For Suzy

Time 2 Go 2 Bed

. . . I was yawnin’ when I wrote this
Bear with me if I drift right off
But I stayed up last evening
So late to bear that it was rough
The sky was all orange
There were eyelids closing everywhere
Tryin to stick with the construction
But was so tired I didn’t care
cuz they say . . .
2000 zero zero party over
Oops it’s the end
So this mornin’ gonna party
Like its’s time to go to bed
I was yawnin’ when I wrote this
So slap me if I go too slow
But life is just a poopie
And poopies all stink you know
Sleep is all around us
My mind says prepare to fall
So if I’m gonna faint I’m gonna
Decide to give up on you all
cuz they say
2000 zero zero party over
Oops it’s the end
So this mornin’ gonna party
Like it’s time to go to bed
If you didn’t come to party
Then you can sleep here on the floor
Got some sheep here in mind pockets
And baby they’re beggin’ for more!
Everybody’s pretty dumb
So we’ll all fry any day
So until I let that happen
I’ll sleep my life away
cuz they say
2000 zero zero party over
Oops it’s the end
So this mornin’ gonna party
Like it’s time to go to bed
Mommy . . .
Why is everyone so very dumb?

(“copywrite” 10:25 a.m. friday january 1 1999. parody of "1999" by Prince released 1982 not used by permission.)

Silly Girl

Silly girl, you’re a silly girl
As silly as a pun
Dippy girl, you’re a dippy girl
As dippy as you know won
But he can’t help but see a patch
Of the brains that he can’t even match
With his face pressed up to your mass
He is Goo
Silly girl, you’re a silly girl
A silly girl that’s no lie
Dippy girl, you’re a dippy girl
Only when you won’t say why
And I’m sure you know it well,
As I’m sure you’re smart
But we just can’t tell
If it’s the truth or a brain fart
And he loves you, as you your cat
So let the truth roll through your place
Even if your underwear is on his face
You’ll swim the deepest sea of stories tall
So look down on floor underneath them
And I’m sure you know it well,
As I’m sure you’re sharp
But we just can’t tell
If this is right or if it’s warped
Don’t let your lips stretch and tie you up
Don’t forget to say, whatever
He’ll be there just sizeing you up
But know he will be yours forever
Even if you’re a silly dippy girl

(“copywrite” 10:49 p.m. sunday january 3 1999. parody of "Beautiful" by the Smashing Pumpkins released 1995 not used by permission.)

A Most Peculiar Ham

He was A Most Peculiar Ham
That’s what his mother said
And she should know;
She did give birth to him
She said he was A Most Peculiar Ham.
He was A Most Peculiar Ham
He lived as a clown without a lot
Of common sense, within his head
A Most Peculiar Ham.
He has some friends, who seldom speak
‘Cause no one ever can get a word in
‘Cause he was so boisterous
and he didn’t care
If they thought he was dumb
Oh yes! he was A Most Peculiar Ham.
He cried last Wednesday
He lifted the lid and he took a shit
With his legs open so he could see the stuff
From his working bowels
in this porcelyne bowl
And he stood and saw his turd
Was rather boring
With no reason to show it off
And then his girlfriend said,
“What a shame you’re brain dead,
But aren’t you a most peculiar ham?”

(“copywrite” 10:15 p.m. sunday january 3 1999. parody of "a Most Peculiar Man" by Simon & Garfunkel released in 1960s not used by permission.)

Everyone's Ugly (Birthday Reprise)

I look at all the ugly people
Just look at all the ugly people

Everyone's Ugly
Look like a turd from the womb of a south african spotted owl crossed with a spongecake
What does it mean
Look at yourself now
Wearing underoos you keep with a frog on the floor
What the hell is that for
All the ugly people
Where do they all come from
All the wretched people
Have any met your mum

Ronald McDonald
Demon from hell with a surmon of meat and good will
Who will he kill
Look at them munching
Filling their guts so they're fat where there's no longer hair
Those six foot pears
All the dumbshit people
Where do they all come from
All the ugly people
Why don't they all just die?

I look at all the ugly people
I might as well look right at Ringo

Everyone's Ugly
Die left and right 'cause they're dumb and they don't have a brain
Isn't it lame
Still too many left
I think genocide is the only way we can feel safe
So it's their fate
All the ugly people (I look at all the ugly people)
Where do they all come from
All the wretched people (Just look at all the ugly people)
It's time they all just died . . .

So say it's your birthday
Ain't my birthday too yet
Tonight it's your birthday
I hope you're fucking satisfied

("copywrite" 4:41 p.m. wednesday march 19 1997. parody of "Elenor Rigby" and "Birthday" by the Beatles not used by permission)

Cock So Good

So you want to see the
Dingaling
That he’s got
Well if you do
You will surely
See a lot
‘Cause his cock is bigger
Than any cock I know
It’s like sausage
It’s frightening
The way he wields it’s enlightening
Yes he got a cock, cock
So good
Colossal
Huge--huge--huge . . .
Colossal
Huge--huge--huge . . .
Woo!
This is not ficticious
It’s all true
No I can’t tell a lie
He got the winning ticket
It will put you in a trance
‘Cause his cock is bigger
Than any cock I know
His big wiener is frightening
Especially when it’s heightening
Yes he got a dick, prick, cock
So good
Colossal
Huge--huge--huge . . .
Colossal
Huge--huge--huge . . .
Woo!
Yes he got a cock so good
Yeah he got a cock so good
Yes he got a cock so big
Yeah he got a cock so huge
Yes he got a cock so good
Yeah he got a cock so good
Yes he got cock colossal
Yeah he got a cock--
Huge--huge--huge . . .
Colossal
Woo!
There’s no kidding
About it
You can’t get enough
‘Cause his Mr. Happy
It is the right fit
He’s so long it’s so far
But you sure get along
With that sausage
Enticing
The way he wields it’s a nice thing
Yes he got a cock, cock, cock--
So good!

(“copywrite” 8:03 p.m. monday january 4 1999. parody of “Knock On Wood” by Amii Stewart, released 1979 not used by permission)

For Suzy

Whenever you drink
Whenever you drank that smelly beer
It never seemed
You’d know to steer
The booze has taken hold
It leaves you feeling bold
And your tongue then unfolds . . .
If you have to puke
Don’t aim at me
If you’re gonna hurl
Don’t you heave
If you must spit up
Then I’ll just leave
One day I’m gonna slip
And then I’m gonna hurt my knee
But for Pepto Bismol
You’d act just like Bob Dole
Right hand in tight hold
Your ugly green goo slime
Was missing that sour lime
You puckered minutes five
Now you have to puke
Don’t aim at me
You regurgitate
Today’s candy
If you must upchuck
You’ll make me heave
One day I’m gonna barf
My own orange right into your green . . .
And for Pepto Bismol
I’d lick a frozen pole
If that’s pink stuff sold
And we are so forlorn
Bottles we adorn
Near porceline bowls . . .
If you have to puke
Don’t aim at me
If you have to spew
Try not to heave
If you must throw up
Just think of me
I’ll be standing with you
Until we both just puke our guts

(“copywrite” 7:42 p.m. monday january 4 1999. parody of “For Martha” by the Smashing Pumpkins, released 1998 not used by permission)

Suzanne

A child's charm
And mature compassion
Couldn't harm
The simplest creation
Innocence is wonder
In purity
The minuscule numbers
Of charity
Explode with inspiration in the presence
Of complexity in a little package
Dense with kindness and a pheasant's
Brilliantly colored outward magic
So shine on, shine on
'Cause darkness comes when the light is gone
And though the time has been short
This is just the beginning
Everything lay ahead
And your friends pray
You'll never change . . .

And who can almost always understand?
I can, Suzanne
Who can be one of your best friends?
I can, Suzanne

A bright star
And a rainbow of colors
Flow so far
From hardly any other
Integrity is union
In personality
There's so much more than one
Facet of a scheme
Enriched with the good of infinity
And a universe of vast discovery
Then come across parallel electricity
And decipher the cohesive energy
And shine on, shine on
'Cause everything dies when the spark is gone
And though the time has sometimes
Been less than perfect
That's just how it is
But everything lay ahead
And the good outweighs the bad . . .

So who can pull you out of life's pile of poo?
He can, Suzanne
Who can give you a lifetime of Goo?
He can, Suzanne

So take a picture, and draw reality
There's no conjecture of what is plain to see
Stay the same, never change
The sense of honor the sense of humor
All these creations deserve admiration . . .

Who can admire everything you do?
We can, Suzanne
Who can always be there for you?
We can, Suzanne

Individualistic
With silver sparkle lipstick
No embellishments
Of such intelligence
There are no words . . .
There are no words . . .
Running out of words . . .

Who can take a stand and stand out for miles?
You can, Suzanne
Who can charm the world with a little smile?
You can, Suzanne

Suzanne . . .
Such a good friend,
Suzanne

Who can make the world seem like brand new?
We all can, Suzanne
Who can start all over when we're all through?
We all can, Suzanne
Who can believe in everything and you too?
We all can, Suzanne
We all can, Suzanne
We all can . . .

("copywrite" 9:32 pm friday january 17 1997)




	selections from fruitcake / for suzy Time 2 Go 2 Bed . . . I was yawnin’ when I wrote this Bear with me if I drift right off But I stayed up last evening So late to bear that it was rough The sky was all orange There were eyelids closing everywhere Tryin to stick with the construction But was so tired I didn’t care cuz they say . . . 2000 zero zero party over Oops it’s the end So this mornin’ gonna party Like its’s time to go to bed I was yawnin’ when I wrote this So slap me if I go too slow But life is just a poopie And poopies all stink you know Sleep is all around us My mind says prepare to fall So if I’m gonna faint I’m gonna Decide to give up on you all cuz they say 2000 zero zero party over Oops it’s the end So this mornin’ gonna party Like it’s time to go to bed If you didn’t come to party Then you can sleep here on the floor Got some sheep here in mind pockets And baby they’re beggin’ for more! Everybody’s pretty dumb So we’ll all fry any day So until I let that happen I’ll sleep my life away cuz they say 2000 zero zero party over Oops it’s the end So this mornin’ gonna party Like it’s time to go to bed Mommy . . . Why is everyone so very dumb? (“copywrite” 10:25 a.m. friday january 1 1999. parody of "1999" by Prince released 1982 not used by permission.) Silly Girl Silly girl, you’re a silly girl As silly as a pun Dippy girl, you’re a dippy girl As dippy as you know won But he can’t help but see a patch Of the brains that he can’t even match With his face pressed up to your mass He is Goo Silly girl, you’re a silly girl A silly girl that’s no lie Dippy girl, you’re a dippy girl Only when you won’t say why And I’m sure you know it well, As I’m sure you’re smart But we just can’t tell If it’s the truth or a brain fart And he loves you, as you your cat So let the truth roll through your place Even if your underwear is on his face You’ll swim the deepest sea of stories tall So look down on floor underneath them And I’m sure you know it well, As I’m sure you’re sharp But we just can’t tell If this is right or if it’s warped Don’t let your lips stretch and tie you up Don’t forget to say, whatever He’ll be there just sizeing you up But know he will be yours forever Even if you’re a silly dippy girl (“copywrite” 10:49 p.m. sunday january 3 1999. parody of "Beautiful" by the Smashing Pumpkins released 1995 not used by permission.) A Most Peculiar Ham He was A Most Peculiar Ham That’s what his mother said And she should know; She did give birth to him She said he was A Most Peculiar Ham. He was A Most Peculiar Ham He lived as a clown without a lot Of common sense, within his head A Most Peculiar Ham. He has some friends, who seldom speak ‘Cause no one ever can get a word in ‘Cause he was so boisterous and he didn’t care If they thought he was dumb Oh yes! he was A Most Peculiar Ham. He cried last Wednesday He lifted the lid and he took a shit With his legs open so he could see the stuff From his working bowels in this porcelyne bowl And he stood and saw his turd Was rather boring With no reason to show it off And then his girlfriend said, “What a shame you’re brain dead, But aren’t you a most peculiar ham?” (“copywrite” 10:15 p.m. sunday january 3 1999. parody of "a Most Peculiar Man" by Simon & Garfunkel released in 1960s not used by permission.) Everyone's Ugly (Birthday Reprise) I look at all the ugly people Just look at all the ugly people Everyone's Ugly Look like a turd from the womb of a south african spotted owl crossed with a spongecake What does it mean Look at yourself now Wearing underoos you keep with a frog on the floor What the hell is that for All the ugly people Where do they all come from All the wretched people Have any met your mum Ronald McDonald Demon from hell with a surmon of meat and good will Who will he kill Look at them munching Filling their guts so they're fat where there's no longer hair Those six foot pears All the dumbshit people Where do they all come from All the ugly people Why don't they all just die? I look at all the ugly people I might as well look right at Ringo Everyone's Ugly Die left and right 'cause they're dumb and they don't have a brain Isn't it lame Still too many left I think genocide is the only way we can feel safe So it's their fate All the ugly people (I look at all the ugly people) Where do they all come from All the wretched people (Just look at all the ugly people) It's time they all just died . . . So say it's your birthday Ain't my birthday too yet Tonight it's your birthday I hope you're fucking satisfied ("copywrite" 4:41 p.m. wednesday march 19 1997. parody of "Elenor Rigby" and "Birthday" by the Beatles not used by permission) Cock So Good So you want to see the Dingaling That he’s got Well if you do You will surely See a lot ‘Cause his cock is bigger Than any cock I know It’s like sausage It’s frightening The way he wields it’s enlightening Yes he got a cock, cock So good Colossal Huge--huge--huge . . . Colossal Huge--huge--huge . . . Woo! This is not ficticious It’s all true No I can’t tell a lie He got the winning ticket It will put you in a trance ‘Cause his cock is bigger Than any cock I know His big wiener is frightening Especially when it’s heightening Yes he got a dick, prick, cock So good Colossal Huge--huge--huge . . . Colossal Huge--huge--huge . . . Woo! Yes he got a cock so good Yeah he got a cock so good Yes he got a cock so big Yeah he got a cock so huge Yes he got a cock so good Yeah he got a cock so good Yes he got cock colossal Yeah he got a cock-- Huge--huge--huge . . . Colossal Woo! There’s no kidding About it You can’t get enough ‘Cause his Mr. Happy It is the right fit He’s so long it’s so far But you sure get along With that sausage Enticing The way he wields it’s a nice thing Yes he got a cock, cock, cock-- So good! (“copywrite” 8:03 p.m. monday january 4 1999. parody of “Knock On Wood” by Amii Stewart, released 1979 not used by permission) For Suzy Whenever you drink Whenever you drank that smelly beer It never seemed You’d know to steer The booze has taken hold It leaves you feeling bold And your tongue then unfolds . . . If you have to puke Don’t aim at me If you’re gonna hurl Don’t you heave If you must spit up Then I’ll just leave One day I’m gonna slip And then I’m gonna hurt my knee But for Pepto Bismol You’d act just like Bob Dole Right hand in tight hold Your ugly green goo slime Was missing that sour lime You puckered minutes five Now you have to puke Don’t aim at me You regurgitate Today’s candy If you must upchuck You’ll make me heave One day I’m gonna barf My own orange right into your green . . . And for Pepto Bismol I’d lick a frozen pole If that’s pink stuff sold And we are so forlorn Bottles we adorn Near porceline bowls . . . If you have to puke Don’t aim at me If you have to spew Try not to heave If you must throw up Just think of me I’ll be standing with you Until we both just puke our guts (“copywrite” 7:42 p.m. monday january 4 1999. parody of “For Martha” by the Smashing Pumpkins, released 1998 not used by permission) Suzanne A child's charm And mature compassion Couldn't harm The simplest creation Innocence is wonder In purity The minuscule numbers Of charity Explode with inspiration in the presence Of complexity in a little package Dense with kindness and a pheasant's Brilliantly colored outward magic So shine on, shine on 'Cause darkness comes when the light is gone And though the time has been short This is just the beginning Everything lay ahead And your friends pray You'll never change . . . And who can almost always understand? I can, Suzanne Who can be one of your best friends? I can, Suzanne A bright star And a rainbow of colors Flow so far From hardly any other Integrity is union In personality There's so much more than one Facet of a scheme Enriched with the good of infinity And a universe of vast discovery Then come across parallel electricity And decipher the cohesive energy And shine on, shine on 'Cause everything dies when the spark is gone And though the time has sometimes Been less than perfect That's just how it is But everything lay ahead And the good outweighs the bad . . . So who can pull you out of life's pile of poo? He can, Suzanne Who can give you a lifetime of Goo? He can, Suzanne So take a picture, and draw reality There's no conjecture of what is plain to see Stay the same, never change The sense of honor the sense of humor All these creations deserve admiration . . . Who can admire everything you do? We can, Suzanne Who can always be there for you? We can, Suzanne Individualistic With silver sparkle lipstick No embellishments Of such intelligence There are no words . . . There are no words . . . Running out of words . . . Who can take a stand and stand out for miles? You can, Suzanne Who can charm the world with a little smile? You can, Suzanne Suzanne . . . Such a good friend, Suzanne Who can make the world seem like brand new? We all can, Suzanne Who can start all over when we're all through? We all can, Suzanne Who can believe in everything and you too? We all can, Suzanne We all can, Suzanne We all can . . . ("copywrite" 9:32 pm friday january 17 1997)