PART 8: (teaser)

Sephiroth found Cloud standing alone on the deck of the Highwind. As he stared out at the night sky, Cloud spoke in a calm, perfectly conversational tone.

"Do you have any idea how much I want to LOATHE you?"

The flare of pain Sephiroth felt at Cloud's soft, even words was a bit shocking. Intellectually, he had been prepared, but to hear the words spoke aloud and in such a matter-of-fact way.... Anger and rage would have been easier to deal with. But the eerie, almost fatalistic calmness in Cloud's voice only made things so much worse.

When Sephiroth remained silent, Cloud glanced over at him, then jerkily turned away.

"I wish you wouldn't do that."

"Do what?" Sephiroth said.

"Look like that. I wish you wouldn't look like you had feelings. I wish you wouldn't look like you care. Like it actually bothers you to know how I feel about you."

Sephiroth blinked, then said coldly, with a brittle undertone in his voice. "You mean, stop acting like a human being?"

"You ARE human! Will you STOP that?" Cloud snapped reflexively. The words came out of his mouth without conscious thought.

"Isn't that rather inconsistent of you? Would you prefer that I be a human being, with feelings and emotions, or do you want me to be an cold, inhuman monster?" retorted Sephiroth.

"I...." Cloud's voice trailed away. Closing his eyes, almost as if in pain, he whispered, "I really don't know...."

Cloud reluctantly turned back toward the silver-haired man beside him. To any other person, Sephiroth would have been the very definition of inscrutability and indifference, but Cloud knew better. It was as if he could see right through the icy facade, directly to the inner self that Sephiroth tried so hard to hide from view. He could sense the pain and the anguish simmering deep below Sephiroth's surface. He wished he couldn't see it. And if he had to aware of its existence, he wished he could ignore it.

But he couldn't.

"Damn it," Cloud glanced away and whispered dully, "How can you do this to me...? Why can't I make it stop...?"

Sephiroth remained silent. The two of them stood side by side, staring out into the darkness for a long while. Finally, the silver-haired man said softly, "Given our past history, I can't possibly expect you to believe anything I tell you. But I will say it anyway." He took a deep breath. "The last thing I want to do is to cause you any more pain... Cloud."

Cloud closed his eyes, then whispered. "You're right. You can't expect me to believe you. But do you know what the truly sickening and pathetic thing is? I DO believe you. Even with all that's happened between us... all the things you've done to me... I can't make myself believe that you're lying when you say that. What kind of fool do you think that makes me!?"

"You and I are tied together on many levels, Cloud. It's best you come to accept that. Don't keep fighting it. You're going to tear yourself apart, otherwise."

"So you're saying that I have no choice but to be an extension of the great Sephiroth? To be nothing more than your shadow?"

"You're much more than that. All you have to do is... remember the truth."

"That's easy for you to say. To remember...," Cloud murmured.

"I am intimately familiar with the feeling of not having any control over one's life and one's self. I find no joy or desire to inflict that feeling on others unless absolutely necessary."

Cloud was silent, then said, "You do know what's happening to me, don't you?"

Sephiroth said quietly, "I think... that you're waking up. In more ways than one." He sighed impatiently. "If it will make things easier for you, then go ahead and think of me as a soulless monstrosity who happens to be a temporary ally."

"If you told me that a few days ago, that would have been SO easy. But I can't do that now!" In a faint whisper, Cloud added, "I... know you too well... I know how it...." He tried to choke back the last few words. They left him terribly vulnerable and exposed a weak spot that Sephiroth could so easily exploit or attack. But the words came out anyway.

"Damn it, I know how it... hurts... you when people treat you that way," Cloud whispered.

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In one dark corner of his head, hatred seethed. In another distant corner, a part of him gibbered in terror and fear. But those voices were the faintest of echoes, easily lost amid the storm of Cloud's thoughts and emotions.

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Surprisingly, Sephiroth didn't sneer in contempt or try to laugh Cloud's words off. His only response was a cryptic, "You always did know me too well...."

To Cloud, the words seemed oddly unfinished, as if Sephiroth wanted to say something more, but thought better of it.

"Cloud, when I...."

He cut off Sephiroth's words with a sharp shake of his head. "That wasn't you... the real you."

"But still, when I...."

"When insane, people often do... terrible, horrible things."

Sephiroth chuckled darkly. "Don't tell me that insanity conveniently absolves me of all responsibility for what I've done. I know that Lockheart and Barret certainly wouldn't agree with you."

Cloud turned to face Sephiroth. "No, but they don't understand. They've never walked the razor-sharp edge between sanity and madness. Out of all of my companions, perhaps only Vincent does.

"Insanity isn't always an excuse. You can be insane and still be responsible for crimes and sins committed. Hojo's crazy all right, but he's also as responsible as hell for all the atrocities he's committed -- he knows exactly what he's doing and he consciously chooses to do it. But when the insanity takes away your ability to know what's wrong or right... in that case, when a person doesn't have a choice, how can he really be responsible for their actions?"

Sephiroth quietly said, "You sound like you've thought about this particular topic a great deal."

"Locked up as Hojo's pet experimental rat for nearly five years... oh, I had plenty of time to think things through. And I'm not saying that you're entirely blameless in this whole mess. There were decisions and mistakes that you made... ones that Hojo and Gast made... ones that *everyone* made... You're not solely responsible for every single death or tragedy that occurred."

If Sephiroth closed his eyes, he could almost imagine that he was actually talking to Zack... but in a way, he was exactly what he was doing. How often had they stood, side by side in the darkness, discussing things that neither of them would ever mention to another living soul? Speaking quietly so not as to break Zack's... no, Cloud's contemplative mood, Sephiroth said, "What sorts of mistakes?"

With a vague gesture, Cloud murmured, "Oh... Yours, for not trusting in other people's feelings for you and buying into Jenova's lies. Gast's, for thinking he could experiment with a completely alien creature without serious consequences and for allowing someone as unstable as Hojo involved. Lucrecia's, for believing Hojo's lies. Vincent's, for not doing more to stop the woman he loved from making such an obvious mistake. And that poor blond-haired kid, for letting himself be consumed by bitterness and hatred because he wanted so much to belong and *BE* someone important...."

Sephiroth struggled to suppress a smile. Oh, that was Zack, all right... the man could tell the most outrageous lies without batting an eyelash, but he was also talk about the most sensitive and uncomfortable things with that unflinching, almost frightening candor....

Aloud, the silver-haired man murmured, "And what about you? Did you make any mistakes?"

Cloud sighed and said wearily, "Oh, I made plenty of them. My mistakes were leaving you alone at the wrong time... not being there when you really needed me... not doing enough about your feelings of isolation and loneliness...."

Sephiroth thought, (Zack, those weren't your mistakes. You were the best teacher I had. You showed me that it wasn't wrong or weak to have feelings. You showed me time and time again that you cared about me... that humanity -- or at least certain members of humanity -- had *some* redeeming features. It's not your fault that the idiot student refuses to learn. It's not your fault that it was *I* who couldn't quite believe that anyone normal COULD care about someone like me. You gave me all you had -- no one could have done any more. You gave me something infinitely precious. It wasn't your fault that *I* didn't value it properly. I threw it all away for an alien bitch's twisted lies and delusions of godhood....)

Who knows what more might have been said, but a sharp female voice abruptly intruded.

"Cloud!" Tifa shouted in a tense voice.

With a wistful pang, Sephiroth felt Zack's presence fade, subsiding back to the depths of Cloud's subconscious.

Cloud blinked, then turned with a surprised look on his face.

"What is it?"

Tifa glared suspiciously at Sephiroth, who gave her a cool arrogant look in return.

"I've been looking for you all over the ship," she said, her mouth set in a thin-lipped frown.

Cloud gave Sephiroth a half-curious, half-irritated look, but it was unclear just who he was apparently irritated with. He turned back to Tifa and asked calmly, "So what's up?"

"I... well... it was...." She abruptly flushed and appeared to be at a total loss for words.

Sephiroth suppressed a smirk of amusement. (You've got jealousy written all over you, Lockheart.) He could almost see her wracking her brains for some sort of plausible excuse.

"Tifa?" Cloud patiently asked.

Fortunately for the young woman, Cait Sith and his Mog bounced up behind her and said in his squeaky voice, "I've just got reports of another WEAPON, but the picture quality is pretty wretched. I'm not sure whether it's just a new variant of Ultimate WEAPON or something entirely new. I was wondering if you'd take a look at the video down in the conference room."

"Sure." Cloud pushed himself away from the railing and headed below decks. "Tifa?"

"Be right down there," she said with a weak smile.

Once Cloud had left, Tifa stalked fearlessly up to Sephiroth and snarled, "I don't know what the hell you're up to, Sephiroth, but if you think you're going to...!"

"To do what?" Sephiroth said with a mocking smile. "What a delightfully suspicious mind you've got, Lockheart. There we were, two grown men having a perfectly innocent conversation and you come charging up like some deranged chaperone hellbent on defending some debutante's virtue." He chuckled maliciously.

Tifa turned even redder -- this time, with fury -- but before she could do anything impulsive, Cait Sith's Mog grabbed her arm. The little cat said hastily, "Tifa, don't let him provoke you into doing something stupid! Why don't you join Cloud? I'll keep an eye on him, okay?"

She shook herself loose and tossed her long, dark hair back.

"Fine. You do that, Cait."

Cait Sith watched as she stalked angrily away, then turned back to Sephiroth. The little cat scowled and squeakily growled, "Was that really necessary?"

Sephiroth shrugged nonchalantly. "Probably not. But I find her unrelenting hostility and self-righteousness rather annoying."

"You can't say that she doesn't have a basis for worrying. Considering what you've done to Cloud before...." The little robot folded its arms and said very quietly, "Does she have a reason to worry about Cloud's... er, virtue?"

Cait Sith found Sephiroth's utter lack of reaction very interesting....

....interesting and disturbing.

Finally, the former Shinra general said very quietly, "Reeve, have you taken a look at Cloud Strife's personnel records?" Observing the little cat's twitch, he said, "Oh, don't be surprised. Usually, your friends are quite good about calling you 'Cait Sith', but in all the recent excitement, they've let your true identity slip once or twice."

Cait Sith shook its head ruefully. "I see." The cat abruptly sobered. "Why do you ask about his personnel records?"

"You've seen it, haven't you?"

The little robot didn't respond.

Sephiroth stalked forward impatiently. "Then you have to know that the Cloud Strife described in the Shinra records couldn't have possibly done what THIS Cloud has."

"People can change a lot in five years," Cait Sith blandly replied.

Sephiroth countered with a cold smile. "Certainly... but I seriously doubt that he would have had much opportunity to emotionally mature and develop new skills locked up in Hojo's lab." He shook his head slightly. "No, I take that back. I suppose with Hojo's meddling, nearly anything is possible."

Cait Sith finally said, "What's really bothering you is that Cloud's changed behavior and his new skills seem uncomfortably familiar to you."

When Sephiroth gave him an icy glare, the robot cat coolly stared at its paw and casually said, "I took a look at Zackery Faelan's file as well."

Cait Sith dropped his nonchalant pose and said evenly, "I'm not an idiot. That trick with the ice and wind spells back at the weapons plant couldn't have been carried off without precise split-second timing and lots of practice. I'll willing to bet that if I asked some of the remaining SOLDIERs, they probably would have seen you and Zack do something like that before."

"You mean you don't subscribe to Lockheart's theory that I'm just waiting for the perfect opportunity to mess with Cloud's mind? After all, from what all of you have told me, he was responsible for killing me the last time round. What makes you think that I'm NOT plotting some horrible sort of revenge?" Cait Sith's Mog rocked back and forth for a moment before saying, "Because you're not the monster we faced in the Northern Crater. And if we want to assign blame for killing people, I'd like to remind you that it was YOU who originally went berserk and started killing people at Nibelheim."

Sephiroth had a flash of memory... Masemune sliding effortlessly through Zack's flesh....

Cait Sith continued, "Out of all these guys, I'm probably the only one who know just how close you and Zack were. Call me a gambling man, but I'm willing to bet that you're not willing to destroy this last remaining memento of your best friend."

"You could be completely wrong, you know. It could be that I see Cloud as just a pathetic, flawed copy of a close friend. That would be even more motivation for me to get rid of him," Sephiroth snapped.

Cait Sith pushed back his hat and said evenly, "Ah, but what if he's NOT just a poor imitation? What if he's as close to the real thing as could possibly be without Zack actually standing right here in front of us?"

"What are you saying? That Cloud's really...."

"No. As far as I know, Zackery Faelan really is dead. The DNA of a skeleton we found south of Midgar exactly matches the DNA profile from Zack's medical records."

"And Cloud?"

Cait Sith chewed on its lower lip. "Cloud's DNA... substantially matches the profile in *his* medical records."

"Substantially?" Sephiroth said with an raised eyebrow.

"There are certain anomalies, of course, but I've been told that those variations can be reasonably explained by the SOLDIER conversion process or something comparable."

"Who told you that?"

"Doctor Savois. Perhaps you remember her."

With a tight smile, Sephiroth said, "Oh yes. I remember her quite well."

"So as far as we know, your friend Zack is definitely dead and the Cloud on this ship is the same Cloud Strife that joined Shinra about eight years ago."

"Physically, that is."

Cait Sith nodded quietly.