EVERYDAY THOUGHTS #5 ------------------ March 25, 1998 ____ ___ __----__ _/\ _/^ __ ^\_ /~^_/ | )/^ ^-^ _/ _/^ _/^ ^\_ ^\ | ./ /~ /( _/\. _/^_/^--_ ^\_^\-__-~ _/( \ _/ ./ ./^_/| \_ ~\ \_^\_ /^ _( ~-_ _/ \./\ _/^_/ \_ ~\ \ ^\__^\../^_/^ )\ ~~~~ _\/ <__/ ~\__\| ^\.__./^ ~---____--~ ~\ In this issue: Introduction and some poems ....... vonfam@rapfire.net Hello ............................... Love1612@aol.com So who's this Dr. RomeAntic anyways?? ...................... romeantic@hotmail.com intro+ ............................... gosiam@juno.com Re: Everyday Thoughts #3 ........... Luv2parT4@aol.com Intro.......................... kristenluv@hotmail.com small stupid poems ............ kristenluv@hotmail.com "Monster" ....................... wxt950@freenet.mb.ca Re: Everyday Thoughts #4 .......... Pooh99Pooh@aol.com my intro ...................... sullengurl@hotmail.com intro thingamajig ............. moonsong@ix.netcom.com Time for my own intro...I think ..... ICURMINE@aol.com Re: Everyday Thoughts #4 - Intro! . DGlowAngel@aol.com A Notice and Intro ................... larajean@gmx.de ************************************************** From: vonfam@rapfire.net Subject: Introduction and some poems.. Date: Fri, 27 Mar 1998 Hello~ I thought I'd go ahead and introduce myself. Well, I'm 14, a freshman, homeschooled, and I live in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I have two younger brothers, ages 12 and 2. I'm a really quiet and shy person, so I really like the net. It lets me talk to people without being face to face(which i'm not very good at...). I love writing poetry, it's really an outlet for me, and I believe it's helped me thru alot of things in my life. I might even have one of my poems published later this year. I also love singing, the only one that really hears me belt it out though, is my cat. ;) And, of course, I love Jewel. Others I like include, Sarah McLaghlan(forgive me if I spelled it wrong), No Doubt, Celine Dion, Fiona Apple, Sheryl Crow, Verve, and at the moment, I can't think of the others. :) I like all kinds of music, but I mostly listen to modern rock. Okay, I'm probably boring you all to death...I'll go ahead and send some of my poems with this. Please feel free to mail me with any comments, or whatever. ALways, Naomi (- naomisplace@angelfire.com -) ~the quiet angel~ ---------------------------------------------- Reality When you look out, All you see is the sun shining bright, The houses and the people. But if you look deeper... You will feel the bitter coldness, See the unkept yards, And hear the angry souls. Go ahead, Pull your quilt closer to you Close your eyes, And shut your ears to the pain and sorrow. But you cannot block it out forever It will always be there, When you awake. Reality always catches its victim No matter how far you burrow, Within its darkness. ---------------------------------------------- Love Love is a puzzle, Within a puzzle With a rare resolution, And various painful endings. Love is knowing why Not how or when But why/ you feel The way you do Love is unsureness For rarely returned equally It leaves you confused, And disallusioned. Love brings you to darkness, Solitude; Quiet. ************************************************** From: Love1612 Subject: Hello Date: Sat, 28 Mar 1998 03:00:17 EST Hi my name is Natasha. My friends call me Tasha. Anyway. I believe my goal in life is to get more in touch with my inner self. (Some may think I'm crazy right now but I'm not.) I'm 14, well actually 13 but my birthday is on April 17 so. Anyway If anyone has really touching poems please send me one. I really like them and please tell me if I could write it down in my book, I put your name right under it and It stays forever. (This is just my poetry book that I write my poems in.) and if you want one of mine please tell me but I don't have many. That's it for now. from the "other" angel, *Tasha* ************************************************** From:"Dr. RomeAntic" Subject: So who's this Dr. RomeAntic anyways?? Date: Sat, 28 Mar 1998 First of all I'd like to say hi to all of you out there that are interested enough in getting to know more about people that are empowering jewels discussion list. So a warm WELCOME!!! to all of us to this new list! :) OK... so who is this Dr. RomeAntic? There is no way of knowing everything... since I don't know either... but some ideas behind the name may be found here(it is long so unless you really care... skip it): Chapter ONE - EXISTENCE I heard people say that your life depends and is built on what other people let you have. How, oh, so very wrong - yet believing in that makes it true. I never believed that - I feel that I'm the master of my destiny, I'm the one who can make my life HAPPEN, if I set my mind to it... still I can't seem to do it... I'm too much of a coward... chicken... to make a major risk, a major stand for myself... hmm wait a minute... not exactly.. I do stand for myself... I do know how to defend my actions and how to admit mistakes... I'm actually proud of many things about me except for being TOO SHY... I don't wanna risk my position in the world (society) - which is : nobody... but it's better than somebody disliking what you said and letting the people, you would like to impress, with wrong impression of you - just because some jerk disagrees with you... and the other possibility is something like: "It's better to remain silent and let people think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!" I used to be silent all my life.. but recently I found out that I am far from being a bad human being... my friends kept telling me that until I realized that my eyes were shut all the time - so I opened them and saw that average people are not even close to being who I am (I mean I don't think I'm better than anybody - just wiser and richer I guess cause I care for other people more than I do for myself sometimes and I also have people who care for me just as much-blessing!?) I have (I really do believe that) good ideas about life - the meaning of life is still wrapped in black and mostly because it constantly appears to be changing - because life as we know it has changed from what it used to be... and apparently it's getting worse, cause most people don't give a shit about what's right, what's nice and what is OK with others... and all of this because somebody thought it was boring to be responsible - and others actually liked that not knowing what they have lost... I think I found most of that inside my heart... and I'm grateful to those who planted it there and for reminding me to water it and to pluck all of the weeds that may grow around it... I think I must have missed a few - probably cause they are invisible and invincible, so that means I'M NOT PERFECT... comfort: NOBODY IS... there are just those who are close and those who are lost cause of wrong thinking, numb feelings etc. There is so much to LIFE... destiny is what makes life a bit numb... BUT I believe that destiny can be changed... with power of your heart&mind&soul - if you can change yourself, make yourself see who you should be, what you should be doing - I believe that we posses the power to change our destiny to the left or right, to up or down... LOVE is LIFE or LIFE is LOVE... everything else is a side-effect... all the feelings, all the actions are side-effect which vary according to what we love, how we love, who we love and how much we are ABLE TO LOVE... I EXIST cause of LOVE, I still EXSIST cause of LOVE I have for life and cause of love my family and some friends have for me... existence is hanging by a very thin thread, when you think love doesn't make sense or does not exist for you anymore... at least in my case... and at one point in my life I came to think life wasted me... because I wanted it to be good... like it used to be... I was considering my options: 1. Give into it man and live your boring, and heart breaking life, accept the pain it causes you day by day... there's nothing you can do about it 2. No use man... life sucks... don't bother anymore... save your self... ->SUICIDE I didn't bother with the first option for a long time... because I couldn't live like that... everything I wanted and needed slipped away from me and it never was my fault really... I didn't need a life like that... yet second option offered a solution... and I was thinking about that for a long time until I came to a conclusion that I can't do that, because of two things: a)I'm too much of a coward b)but much more because of the fact that It would be a very selfish act... it would ruin people which have me as a part of their lives (more or less important) and it would mean that I surrendered. And thing about me is: -I'm not selfish -I don't quit, I don't surrender... I try until it makes sense to try... until there is still a goal that can be achieved... the worst way to end something is to give into defeat, to surrender to your enemy Once I realized that for myself... I felt released - like one half of my brain just cleared itself... and immediately came the third option: 3. Fight it man, with all you've got... most of all you have yourself and be proud, you are a very good person... build on yourself, build on who you are, and allow your friends to help you - make as many friends as you can - give each person a chance to show it's true colors, so you'll know who is worth of your trust... Use your youth - our mental strength, show the world you EXIST, show your face but don't offer your soul or your heart to anyone... be devoted but don't give anybody a chance to change you against your will... just BE and do your best to BE... So I am... I exist... I'm still climbing out of that deep hole to which I descended during years of blindness, numbness ... but someday I'm gonna be the happiest person on planet if I don't give up... It's hard and my heart is badly bruised and heals really slowly... but LOVE I have will help me BE and EXIST as I want to... not how others will let me......... S E W E R A G E (WRAPPED IN BLACK) By Dr. RomeAntic; Copyright September 1995 by Dr. RomeAntic Sunshine is fading It always does fade - when the night comes But this time it fades forever 'Cause the Sewerage has now begun The moon was shining in the night - before Now there's darkness everywhere The only thing now rules is fright - outside the front door Do you dare to go out there...and stare To the nothing To the past If your dreams can make it last To the future Empty sack It seems everything around you is... Wrapped in black It used to be the people Walking round the park - up and down But now the rats that we once hated Are concurring our town Doing nothing but fooling around But our kids they must not hear this It was really us that helped them out No way giving only taking And fooling around So now children are sitting home nervous Their playgrounds...someone took them away They are trying really hard to find one If it's possible today And so the window opens Some kid leans out...and stares To the darkness Sees the light That's his Grandpa's life shining bright "Why did you do that? Tell me Jack! 'Cos everything around me is... Wrapped in black" And so we stare To the future To the past If our dreams can make it last To the darkness To the nothing Well they must have left us something For the living For the smile Something that makes a life worthwhile And that's the dream Only dream But the dream - my friend - is convicted to die So you should ask yourself Are...we...just...a......DREAM ?! [end of chapter one] Hope I didn't bore you too much... so I'll just shut up for now... You can find more at: http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Metro/2009 Talk ta ya soon! -- Dr. RomeAntic, an angel with the worse stroke of luck "Scars are souvenirs you never lose The past is never far Did you lose yourself somewhere out there Did you get to be a star Don't it make you sad to know that life is more that who we are" [Name - Goo Goo Dolls] ************************************************** From: gosiam@juno.com Subject: intro+ Date: Sat, 28 Mar 1998 10:05:00 -0600 hi everyone.. my name is margaret, please don't call me marge or i'll strangle you..;D..well, i live in the chicago area. any people that live in the chicago area please contact me.. i'm 15, my birthday is January 28th 1983. and i like Jewel, Sarah, Bush,311, Ani Difranco, Pixies, and much, much more. :)..well, what else, i have a normal family (if you want to call it that:)), my two older brothers, Paul & Richard, Paul, is 26, and Richard is 23..i write poetry ( well, ok, at least i TRY!!), i read a lot of poetry type books, like Shakespeare, Poe, Dickens, etc, etc..i have been on the smoe list for about two years now.. lost of people have come and gone, and i miss the ones that are gone..they were kick ass..i mean it's not the same as it used to be..of course i'm thinking of un-subbing..i dunno...lots of people that i meet say i always look sad..i dunno..my poems are pretty sad, but its what i think and well, most of the things i think are pretty sad..i like to play basketball..i go to junior high, and i'm in 8th grade....well, that's it...ok, well, next time i will include a poem or two.. bye all!! margaret**hyper**angel ************************************************** From: Luv2parT4 Subject: Re: Everyday Thoughts #3 Date: Sat, 28 Mar 1998 Hey, I'm Alix a 14/f from Philly, PA. Jewel is my idol. I love her because she is so incredibly beautiful. Not just her face and body (though they are, too), but her soul and ideas and words. Every time I hear one of her songs I feel like crying. Not just from the sadness in her songs, but from her deep and powerful lyrics and how well she sends emotions across. I also love The Doors. Jim Morrison is another one of those rare wonderful people and I wish I could have been alive while he was. I feel really sad that I missed out on such a great era in time. I've been writing poetry for awhile, but I still don't think I'm that good. Here are a few of my favorites: Over the Rail Climbing over the rail, Looking down to the ground, Such a long way down. Feel your shoes slipping, Scared to fall, but scared to live. Remembering all you love, So scared, so sad. As the tears fall down, Down so far, You climb back over the rail. I wrote that one a long time ago, but it's still one of my favorites. Here is another one. I can't think of a title for it. My old friend has changed I know her less everyday As she slowly floats away To her new, uncaring world Where the smoke flows freely And so do the concerns Tears of blood drop down In a puddle of red agony On the floor below But they are not her tears For she does not feel Anymore. I wrote that one about my best friend. Well, former best friend. We have just been growing apart rapidly lately. I am upset by it, but I figure that if it was meant to be, than who am I to fight it. Well, I have to go now, but I love this list. I think it's a great idea. Well, bye! Al*the*Rain*Angel ************************************************** From: "* Jewel *" Subject: Intro... Date: Sun, 29 Mar 1998 Hey guyz! I've been an EDA for a few months now. This list seems pretty cool too. Anyways, I'm a 15/f living in the suburbs of Chicago. Wanna ee a pic of me? Email me. I love Jewel and she inspires me in many different ways. My friends think I'm obsessed. Oh well...maybe i am :). NE wayz, I'm a high brown belt in tae kwon do and am getting my red belt in 5 days! Um...I love poetry. I try to write it, ususally when I'm hurt. I get some lines from Jewel, but I don't consider it really "stealing" them. I don't find myself good at it, but it helps me get out a lot of feelings n' stuff. I like to talk to people, so email me if you wanna talk about anything at all. Well, I think I'm gonna enjoy this list! *~Kristen~* #9 --- My consuming thoughts; Numbness, pure numbness Numbness true to my mind on you Kissing my mouth Caressing my skin Holding me oh so tight As if it were only us forever Thinking now how cold you are to have forgotten How you stole my heart How you stole me, my purity How you left me alone in the dark Loving you in vain At the time Little did I know That engraved on my foolish heart To you I was just a "girl #9" tally mark... ************************************************** From: "* Jewel *" Subject: small stupid poems Date: Sun, 29 Mar 1998 Bad Habit --------- This addiction will not leave my veins Oh God, how I love this burning stick That fills my lungs with trash It's cravings occupy my body It's force tricks my mind But how I love it so... Relaxing -------- The sun cracks it's saucy yolk upon my flesh My body accepts the shy sand My eyes collapse in a soft hush The simple wind borrows my problems And wraps me in a blanket of peace ************************************************** From: Carole Bellamy Subject: "Monster" Date: Sun, 29 Mar 1998 Hello fellow thinkers, I first want to say that I love this list. It feels like "home" to me. Sound corny? Maybe, but I feel at ease here. There doesn't seem to be any hate or anger towards others on this list because we all understand that everyone's different. We all have seperate tastes, ideas and observations. Thank you people! Let's keep this up! Props to Lara!!:-) On a second note I wanted to tell the Agnostic Angel that I loved her "What do you have to say" poem. Really hit home for me. Well, all of the poems are amazing, this one just really struck me hard!! MONSTER by Shannon Bellamy Here I lie, alone again Endlessly waiting for this night to end I let my mind escape to a far away place Wishing for my thoughts of you to erase There is no hiding, you're everywhere My memories of you will never disappear Thoughts of you frighten me, making me lonely These images in my head... You telling me I should be dead Maybe one day I'll be free... Of the relationship of you and me. Shannon the bleeding hearted angel, xoxxo ************************************************** From: Pooh99Pooh Subject: Re: Everyday Thoughts #4 Date: Sun, 29 Mar 1998 I decided to write something Hi everyone! How are ya??? I'm Kari from PA. I'm gonna tell ya a little about myself. I'm 13 years old. I am pretty involved in school. I'm a cheerleader, play Eb clarinet in band, sing in chorus, am co-editor of The Cougar PawPrint, am a yearbook member, need I go on??? I can't wait for Jewel's new CD to come out. I like a lot of different kinds of music. Some of my favs are jewel, wallflowers, Sugar Ray (especially Cash. not so much for Fly), beatles and whatever. I have an online 'zine and if ya wanna subscribe Pooh99Pooh@aol.com <------write to me. Ok see ya Kari PS I'll probably be sending in some poetry. ************************************************** From: "Tonya Irving" Subject: my intro Date: Sun, 29 Mar 1998 Well, I guess it's my turn to introduce myself. My name is Tonya Irving and I think I might be one of the youngest on this list at only 15. I live in Tustin, California, and go to Tustin High. My passion are: writing (poems, songs, novels), reading (Koontz, King, Grisham, Angelou, Pike), singing, learning the piano and guitar, music (Jewel, Sarah M, Fiona, Ani DiFranco, Alanis, Bush, Sublime, everclear, etc), and cooking. I haven't had a very good life so far, my family is pretty messed up, so if I am depressing, dark, or twisted occasionally, please excuse me! My big dream in life is either to be in a band, not necessarily famous, or to be a writer. When i share my poems with you, PLEASE feel free to give me any criticsm/suggestions. I am always open to helpful hints. Also, I LOVE hearing others' poems, so feel free to send me any. Well, enough about me already! Here's one of my darker poems: On My Own I am all alone in the dark I reach out fumbling for someone's hand But no one comes to reassure me I guess I never expected them to I long ago gave up on the idea That there was anyone who truly cared for me I've learned from experence that There is no one I can count on It's too hard to go on fooling myself I know that I am on my own in this life There is no one to help me through it I must muddle through on my own You may say I'm just a cynic But soon you too will learn the harsh truth There is no one who truly cares Everyone's too busy with their own lives It's one of my few prose poems, hope you liked it! Tonya The Angel who be's that way sometimes My heart has 3 empty rooms, 2 wait for lightning, 1 waits for you - Jewel Though I search myself, it's always someone else I see - Elton John ************************************************** From: moonsong@ix.netcom.com (Charlie, Sami, Cobby) Subject: intro thingamajig Date: Sun, 29 Mar 1998 Okay people, here we go. In this sea of 17- and 19-year-olds, I'm your little 14 year old sister. My name is Samara but I always call myself Sam on the EDA list. I live in California, just 2 hours from Jewel's place in San Diego, actually (why aren't I blessed). I'm in between LA and SDiego, the mountains and the beach. I have a brother, sister, parents...da-da-da-dee-da. Uhm..... I'm homeschooled but more or less in high school, if you can call it that. Like most teenagers, I'm beginning to learn the meaning of the term "broken heart," more or less, though I have no doubt that I have barely begun to dip into that poisonous pool yet. Well anyway I just found out that the person I thought I thought I loved actually loves someone else (and that info came from him). I swear, give me 2 years and I could have written the chorus to "YWMFM". Oh well. Anyway, I usually love life, I'm a generally happy person. I have my doubts and heck, life has its ups and downs. No can do about that. And I'll save the rest for later. I just wanted to say...I loved "OCTOBER BLUES" by Shannon Bellamy. Okay well I gotta eat lunch. C-ya later in poem land. Sam moonsong@ix.netcom.com ************************************************** From: ICURMINE Subject: Time for my own intro...I think Date: Sun, 29 Mar 1998 Hi all~ I love the idea of being on this list from virtually the begining! My name is Tim, and I am from Davenport Iowa... farm country (not really, but thats the impression everyone gets when I say Iowa, isnt it?). Any way, I am about in my billionth year at college, at least thats the way it seems... I am majoring in MIT right now, but that may change, as i am really sick of the school i attend. Next fall I will transfer up the road to a four year college and hopefully get the education that i am after. I love allmost all music! Until recently I had been listening to only hip hop and rap, but have realized that i have found my appetite to be insatiable for new music... Jewel is the artist that interests me the most, allthough I just saw Steve Poltz and realized that his is the best album i have bought since POY. My other favorite groups are 2Pac, Tara Maclean, Suicidal Tendencies, Metallica, Snoop Doggy Dogg, im just getting into Tori Amos, Motzart, Wagner, as you can see im on my way to making you decide that it would be easier to name the groups or types of music i dont like! I LOVE basketball, the Buls rule! Oh yeah my two best friends are Glen Wooldridge, and Theresa Battin.... ufortunately they dont allways care for each other. any ways, im out like chumbawumba (what ever that means) Tim the paper angel ************************************************** From: DGlowAngel Subject: Re: Everyday Thoughts #4 - Intro! Date: Sun, 29 Mar 1998 ok, I'm going to jump on the bandwagon here and introduce myself. My name is Crystal Slaughter, I'm 15 years old and live in Michigan. I'm a sophmore in high school and I can't wait to get out of here! I plan to take my car and drive... I know everybody says that but nothing in the world could keep me from it. As for my *schedule* for life (sigh... I hate schedules) I'm going to finish high school, then spend a summer in Paris on a college program. That might be nice. After that comes the driving. I have 4 cats - Annoying Customer (yes, I stole the name from the movie Clerks) Tapioka (sp?) Lucious and Bright Eyes. I have a mouse named Mouse, a hedgehog named Monet, a dog named Mama (I didn't name her) a bunch of fish and a bird named Pablo. As you can tell, my animals are my life ;). I love Jewel, Sarah McLachlan, Tori Amos, Ani DiFranco, Paula Cole, Lisa Loeb, Meredith Brookes, Fiona Apple, The Beatles, Peter Gabriel, Shawn Colvin, Tracy Bonham, Enya, and a small side obsession with Monty Python. I'll also attach a poem (you'll probably all notice which Jewel line inspired this poem): Girl Locked in the bathroom She's crying; she cries His fist hitting the door While inside she dies She's a deep-seated root That can't find it's way home She's as tough as a cactus Until night leaves her alone He said, "Well you know, I never liked you that much anyway" They were all shocked; she wasn't He said that everyday She's a tall strong tree Vibrant and living She's a shaking child Always giving, giving On the porch she's waiting For a car to stop, ask what's wrong In her dream she'll get in And she'll be gone, gone She's a clear blue river Running deep and running free She'll look in the mirror Somedays I think she might be me Well, take care all you beautiful angels! I'm a little shy about my poems, so if you don't like it, please just don't tell me, ok? ;) DayGlow Angel, a.k.a Crystal ************************************************** From: Lara Subject: A Notice and Intro Date: Sun, 29 Mar 1998 Hello! First off the notice... I am going to be out of town starting tomorrow until the end of the week, just so you know why no digest! I will get everything up and running again Saturday! Now for my over-due intro... My name is Lara. I am a freshman majoring in computer science, at the moment. I am probably changing my major to international business next year with my language being Spanish. I have always really loved languages!! I am just your regular eighteen-year-old. I am really into music and movies. My favorites (other than Jewel) are Tori Amos, the Indigo Girls, Sarah McLachlan, Lisa Loeb, Counting Crows, Billy Joel, and Dave Matthews Band. I have a big page up for Tori Amos. It is bigger than my Jewel page now just because I have had it up longer. I play the flute and the piano. I saw Jewel perform at the Lilith Fair in Nashville and it rocked! I am definitely going this summer as well. I am transferring back to Auburn this fall and I am so excited! I am getting my own apartment and everything! I subscribe to RDTRN as well as the Jewel Mailing List. I love to write poetry. It makes me feel better! I am constanly writing instead of doing my calculus homework. I just wrote some new stuff and I will post it soon :) My older stuff is up on my webpage. Hmmm... I just had a thought for the Everyday Thoughts webpage!! I will put up some of you guy's poems as part of the site. If you have poems, pick your favorite and email it to this email address... lruth@usa.net (please do not send it to the list address or things might get confusing!). Let me know if you have your poetry up on your site as well and I will put a link in. Okay... well I am going to sleep now! Goodnight all! :) Lara http://members.tripod.com/~laruth daisies421 on AIM ******************************************************* Everyday Thoughts -- http://surf.to/eda_thoughts to post -- send email to eda_thoughts@yahoo.com to unsubscribe, write eda_thoughts@yahoo.com with "remove" as the subject *******************************************************