Told you I'd be back.
Before I get into anything too substancial, here's a little story to entertain you. Well, I know it certainly entertained me. Sunday night when Joci, Erin and I were watching TV, a commercial came on for Loretta Lynn's gospel album. Have you seen this commercial? She sings happily, waving her arms around for effect and she has 4 less-than-thrilled backup singers harmonizing. Although on the songs "Swing Low Sweet Chariot" and my personal favorite, "In the Sweet Bye and Bye", the backup singers look particularly chipper. So we watch this commercial and make fun of it and then the little order form shows up, calling the product "Loretta Gospel." "Loretta Gospel..." Joci mocks. I let it go because I thought she was making fun of the product itself but then during the next commercial break, we see a similar commercial, but promoting Elvis Presley. At the order form screen it says "Elvis Gospel" and Joci says "Loretta Gospel...oh I thought that was her name!" To which I laugh and say "Maybe she and Elvis are related." Ok, maybe you had to be there but it was really funny. And every time the commercial came on, we would all crack up. For the next two days, Erin Joci and I walked around singing "Swing Low Sweet Chariot" and "In the Sweet Bye and Bye". Oh, one more thing. During the Elvis commercial, a song popped up called "Bosom of Abraham" and I said the title and started laughing. Then Joci starts singing the song. Erin and I looked at each other and were like "How does she know that?" Again--you had to be there. But I was, and it was funny dammit! :P
A year ago I broke up with someone you Rambler readers know only as "X". Some of you know who she is, most of you don't and we're going to leave it like that out of respect for this person. The day...well the day and the week after she broke up with me, I really didn't update so I can't link to an entry from a year ago, but I talked about it all exactly one month later. Read about that here. I will say that in that entry, "Z" is Joci. If it weren't for her, I may not have pulled through that.
Looking back on that relationship, it seems far away. It seems almost as if it happened to someone else. I think because I am so happy now, and I can't fathom being sad and heartbroken the way I was. What X and I had was special to me...and to her and we are still friends. She is a good person. I don't regret what we had together because it shaped me as a person and I think it made me stronger. I also learned some things about myself. I learned that when I am sad about something, I am manipulative. I try to get what I want by making other people feel bad, even if I don't know I am doing it. I also learned that I can't work things out on my own, I rely on my friends far too much, but I am not complaining. Had I not relied on Joci so much, we may not have grown closer through our opening up and then I may not be where I am today. I am a year older, but several years wiser.
Drama here, drama there, drama everywhere. I have been calling this the drama that's not really a drama because I don't comprehend the point at which something so seemingly insignificant could actually have become a drama.
You just have no clue what I'm talking about do you?
Well if you've been reading Crackville and The Org, you probably still couldn't piece it together. It's all been mentioned so vaguely. If you've come here looking for the whole story, you've come to the wrong place.
What I actually wanted to say was that through all of this, Rebekah is being awesome. We've had a couple pretty good talks in the past week and it's nice to be able to sympathize with someone who is directly involved in this "drama." By the way, check out what she had to say today about it--it is so right on.
When people get mad at me, I want them to explain to me exactly why they are mad and what I can do to fix it. However, I also expect them to hear what I have to say on the matter and at least give me a chance to apologize. Maybe that is just totally unreasonable of me, but it has always worked in the past, and many friendships have been saved because we've communicated and talked through them and not just let everything fester. It's exceedingly frustrating to be talked about and called less than flattering names to perfect strangers on a website, yet not even be able to talk to the source of the name-calling.
The bottom line is, I don't think I'm a horrible person. I don't think anyone involved is a horrible person. I think the lines of communication were crossed, I accept some, but not all of the blame. I am owning up to what I did and I have apologized for it. I've done all I can do and now I'm just sitting back and waiting because I am optimistic that time will heal all wounds and that it will blow over.
Sorry if I've completely confused you. The truth is I wasn't going to say anything about this at all because I thought I'd go off on 600 tangents and end up writing a novel. I was just going to let the subject lie, but I do think about it from time to time and I'm supposed to share what I'm thinking, right? So there you go.
So other than that...same old, same old. I'm getting along with my roommates okay, work is going well, my boss doesn't hate me for missing 3 days of work, and I'm almost caught up on school work. What could be better? Oh, I don't know, how about if I was magically transported 3000 miles east to a small dorm room at Yale containing the most important person in my life? That...that would be better.
East siders: Biotch