Feelings? (Part One)
Disclaimer - I do not own any of these characters, just borrowing them for this fanfics sake. Please don't sue me, I've no intention of owning profits out of it just writing it for fun.
~If you want to be loved,love and be lovable~
Benjamin Franklin
There's something peculiar about tonight. Supposedly at this hour they would be scattering all over the house but not tonight !I doubt that they're at home right now or there wouldn't exist such quietness. The air seemed colder somehow or is it me? Where is Sage anyhow? Where's everyone? Where did they all go, leaving me like this alone!...'sigh'...They should have left a note or something. Now what am I gonna do? Ask the police to search for four missing person coz' they didn't leave me a 'note'? Yeah right!...'smirk'...They should at least warn me earlier about this!
"Sage! Sai?!....Kento?! Ryo..where are you guys?" I blurted out.
"C'mon ya' guys this ain't a game!" still there was no answer.
"Guys! It's me Rowen!"
This is weird and starting to get creepy. I'm here,alone with no one but my shadow to accompany me! I hate that. I remembered them telling me that they'll wait for me here until I'm back from the bookstore and then we'll go to the movies together. Or is it just my imagination?! What is going on here! Oh,bother! They must have gone to the movies without me then! No point in arguing, my fault! I'm late nonetheless. Maybe I should take a bath and worry about them later. I'm pretty tired anyway, all my muscles ache.
"S.A.G.E...what's wrong with that name?" I whispered to myself and at the same time twirling my blue locks in my hand. It kinda feels sensuous, having me standing like this with the thought of Sage lingering in my head.
Damn! Frankly I feel it would have been better if only Sage were here. Just him alone. What is so special about him that made my heart jump anyway? I don't really understand this longing feelings I'm enduring lately. What is it that I'm trying to find? The feelings of joy and a little apprehensive whenever he's around. The thought of him resting his head on my shoulder and placing tiny kisses on my cheek with his strong hands around my waist. This is nuts. Maybe I work too hard recently. Yeah! that's it. But no! Everything about him, the way he looks, his voice though he rarely speaks and the hidden emotion he possess are all over me. Sage this , Sage that, Sage everywhere I go and even in my dreams.
"Damn,what is this! I dun want it...someone please help me!" aiming it to no one in particular.
I can't live like this with the thought of Sage constantly in my mind. Now I know even a genius suffers but am I really a 'genius' to deserve such burden. This matter is really getting in my way lately. How can I ever face him again like this. I'm pathetic. All of this started right after Sage saved me from drowning the other day. He don't like to get wet apparently like me and for that he made himself comfortable just laying under the sun while the other especially Sai dragged me to come and swim with em' so I did. How am I to say 'no' with all the pulling and stuff. The worst part is, I don't even know how to swim and Sai said he's going to teach me whether I like it or not coz' he said nobody wants to save my ass' when one of these unfortunate days I drown myself. Like as if I'm going to swim by myself. No I dun' think so...'grin'...I spoke to soon I guess. Ryo and Kento simultaneously pushed me from behind, into the damn cold water without any warning at all. I was rather shocked back then. Once in the water I struggled for anyone to help me. I saw Sai rushing towards me out of the corner of my eyes. There was salt in my mouth but thank god Sai was on time before the sea devours me.
Well I guess swimming aren't that bad after all. I'm a fast learner. After half an hour or so they decided it's time to get a move on. Gradually Kento,Ryo,Sai and followed by me walked back ashore, splashing water and raced each other on the way. Soon Sage packed all his stuff and followed us from behind. That day before we left,Kento with his mouth full of sandwiches suggested that we take a last look of the sea. Sage wasn't into it so he stayed leaning against the car watching us hiked a pile of huge rocks just by the edge of the sea. It was at least 20 feet off the ground.
It was a good view but somehow that was when it happened, we were all walking in fast movements and suddenly I slipped and guess what! I ended up in the water again all wet, unconscious and before I knew it there was a pair of strong hands encircling my waist. Initially I really don't know who it was just assumed it was Sai or maybe the others. I felt warm all over my back and that was when I figured out it was Sage who saved me. Strange, he never liked water. Why did he even care to saved me when he knows that the others can do it. He really puzzled me on that day. He then carried my body effortlessly and placed me on the ground. I managed to opened my eyes slightly and if my eyes doesn't deceived me, I swear I saw a gleam of concerned crossed his perfect feature. I saw his lips forming incoherent words, something like.' are you okey?! 'Then I fainted again. Heh! What an opportunity. That was when it all began. Always finding a chance to search that lost emotion of his.
"Sage, why did you do it?"
"Rowen?..."somewhere from behind me came a faint voice.
I didn't expected anyone to be home that early, I quickly swing myself to look at the figure only to find Sage standing in the dark with his hands tangle above his chest with the usual looks on his face. I'm speechless and took me a while before answering back.
"Sage? How long have you been there?" I asked, looking at him intently. I have no idea he looks so...so, handsome? what am I even thinking. Stop that Rowen! Bad boy.
"Long enough to figure out it's you standing there!" He said rather sarcastically
Damn! At this state I blush furiously unable to utter a single word. What's with me! He don't even like me then again he don't like any of us. Have I lost my mind, stop that Rowen! You're killing yourself. Speak something, anything at all so as not to make him uncomfortable.
"Uh...Sage, where's everyone?" what am I supposed to say? 'I love you Sage?' I can feel my heart beats rapidly inside of me, it's going to burst if I don't do something really quick.
"They went to the movies," Staring directly into my eyes, he's stabbing me!
"Why aren't you with them?"
Turning his back to me and ready to step out of my room,"Not interested..."
That's typical of him, and at this point my whole body is shaking. The way he looked at me when he talked sent shivers down my spine. Oh boy! I can't barely stand. I feel like grabbing him right now, here in my doorway. The other night I dreamt about us being together in the same bed, Intertwined with my head on top of his chest and my legs covered his. Pinching his nipples with one hand and twirling his hair with the other. We kissed, touched and the problem is I liked it. How can this be. I'm confused with all of this. I don't think I can stand it anymore. It's to heavy for me to endure alone, I need someone to comfort me, embrace me and tell me it's all gonna be alright! That 'someone' definitely not going to be a gal.
"Sage!!" Abruptly I called his name.
He stop on the track, without even looking at me he just cast his head to the side,"What is it?"
"I...I have something to tell you," There, I've said it. Now what?!
Slowly he brings himself to face me and again look me dead in the eyes. He made me flinch just by looking and I'm thinking of revealing my deepest secret to him. I can't really look at him, he sometimes intimidates me. I don't know whether he realize it or not but I'm not going to give up because of that. He's kindda sexy staring at me like that, bet he doesn't know that either. Eventually I manage to gather my guts and start covering the space between us. Whaddaya know, we're confronting each other, face to face and I can actually feel his slow breathing against my bare flesh. He's an inch taller than I am,I have to look up to meet his eyes.
"Sage...I've been wanting to tell you somethin'...I...
"Rowen!!....oh.hi, Sage! Wacha guys been up too?" What perfect timing.
Both me and Sage turn to look where the voice came from. Oh boy! Saved by 'Sai' I guess! Why is it so difficult. I finally got a chance to be alone with Sage and right after Sai interrupted our private conversation the guys came running in. One brief look at Sage face and that's it,all my guts disappear. I place my hand at the back of my head and just grin at him, sending him signal to just forget about the whole thing.
"Hi Sai...how was the movies and why didn't ya' all wait for me!" I pouted.
"Aww...Rowen we're sorry! You were late!" Kento voiced out from where he's sitting.
"Yeah...and Sage agreed to wait for ya' here till' we get back,"Sai cut in.
"Good for me...'sigh'...I was about to call the police if Sage didn't show up," I glared at them and eventually we broke into laughter.
"uh...where's Ryo? I thought he's with you two?"
"Yup...he was!" Kento said between eating.
"Was?"I asked.
"He's with Mia ! I wonder what're they doing right now?"Sai said somewhat in amusement.
"Really?! Heh...It's almost midnight and it's cold, I think they're up to something 'hot'?," I suggested. We exchange looks, smirk at each other and finally gave in.
"huarghhh...I think I'm gonna have some shuteye," Groggily and still munching, Kento force himself to get up and walk towards the bedroom.
"I think that goes for me to...g'nite Rowen,"Sai followed from behind and almost nock himself to sleep when Kento slammed the door right at his face.
"Yeah g'nite," I giggled.
As soon as the door closed,I place both my feet on the table. I've some thinking to do anyway. Oh yeah! I forgot,my diary.I can't sleep,the best thing I can come out with is to write all my feelings in it. Who knows, maybe it'll help me forget. For the last few days or to be precise since the incident occured, I never did find any blank spaces in my so called 'diary'. Each and every piece of it fill with words and as far as I'm concern the word 'Sage' is in every page. Darn it, he's everywhere!
-------------------------------------------------
I woke up to a ruffling sound coming from the kitchen, must be Kento. He's always hungry. l must have slept while writting my diary. what time is it anyway? Sitting bolt up right, I run my hands through my blue locks , groggyly arverting my eyes in search of the clock. Where is it anyway? It's still dark though,so I figure it's not morning yet. I was about to push myself up from where I am but suddenly the light's on and out of consternation I slump back on the couch,wide awake. My jaw drops when the image of Kento is replace by SAGE? I must have looked like an idiot coz' after an eternity of awkward silence or so I thought Sage startle me with his deep voice.
"Rowen...?"
"Uh...Sage? W..wacha doin' up at this hour?"
"What bout you?" he asked back. There seem to be a slight grin on his lips.
"I've... work to do" Looking at other places beside him.
My hands are busy gathering all the scattering stuff on the table so as not to be seen. Waitta minute! Where is the book, where's my diary? Think again Rowen,where did you put it? I remember vividly after jotting those few lines, and then I'm out of ideas, and after that I did place it on the table. Did it actually run away? Nonsense. I'm starting to grow apprehensive, lots of crazy thoughts cross my mind. What if someone reads it? I'm starting to sweat.
"Ro...you okey?" He must have suspected something coz he sounded concern. He sure does show alot of emotions at night, weird. Where's the cold, unreadable mask he usually have?
"Yeah am fine, say ...have you seen.."
"This?" Shoving his strong arm in front giving me a perfect view of what he's holding. I just stare at it for a moment. I can't believe my eyes, it's my diary.
"......." I was dumbfounded unable to think straight, did he actually read that thing.
If he did I'm doomed. What am I to do, he'll resent me for it. Trust, friendship all will be put to an end just because of those written words. Tears starting to form in my eyes, blurring my vision. I don't know how to react , it's just natural that I felt all guilty inside.
"Sage...I..I.." I was lost for words.
"Shhh...it's alright, if it wasn't for this, I wouldn't know." I can't believe my ears, he's actually okay with this. Does that means he has unspoken feelings towards me too?
"Rowen, I've been waiting for this moment for so long. I've been trying to figure out ways to spill it out but every time I tried, there was always things blocking our way. It hurts me more then anything in the world for not having the guts to tell. I'm afraid to lose you as friend, Rowen." He said it.!
"Sage..." I want to weep, to run to be anywhere but here .I can't contain myself and fixed my gaze to the feet, biting my lips.
"Hush baby...I know how you feel," Dropping to his knees in front of me, he just looked at me with that soulful eyes, gently caressing the back of his hands on my cheek and the other was place on my knee. His touch was tender and it did evoke certain feelings inside of me, feelings I'm not familiar with, tranquillity or is it...love? That one touch proved everything he is to me. All doubts vanished.
"Sage..." I tilted my head, my eyes still watery. I push myself forward, filling the gap between us, no words needed and eventually our lips locked. He guided his strong hands to rest on my body, holding me in a tight embrace. For the first time in years, I felt safe and close to someone and not just someone, It's Sage! How I long for his company, worth the wait I guess. The kiss lasted for a few seconds and then Sage trails those tender kisses down to my chest, nibbling my nipple with his tongue and the other one with his hand. I moaned, ruffling my hands through his hair, mumbling incoherent words. I was in heaven. He then snake his hand to the small of my back down to my firm buttocks. I jumped a little. Slowly he push me back onto the couch and held me captive with him sitting on top of me. Both my hands are within his grip, there is no escape.
"Uh..Sage..,"I manage to say between kisses.
"Yeah?"
"I think...,"moan
"What's that...hmm...love?"
"I think I Love you!" Then he kiss me.
to be continue...
:::Eccentricity:::Fanfics:::Feelings 2:::
Animes Characters ©1999 their respective rights holders, none of it is mine. Written stuff, graphics, fan arts and animation©1999 Luv Angel. This fan site is purely for entertainment purposes only, and in no way is it intended to make a profit.
ångel§™