okee, in a very small jungle in a very large land there lived a gerl.
her name was Ummm (thank you circe). and there walso was an elephant named
eunice. they lived under a big bayobob tree (like the little prince) and Ummm
always had to clean up the leaves and rake the dirrt and water the flowers and
garden and tidy up and eunice never helped. one day Ummm was mulching the garden
and a tiny ladybugg came and landed on her shoulder "my name is baybee and you
are working to hard, go sit and rest" "i cant" Ummm replied short of breath, "if
eunice somes home and finds me notb working my azz off he will fer sure be mad,
yup' "you cant live in fear" said baybee "you need a life too, you cannot be
controlled, you are a big gerl, act like one, here i give you these boots" and
majically sum boots appeared in front of Ummm, sum big kik azz azz kikin' boots.
"how *gasp* did you do that" demanded Umm. "you see my dear, i am a majic
ladybugg, i am your great grandmother reincarnated, i was sent here to watch ove
r yo and avoid your exploitation" "oh..." said Umm. "take these boots, wear them
and when the time comes to use them go at it gerl with all yr strength" and with
taht *poof* baybee was gone. so Ummm finished mulching the garden. eunice came
home that nite after a bad say at the banana slicing factory and was in an extra
speshully pissy mood. well, the cake Umm had been baking didnt quite turn out
all good and eunice got mad and yelled, she yelled back, then he hit her wiv his
trunk and called her a dum gerl, she was very sad and remembered the boots, she
ran and put them on, then later when eunice was mean again she simply kicked him
and he flew to the moon and she collected his life insurance checks and hired a
gardener and bakera nd lived happily ever after (sorry this story sucked)