahan peh
	 mat rakho, yeh to 'no-smoking' area hai. Ha haa ha.
	 Time bomb 'tic tic tic tic' karke bajega.
	 Aur iska dil 'tup tup tup' karke dhadkega.
         Tum agar paas me khade hoge to tumko 'tic tup tic tup tic tup'
         suanaai dega ..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Scene -  Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
  Ajeet: "Raabert, Ise varnish mein daal do,
         saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish bhi ho jaayega.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
  Ajeet: Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padegak.!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Scene -  Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
  Ajeet: "Raabert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal do.
         Saale ko Society jeene nahin degi aur security marne nahin degi.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Scene -  Raabert and Ajeet are in a boat.  The boat suddenly springs
a hole and water starts coming inside.  Raabert is perplexed !)
Raabert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
  Ajeet: Raabert Ek aur hole bana do, aur ek hole me IN
         aur doosre me OUT likh do.  Ek hole se paani ander aayega
	 aur doosre se bahar chala jayega !!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Scene -  Ajeet get's hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.)
  Ajeet: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath
         mein hara rang laga do.
 Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
  Ajeet: Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi
         to ise range haathon pakad legi. he he he....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------INDOlink    Humor--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
INDOlink, GENIUS, and their respective logos are trademarks of GENIUS Technologies, Inc.
<!--'"</title></head>-->

<script type="text/javascript">
//OwnerIQ
var __oiq_pct = 50;
if( __oiq_pct>=100 || Math.floor(Math.random()*100/(100-__oiq_pct)) > 0 ) {
var _oiqq = _oiqq || [];
_oiqq.push(['oiq_addPageBrand','Lycos']);
_oiqq.push(['oiq_addPageCat','Internet > Websites']);
_oiqq.push(['oiq_addPageLifecycle','Intend']);
_oiqq.push(['oiq_doTag']);
(function() {
var oiq = document.createElement('script'); oiq.type = 'text/javascript'; oiq.async = true;
oiq.src = document.location.protocol + '//px.owneriq.net/stas/s/lycosn.js';
var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(oiq, s);
})();
}
//Google Analytics
var _gaq = _gaq || [];
_gaq.push(['_setAccount','UA-21402695-19']);
_gaq.push(['_setDomainName','tripod.com']);
_gaq.push(['_setCustomVar',1,'member_name','divya_nagpal',3]);
_gaq.push(['_trackPageview']);
(function() {
var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js';
var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);
})();
//Lycos Init
function getReferrer() {
var all= this.document.cookie;
if (all== '') return false;
var cookie_name = 'REFERRER=';
var start = all.lastIndexOf(cookie_name);
if (start == -1) return false;
start += cookie_name.length;
var end = all.indexOf(';', start);
if (end == -1) end = all.length;
return all.substring(start, end);
}
function getQuery() {
var rfr = getReferrer();
if (rfr == '') return false;
var q = extractQuery(rfr, 'yahoo.com', 'p=');
if (q) return q;
q = extractQuery(rfr, '', 'q=');
return q ? q : "";
}
function extractQuery(full, site, q_param) {
var start = full.lastIndexOf(site);
if (start == -1) return false;
start = full.lastIndexOf(q_param);
if (start == -1) return false;
start += q_param.length;
var end = full.indexOf('&', start);
if (end == -1) end = full.length;
return unescape(full.substring(start, end)).split(" ").join("+");
}
function generateHref(atag, template){
atag.href=template.replace('_MYURL_', window.location.href.replace('http://', '')).replace('_MYTITLE_','Check%20out%20this%20Tripod%20Member%20site!'); 
}
var lycos_ad = Array();
var lycos_onload_timer;
var cm_role = "live";
var cm_host = "tripod.lycos.com";
var cm_taxid = "/memberembedded";
var tripod_member_name = "divya_nagpal";
var tripod_member_page = "divya_nagpal/A2.htm";
var tripod_ratings_hash = "1732388280:4d033b282f4202cba6fed11a48b9d7e1";

var lycos_ad_category = {"dmoz":"business\/construction_and_maintenance","ontarget":"&CAT=b2b","find_what":"build my website"};

var lycos_ad_remote_addr = "209.202.244.9";
var lycos_ad_www_server = "www.tripod.lycos.com";
var lycos_ad_track_small = "";
var lycos_ad_track_served = "";
var lycos_search_query = getQuery();
</script>

<script type="text/javascript" src="https://scripts.lycos.com/catman/init.js"></script>

<script type='text/javascript'>
 var googletag = googletag || {};
 googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || [];
 (function() {
   var gads = document.createElement('script');
   gads.async = true;
   gads.type = 'text/javascript';
   var useSSL = 'https:' == document.location.protocol;
   gads.src = (useSSL ? 'https:' : 'http:') +
     '//www.googletagservices.com/tag/js/gpt.js';
   var node = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0];
   node.parentNode.insertBefore(gads, node);
 })();
</script>

<script type='text/javascript'>
 googletag.cmd.push(function() {
   googletag.defineSlot('/95963596/TRI_300X250_dfp', [300, 250], 'div-gpt-ad-1450204159126-0').addService(googletag.pubads());
   googletag.defineSlot('/95963596/TRI_above_728x90_dfp', [728, 90], 'div-gpt-ad-1450204159126-1').addService(googletag.pubads());
   googletag.defineSlot('/95963596/TRI_below_728x90_dfp', [728, 90], 'div-gpt-ad-1450204159126-2').addService(googletag.pubads());
   googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest();
   googletag.enableServices();
 });
</script>


<script type="text/javascript"> 
(function(isV)
{
    if( !isV )
    {
        return;
    }
    var adMgr = new AdManager();
    var lycos_prod_set = adMgr.chooseProductSet();
    var slots = ["leaderboard", "leaderboard2", "toolbar_image", "toolbar_text", "smallbox", "top_promo", "footer2", "slider"];
    var adCat = this.lycos_ad_category;
    adMgr.setForcedParam('page', (adCat && adCat.dmoz) ? adCat.dmoz : 'member');
    if (this.lycos_search_query)
    {
        adMgr.setForcedParam("keyword", this.lycos_search_query);
    } 
    else if(adCat && adCat.find_what)
    {
        adMgr.setForcedParam('keyword', adCat.find_what);
    }
    
    for (var s in slots)
    {
        var slot = slots[s];
        if (adMgr.isSlotAvailable(slot))
        {
            this.lycos_ad[slot] = adMgr.getSlot(slot);
        }
    }

    adMgr.renderHeader();
    adMgr.renderFooter();
}((function() {

var w = 0, h = 0, minimumThreshold = 300;

if (top == self)
{
    return true;
}
if (typeof(window.innerWidth) == 'number' )
{
    w = window.innerWidth;
    h = window.innerHeight;
}
else if (document.documentElement && (document.documentElement.clientWidth || document.documentElement.clientHeight))
{
    w = document.documentElement.clientWidth;
    h = document.documentElement.clientHeight;
}
else if (document.body && (document.body.clientWidth || document.body.clientHeight))
{
    w = document.body.clientWidth;
    h = document.body.clientHeight;
}
return ((w > minimumThreshold) && (h > minimumThreshold));
}())));




window.onload = function()
{
    var f = document.getElementById("FooterAd");
    var b = document.getElementsByTagName("body")[0];
    b.appendChild(f);
    f.style.display = "block";
    document.getElementById('lycosFooterAdiFrame').src = '/adm/ad/footerAd.iframe.html';
    


    
    // DOM Inj Ad
    (function(isTrellix)
    {
        var e = document.createElement('iframe');
        e.style.border = '0';
        e.style.margin = 0;
        e.style.display = 'block';
        e.style.cssFloat = 'right';
        e.style.height = '254px';
        e.style.overflow = 'hidden';
        e.style.padding = 0;
        e.style.width = '300px';


        var isBlokedByDomain = function( href )
        {
            var blockedDomains = [
                "ananyaporn13000.tripod.com",
                "xxxpornxxx.tripod.com"
            ];
            var flag = false;
            
            for( var i=0; i<blockedDomains.length; i++ )
            {
                if( href.search( blockedDomains[ i ] ) >= 0 )
                {
                    flag = true;
                }
            }
            return flag;
        }

        var getMetaContent = function( metaName )
        {
            var metas = document.getElementsByTagName('meta');
            for (i=0; i<metas.length; i++)
            { 
                if( metas[i].getAttribute("name") == metaName )
                { 
                    return metas[i].getAttribute("content"); 
                } 
            }
            return false;
        }
        
        var getCommentNodes = function(regexPattern)
        {
            var nodes = {};
            var nodesA = [];
            var preferredNodesList = ['a', 'c', 'b'];
        
            (function getNodesThatHaveComments(n, pattern)
            {
                if (n.hasChildNodes())
                {
                    if (n.tagName === 'IFRAME')
                    {
                        return false;
                    }
                    for (var i = 0; i < n.childNodes.length; i++)
                    {
                        if ((n.childNodes[i].nodeType === 8) && (pattern.test(n.childNodes[i].nodeValue)))
                        {
                            var areaName = pattern.exec(n.childNodes[i].nodeValue)[1];
                            nodes[areaName] = n;
                        }
                        else if (n.childNodes[i].nodeType === 1)
                        {
                            getNodesThatHaveComments(n.childNodes[i], pattern);
                        }
                    }
                }
            }(document.body, regexPattern));

            for (var i in preferredNodesList)
            {
                if (nodes[preferredNodesList[i]])
                {
                    if( isTrellix && nodes[preferredNodesList[i]].parentNode.parentNode.parentNode.parentNode )
                    {
                        nodesA.push(nodes[preferredNodesList[i]].parentNode.parentNode.parentNode.parentNode);
                    }
                    else
                    {
                        nodesA.push( nodes[preferredNodesList[i]] );
                    }
                }
            }
            return nodesA;
        }
        
        
        var properNode = null;
        var areaNodes = getCommentNodes( new RegExp( '^area Type="area_(\\w+)"' ) );

        for (var i = 0; i < areaNodes.length; i++)
        {
            var a = parseInt(getComputedStyle(areaNodes[i]).width);
            if ((a >= 300) && (a <= 400))
            {
                properNode = areaNodes[i];
                break;
            }
        }


        var propertyName = getMetaContent("property") || false;
        if( isTrellix && (properNode) )
        {
            e.src = '/adm/ad/injectAd.iframe.html';
            properNode.insertBefore(e, properNode.firstChild);
        }
        else if( isTrellix && !( properNode ) ) // Slap the ad eventhought there is no alocated slot
        {
            e.src = '/adm/ad/injectAd.iframe.html';
            e.style.cssFloat = 'none';
            var cdiv = document.createElement('div');
            cdiv.style = "width:300px;margin:10px auto;";
            cdiv.appendChild( e );
            b.insertBefore(cdiv, b.lastChild);
        }
        else if( !isBlokedByDomain( location.href ) )
        {
            var injF = document.createElement('iframe');
            injF.style.border = '0';
            injF.style.margin = 0;
            injF.style.display = 'block';
            injF.style.cssFloat = 'none';
            injF.style.height = '254px';
            injF.style.overflow = 'hidden';
            injF.style.padding = 0;
            injF.style.width = '300px';
            injF.src = '/adm/ad/injectAd.iframe.html';

            if( b && ( !isTrellix || ( typeof isTrellix == "undefined" ) ) ) // All other tripod props
            {
                var cdiv = document.createElement('div');
                cdiv.style = "width:300px;margin:10px auto;";
                cdiv.appendChild( injF );
                b.insertBefore(cdiv, b.lastChild);
            } 
        }
  }( document.isTrellix ));
}

</script>

<div id="tb_container" style="background:#DFDCCF; border-bottom:1px solid #393939; position:relative; z-index:999999999!important">
<!--form name="search" onSubmit="return searchit()" id='header_search' >
<input type="text" placeholder="Search" size=30 name="search2" value="">
<input type="button" value="Go!" onClick="searchit()">
</form>
<style>
form#header_search {
    width: 916px;
    margin: 0 auto 8px;
    position: relative;
}


form#header_search input {
    height: 40px;
    font-size: 14px;
    line-height: 40px;
    padding: 0 8px;
    box-sizing: border-box;
    background: #F4F2E9;
    border: 1px solid #BBB8B8;
    transition: background-color 300ms ease-out,
                color 300ms ease;
}

form#header_search input[type="text"] {
    width: 100%;
}
form#header_search input[type="text"]:focus {
    border-color: #A2D054;
    background-color: #fff;
    box-shadow: 0 0px 12px -4px #A2D054;
}



form#header_search input[type="button"] {
    position: absolute;
    top: 1px;
    right: 1px;
    opacity: 1;
    background: #DFDCCF;
    color: #463734;
    width: 125px;
    cursor: pointer;
    height: 38px;
    border: none;
}
form#header_search input[type="text"]:focus ~ input[type='button']:hover,
form#header_search input[type='button']:hover {
    background-color: #A5CE56;
    color: #fff;
}
form#header_search input[type="text"]:focus ~ input[type='button'] {
    background-color: #52AEDF;
    color: #fff;
}

</style>

<script>
function searchit(){
    
    // determine environment 
    var search_env 
    if (lycos_ad_www_server.indexOf(".pd.") > -1) {
       search_env = 'http://search51.pd.lycos.com/a/';
    } else if (lycos_ad_www_server.indexOf(".qa.") > -1) {
       search_env = 'http://search51.qa.lycos.com/a/';
    } else {
       search_env = 'http://search51.lycos.com/a/';
    }

var search_term = encodeURIComponent(document.search.search2.value)
var search_url = search_env+search_term;
window.open(search_url);

return false
}
</script-->
<style>
    .adCenterClass{margin:0 auto}
</style>
<div id="tb_ad" class="adCenterClass" style="display:block!important; overflow:hidden; width:916px;">

<div id="ad_container" style="display:block!important; float:left; width:728px ">
<script type="text/javascript">
if (typeof lycos_ad !== "undefined" && "leaderboard" in lycos_ad) {
  document.write(lycos_ad['leaderboard']);
}
</script>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<script type="text/javascript">
if (typeof lycos_ad !== "undefined" && "slider" in lycos_ad) {
  document.write(lycos_ad['slider']);
}
</script> <!-- added 7/22 -->
<div id="FooterAd" style="background:#DFDCCF; border-top:1px solid #393939; clear:both; display:none; width:100%!important; position:relative; z-index:999999!important; height:90px!important"> 
<div class="adCenterClass" style="display:block!important; overflow:hidden; width:916px;">
<div id="footerAd_container" style="display:block!important; float:left; width:728px">
<iframe id="lycosFooterAdiFrame" style="border:0; display:block; float:left; height:96px; overflow:hidden; padding:0; width:750px"></iframe>
</div>
</div>
</div>