!!News Flash!! Today, Friday the 5th of March 1999, Cocheese got her first A on a Calculus test!

I HATE CALCULUS!!

Yeah, I know I probably should be doing my homework but I can't, because I don't know how because i'm a retard; and related rates are the gayest type of thing I've ever seen, boy how I miss geometry. Yes this page is me ranting and raving about the unlove of my life - Calculus. The red background symbolizes hate.

"Calculus & alcohol don't mix. Don't drink & derive."

"Calculus isn't math, it's satan worshiping and anyone who knows how to do it is evil." K. M.


other people are failing calc. with yours truly.
The Calculus Christmas Carol
sung to "oh christmas tree"

Oh Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
How tough are both you branches?
Oh Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
To pass, what are my chances?
Derivatives I cannot take,
At integrals, my fingers shake!
Oh Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
How tough are both your branches.
Oh Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
You theorems I can't master.
Oh Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
My proofs are a diaster!
You pull a trick out of the air
or find a reason, god knows where!
Oh Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
Your theorems I can't master
The Calculus Christmas Carol
2nd version

also sung to "O Christmas Tree"

Oh Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
Your problems do distress me!
Oh Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
Related rates depress me.
I walk toward lampposts in my sleep,
and running water makes me weep!
Oh Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
Your problems do distress me.
Oh Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
My limit I am reaching.
Oh Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
For mercy I'm beseeching.
My grades do not approach a B,
they're an Epsilon away from a D.
Oh Calculus; Oh, Calculus,
My limit I am reaching.
!!Top   Ten   Reasons   Why   I   HATE   CALCULUS!!

10. It was invented by Isaac Newton, the same guy who let apples fall on his head.

9. Newton and Leibnetz fought over who figured it out first. Nothing good ever came out of a disagreement.

8. It makes me clench my teeth and have bad nightmares.

7. Calculus relies too much on algebra.

6. It doesn't seem to apply to anything.

5. It makes recreational mathematics seem like fun. (Geometry is just down the hall)

4. Calculus encourages brain rot.

3. It makes me sad to look at the Chain Rule.

2. There isn't a calculus calculator yet.

AND the number one reason why I hate calculus is.........

1. It makes me think the first period of the day and puts me in a bright and shiny mood!!!

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