I got up this morning, but haven't yet dressed. My dishes aren't done, and my house is a mess.

Have not done a day's work, have not fed the cat, Went online for a second, and popped in to "chat".

I wanted to travel around on the Net, But been too busy chatting to get on there yet.

There's so much to learn and I wanted to but I'm too busy chatting and splitting a gut,

Now up pops a name on my ICQ List, Think I'll go out and give HIS tail a twist!

And in comes a whisper from some weirdo guy I cuss 'im, insult 'im, and tell him "bye bye".

Talkin' and listenin'...is it such a sin? Oh, gawd, what a fix I have got myself in!

I used to watch TV, I used to cook Mex, I think I remember...yeah, I used to have SEX!

Is there a 12 step, support group, or such? For those of us folks who chat on too much?

If there was a group, it would suit me just fine, Except that it prob'ly would be here online!

Are there therapists here? I think that I saw some It's got me, it's got me, keeps beckoning come.

I think I'm addicted... I see all the signs, Please help me, please help me, please get me offline! Or better, please Email a burger and fries, 'Cause I'll be here online, at least 'til I die!!!


Warning by Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn't goe, and doesn't suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired And gobble up sample in shops and press alarm bells And run my stick along the public railings And make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers inthe rain And pick the flowers in other people's gardens And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat And eat three pounds of sausages at a go Or only bread and pickle for a week (yes, that's pickle, not plural!!) And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry And pay our rent and not swear in the street And set a good example for the children. We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now? (yes, practise is spelled right here) So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.


Excuse This House