From: Everyday Thoughts Subject: Everyday Thoughts #7 EVERYDAY THOUGHTS #7 ------------------ April 5, 1998 ____ ___ __----__ _/\ _/^ __ ^\_ /~^_/ | )/^ ^-^ _/ _/^ _/^ ^\_ ^\ | ./ /~ /( _/\. _/^_/^--_ ^\_^\-__-~ _/( \ _/ ./ ./^_/| \_ ~\ \_^\_ /^ _( ~-_ _/ \./\ _/^_/ \_ ~\ \ ^\__^\../^_/^ )\ ~~~~ _\/ <__/ ~\__\| ^\.__./^ ~---____--~ ~\ In this issue: some more poems ............. christie-21@mailcity.com this and that ..................... vonfam@rapfire.net Innocence (Maintained) ......... romeantic@hotmail.com just to say hi and .......... christie-21@mailcity.com Don't blink .......... ksg7t@server1.mail.virginia.edu Some poems ....................... HCCZ70D@prodigy.com "Life and You" .................. wxt950@freenet.mb.ca "A Memory" ........................... larajean@gmx.de ************************************************** From: "Christie Ambert" Subject: some more poems Date: Sat, 04 Apr 1998 Hey Eda`s.... How`s everyone doing?? Im doing great Im getting better I`m actually gaining weight which according to my boyfriend is great considering Im a recovering anorexic..yes ppl. I was reading Naomi`s post and i know how it feels....you are not alone,but I use this in a positive way as inspiration. That why I have written so many poems and short stories. We should the negative things in life and turn them into positive things. I`ve got two poems I wrote a few weeks ago... plz email me and let me know what you think... by the way Lara thanks for the compliment on SELFISH..for those of you who didnt get it it was about an arguement with my dad ------------------------------------------------------- Eternal Battle------By Christie---The Flowerchild Angel How can you give love and take it back so easily? With one stupid sentence you brought me from heaven to hell. Without thinking twice about consequences and feelings, the good the bad feelings involved. Why can`t you make it better without making it worse? So stop following me around the world, let me be my love. Free me from this hurt and sorrow let me be happy again. Happiness without a world filled with hate and fear and hunger. So stop tearing me up inside, let me heal my wounds alone free of what we once called love. I am taking a stand, I`ve never letting anyone step all over me. No one will take me for granted and my voice will be hear and my writing will be read. I will turn my death wish into your eternal torture... and we will be in an eternal battle. ------------------------------------------------------- Impossible Dreams by--Christie The Flowerchild Angel---- Let me dream of a world filled with happiness and sincerity. I want people to be clowns, they`re happy, they have no problem, they hide behind a mask. Let me hide my trueself, cause there`s no one in this world that can love me, just the way I am. Let me try a little deceit, if it works if he loves me, he will love my li forever. But being sincere comes naturally to me, I cant be deceitful, then he must love me. Maybe I can take off my mask, it doesnt matter what I look like what matters is who i am inside. P.S. tell me what you guys think of these poems and let me know...email me at christie-21@mailcity.com ************************************************** From: vonfam@rapfire.net Subject: this and that... Date: Sat, 04 Apr 1998 Hey Everyone, First I want to say that all you guys are such great writers, and I love reading your poetry. Also, thank you Lara for your kind words. I'll spare you all my ramblings today, and just send a few poems I wrote recently. I love others opinions of my poems, so please feel free to mail me if you have the time... Always, Naomi ~the unknown angel~ naomisplace@angelfire.com ---------------------------- Darkness Darkness. Lately this is all I know I don't want it this way but I have lost all control over myself and my emotions I feel like I'm in a daze walking around in slow motion not really there Just watching everyone's life go by While I stand still Why can't I wake up, from this prolonged nightmare? There's so much good, in my life right now So why do I feel so dead? I really wish I knew. Everyday it seems I swirl deeper and deeper into darkness I claw for solid ground I try holding on, but I feel like letting go... 4-2-98 ------------------------------ Ramblings Tears fall down my already stained cheeks So used to crying I have become that I no longer need a reason I'll just be sitting looking out a window, and i'll come undone. Sobs rack my frame, as I grasp for valid explanation But none come to me, as I slowly regain control I'm so tired of my life, but what can I do? I write poetry, "a window to my soul." I sing, althought my voice has become hoarse I'm exausted by tears and feel guilty for unloading on my friends Why am I this way, so completly out of control? 3-28-98 ************************************************** From: "Dr. RomeAntic" Subject: Innocence (Maintained) Date: Sun, 05 Apr 1998 Hi EDAs! I decided to post this to this list since it's not exactly the answer to the question but more discussion about the answers... Kat and Sean already said something on this subject and that is a part of what I'm about to say. Now it's probably true as Jewel says "Innocence can't be lost", but only in a way, cause I believe that we do lose our innocence except we lose it within ourselves!!! Every single person (child) that wants to stand up to this world has to open up in order to stand a chance. If we want to survive we have to sacrifice and that means that we fall under the influence of the world and people that are part of it. And this imperfect world and imperfect people are bound to cause each and every one of us some harm one way or the other and that is a high cost to pay, for we lose the ideals we once had. I know that when I was still very young I had such a wonderful picture of the world but it got destroyed by reality - that was when I was able to understand reality, when I was confronted with it... through school, friends and other media. Think about it - somebody that is innocent is what it seems impossible to find... but look into the baby's smiling face and think about his future and your past... it brings tears to my eyes... something so beautiful, pure, peaceful, worryless... but when you take their tiny hands into yours and realizing how fragile they are ... yet still too young to have their innocence broken - to understand anything... although sometimes I could almost swear they understand everything much better - cause they can probably simplify everything into the heart of the matter no distractions (dillusions). But as we grow up remaining fragile something will eventually bend and/or break within us and that is where it all ends... once you lose some beauty or purity and you express worry and trying your best to be stronger - we are no longer innocent... our being we were born with is mared and thus lost somewhere within us - and as bits and pieces can sometimes be revived they do usually last for a moment like this as we maybe remember how everything seemed perfect once... like maybe paradise or something... but unfortunately this world is far from it as I look at it now... however like I said there is a tiny place where I can see this perfect world, this innocence I (and probably to some extent all of us) long for - in baby's eyes, face and moves... but can't see it in the mirror and I'll NEVER will! So Sean I do believe all those things (sex, drugs, life experience, escaping from being sheltered, loss of naivete) like you said, have nothing to do with meaning of innocence, but they do affect it's existence.... it was like telling that a person who got raped can still believe in it's innocence (not that it wants to), or people who go down under drug abuse, or those who watched their parents being pulled out of a car wreck (please note that I'm deliberately going into extremes here - it doesn't really take even close to that much)... And then there is a spark that can bring back a great deal of it... like when you fall in love, or something you dreamed of and hoped for comes true etc... wonderful things about life can make things a great deal better and happiness comes with it... though it is never the same, people quickly adjust and satisfy with what they think is most they can get... Personally I don't know what that is yet... hope I will soon... I sure am in need of something or somebody to help me with that and to help me restore something of what I lost and mantain what I still got left from when I was born!! If all I said here is not true and we still are innocent - then I'm somehow cursed into not seeing it and thus am suffering... Well that's all I have to say on this subject...for now at least... Next time... I'll post a poem or two... -- Dr. RomeAntic, an angel with the worse stroke of luck "Scars are souvenirs you never lose The past is never far Did you lose yourself somewhere out there Did you get to be a star Don't it make you sad to know that life is more that who we are" [Name - Goo Goo Dolls] ************************************************** From: "Christie Ambert" Subject: just to say hi and..... Date: Sat, 04 Apr 1998 Hi guys.... Listen ive created this channel on the mIRC if any of you like to chat and really get to know up close and personal other eda`s the channel`s name is #eda_thoughts Feel free to chat about Jewel and other stuff Love you all... Christie The Flowerchild Angel...... ************************************************** From: Kara Garbe Subject: Don't blink Date: Sun, 5 Apr 1998 Hey everyone, I had a rather introspective night of wandering and writing, and thought I'd post something I wrote. blink my savior comforting and protective warm and welcoming my life my liberation my everything blink my demon haunting and shadowed cold and foreboding my memory my captor my nothing blink my death -------------------------------------------------- "We shall meet again - if we do meet again - in the place where there is no darkness." ~George Orwell ************************************************** From: HCCZ70D@prodigy.com (SARAH MERRITT) Subject: Some poems Date: Sat, 4 Apr 1998 hello... Many others of you have sent poetry to the list (and it was all very good,) so I decided to send some of mine. Comment if you like, don't feel obligated to read...enjoy. (I don't usually title my poems) sandy toes and dry throat I wander by the occasional mirage in the desert of this Life It's hot, it's hard, I cry no tears because my eyes lack water Life but whether you are real I see you feel you touch you within Life lies Oasis of You ------------------------- Fool they call me a child sometimes they see youth in my step and my face they see ancient soul in my eyes and my mind Questions don't answer me -------------------------- you ache like a painting of gray fruit black and white emotions is your pain sweet? maybe you are relieved to feel something after being numb so long --------------------- Childlike illusion of the world plagues my changing mind I withdraw the questions no one understands I command myself some days I extend myself until I end up feeling as alone as before so what's it matter? at least you get it I hope you do I don't want to live blind although ignorant might be a nice change from the wash of thoughts over my perfect painting that pervert the colors and create an unknown emotion --------------- If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading. I really like to see other people's stuff, so I guess there are probably people out there who find it interesting to read what I've written. Sarah ____ "don't forget to get perfect moments stuck in between your teeth." - Jewel ************************************************** From: Carole Bellamy Subject: "Life and You" Date: Sat, 4 Apr 1998 Hi thinkers! LIFE AND YOU by Shannon Bellamy My life seems meaningless, When I'm without you. Only when you're there, Do I feel complete. Whan you laugh, I laugh too. When you embrace me, I feel warm and safe. When you give me a soft kiss, My problems escape me. I feel needed, When you say "I Love You". But when you leave me, My life will seem worthless again, My days will be hard to endure, Until you come back into my Life, my heart and my arms. *dedicated to my Romeoman* Shannon the bleeding hearted angel xoxxo ************************************************** From: Lara Subject: "A Memory" Date: Sun, 5 Apr 1998 Hey guys... At the end of February my boyfriend of 10 months and I went through an abrupt break-up centering on his selfishness. For months he had apparently felt something coming on, but had never considered to mention this to me or talk it out. Instead the option he chose was to continually tell me things were just fine and I did not need to worry about "us" because that would always be just fine. I was really upset and I was thinking to myself what is the point of relationships? You build up this trust with this person and you have a tight friendship which occurs, usually to be broken off in an extremely upsetting manner causing you to deeply resent that person and wonder what reason that relationship ever wandered your way. As I was thinking I realized that what I needed to begin to try to do was to remember the people who walk in and out of my life more for the positive things we shared than for the pain they caused me. That does not mean I ever want to be friends with them again or even have anything to do with them. But just the ability to realize that we did have some good times and not block them from my mind. I wrote the following poem on that day helping me to close out my feelings towards him. We had our day We had our time We had it all And you threw it away I'll just close my eyes Remember your smile Your beautiful eyes And the things you would say That one perfect memory Is frozen in time Where things were so perfect And life was so kind But somehow time was not on out side Guess it was meant to end. Blot out today Confronted with truth You've shown the real you And how little you gave. I've broken away Distanced myself From the you I now see And the things you have said That one perfect memory Is frozen in time Where things were so perfect And life was so kind But somehow time was not on out side Guess it was meant to end. Guess it had to end. :) thanks guys Love, Lara larajean@gmx.de http://members.tripod.com/~laruth ******************************************************* S P E C I A L N O T I C E ! ! ! I am still in the process of adding a section of poetry of list members to the list's webpage. Just a reminder as to how it works... email me your favorite poem to lruth@usa.net - please do not mail it to the list addy. Let me know if you have a homepage and I will link to that from your poem (if not I will link to your email). Thanks! The starts of this should be up soon (I will let you guys know when)! ******************************************************* Everyday Thoughts -- http://surf.to/eda_thoughts to post -- send email to eda_thoughts@yahoo.com to unsubscribe, write eda_thoughts@yahoo.com with "remove" as the subject *******************************************************