Fna Super Summer Special
Justice Wears a Bikini
Rai-chan’s Fna Super Summer Special Justice Wears a Bikini I think just the title alone should be enough to make you go "oro?" Yes, tis I, Rai-chan. And boy, am I BORED. *sigh* But since I have a job to go to tomorrow, I figured I’d better write this today. For you see, I have thought of many plots to use for this amazing little story, and I finally settled back on my "Every-Anime- Needs-A-Swimsuit-Scene" event. Just to give you an idea of what’s to come, I’ve altered Heta-chan’s collectible Star Wars* cans to act out a little summary...*inspirational voice* A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... (Heta and Sammy on cans) Hurry Heta, we have to save Rai-chan! (several other unrelated cans) Wesa the Rebels friends, come for comic relief! (a can used as a spaceship) Emergency landing on a beach near Tokyo... (Mini-Chi can) *high pitched voice* Zooommm! Pod-racing is WICKED! *high-pitched voice, tear rolling down her cheek* I love you, Sammy... *deeper voice* I love you, Rai-chan... *makes out with can* *scary voice* Oh no, it’s Darth One-Liner! (two cans duke it out) *scary voice* My brains are spilling out!! *shakes the contents out of Darth can* Oh joy! The end. *takes a bow* Hehehe... Goodness! And, by the way, this story does not take place ANYWHERE in the Fna timeline. Kinda like the Sailor Moon movies. In fact, there will BE some Sailor Moon in here! Wonders never cease. *Heta’s Star Wars collectible cans © 1999 Heta-chan. The author does not claim rights to the cans nor does she claim for the cans to actually be hers. No Star Wars collectible cans were harmed in the making of this summary. Except for maybe the Jar-Jar one. o_0 The Story "No one can be told, what the Matrix is," Morpheus said seriously, making a triangle with his hands. "You have to see it, for yourself." Heta nodded in complete comprehension. "It’s the blue pill," he said, opening one hand to reveal a small cerulean gel capsule. "Or the red pill." Heta eyed both pills warily. ‘Which one will it be?’ She asked herself. However, she already knew the answer. "Take the blue pill, you wake up in your bed, believe what you want to believe. Taake thheee reeeeddd piiiiillllllll..." The image of Morpheus distorted, and suddenly disappeared. Heta stared in shock at the white screen in front of her. "What gives?!" She shouted, standing up quickly and dumping her popcorn everywhere. "I’ve only seen this movie 24 times!! Who dares interrupt it??" A man in a sharp suit and sunglasses entered the dimly lit theater. Heta’s eyes widened in surprise. "It seems you have been living two lives, Ms. Heta-chan," he said slowly. "Scheist!" She screamed, and made a run for the other end of the theater. The man behind her burst into laughter. "I got you real good, Heta-baby!" Heta peered over the top of the chair she was cowering behind. "That’s NOT funny!" She snapped. She waited for his laughter to die down. "I hope you didn’t stop the movie just to scare the... the... well, frighten me." Gadge shook his head, and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Nah, Sammy-chan wants to talk to you. She says it’s, ‘important.’" He made quotation marks with his fingers. Heta frowned. It would have to be important for her to interrupt "The Matrix." Sammy practically jumped on Heta as soon as she emerged from the Rebels’ underground theater. "Where’s Rai-chan??" She asked frantically. "What are you talking about?" Heta pushed her off. "She’s at the computer boogying down to my .mp3 songs." Mini-Chi wailed. "No she’s not!!" Caluna appeared at Sammy’s feet. ‘We ran a whole diagnostic check of all the rooms in the hideout, and I telepathically scanned as far as I could,’ she told Heta. 'Nothing.’ Heta frowned. "Well..." She looked back at the theater wistfully. "I guess we should go look for her then." "Yay!" Everyone present jumped up and down. "Something to do!" Summer, so far, had been extremely boring. Even a crisis like the leader of their team going missing was viewed as a blessing. "Warm up the jet," Heta said. Everyone stopped jumping. Sammy grew a chibi lion tail in her confusion. "We... we have a jet?" Heta nodded slowly, as if it were an obvious fact. Finally realizing that no one had known that they ever owned a jet, she sighed and led the way to the hangar. o_0 Rai sighed irritably, not bothering to strain against the cords tying her to a simple chair. "I suppose you think this is going to work." "Of, course." The ugly, froglike creature in front of her stated. He sounded like he belonged in a dubbed Japanese monster movie. And his words didn’t match his lips, either. "When they find out, that their, leader, is missing, they will not fail to try and, rescue you." Rai rolled her eyes to the ceiling and made a rude noise. "Well, excuse me, Viceroy, but you forgot a little something." The Viceroy’s eyes flashed. "What could I have, possibly, forgotten?" The girl grinned sadistically as a large aura of electricity enveloped her, snapping the cords restraining her... o_0 "Caluna, try another telepathic sweep while we use the scanners to try and pick her up," Heta instructed. Sammy placed herself in the pilot seat, and look helplessly at the large console of buttons. "How do we turn this thing on?" She asked, confused. Heta leaned over, and turned the key in the jet’s ignition. "Oh." Sammy grinned brightly, and grabbed the controls. Ryoga sat down in the copilot seat, and flicked many switches. "Jet engines are running, ailerons, spoilers, rudder, elevator, and fin are operational, inertial navigation system online, microwave landing system..." Heta almost fell over. Sammy looked over at him in awe. "Where’d you learn so much about airplanes??" He shrugged nonchalantly. "Microsoft Flight Simulator." The blue-haired and blue-faced Heta quickly recovered. "Forward, then! To Rai-chan!!" The jet zoomed forward. Heta gripped the back of Sammy’s seat to keep from being thrown backwards. Gadget Boy grabbed her shoulders. Mini-Chi grabbed his ankles. Caluna flew to the back of the cabin and was knocked silly. "Wahaha!" Sammy laughed maniacally, wrestling with the controls. "I should fly this thing more often!!" Heta pointed at the console. "Turn on all radio channels in case she tries to contact us!" Ryoga obliged. "Where exactly are we going?" Mini-Chi asked, coming up to stand next to her bigger version. "Well..." Heta screwed up her face in thought. "I don’t know. This just sounded like a good idea at the time." Everyone grimaced. "Good one, Heta-baby," Gadget said in her ear. Heta looked at her android. He still had a death-grip on her shoulders. "Will you let go of me??" She yelled, and pushed him away. The radio crackled. "What’s that?" Sammy asked, not taking her eyes off the sky in front of her. Caluna seemed to have regained full consciousness. ‘Rai-chan is close by,’ she meowed. Mini-Chi fiddled with the knobs of the radio. "Kssschh," it said. "Something’s definitely using our channel," Heta said, and turned the knobs herself. "Kssschh-chan, come in, kssschh." "Aha!" Heta flicked another switch. "Is that you, Rai-chan?" She asked the radio. "Heta-kssschh? I’ve kssschhed the kssschhh..." ‘She’s very very close,’ Caluna informed them. ‘I think she’s right below us.’ Mini-Chi gave the knobs a frustrated twist. Suddenly the radio was singing a Puff Daddy song. "Scheist," Heta-chan swore, and pushed Mini-Chi away with barely controlled anger. "The only thing below us," Sammy said, circling the jet around, "is the Star Wars Merchandise Warehouse." "That’s good!" Heta said. "She’s got to be there. Land!" "Ummm..." "What’s the problem?" "It may not be safe to land near the warehouse... It’s smoking." o_0 "Hahahaha!!" Rai laughed evilly and walked triumphantly away from the huge building she had just demolished. "I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN!" The sound of a jet above caused her to stop and look up. She shielded her eyes, and recognized the symbol on the belly of the plane as belonging to her rebel group. "Hey, I didn’t know we had a jet..." The aircraft landed in front of her, the turbulent wind from the engines blowing her blond hair back in a really cool way. It was a perfect three-point landing, the impressed Rai noted. As soon as the engines had died down, her friends tumbled out of the cabin door, and looked at Rai sheepishly. She grinned, not realizing she looked quite an awe-inspiring sight, standing in front of the gargantuan smoking warehouse. "What’re you guys doing here?" "Um..." Heta shuffled her feet on the ground. "We, uh, came to rescue you." Rai looked surprised. The building behind her gave one last submissive squeak, and collapsed in a pile of rubble. "Oh." o_0 "Luna-sama," Trunks said, and kneeled down in front of her image. "Trunks." She didn’t smile. Trunks looked up at her hologram. Something must be wrong. He’d never seen her look so... unhappy, in his presence. "I was sent word that someone has kidnapped the leader of the Chan Rebels," she said. "Without my authorization." Trunks stood. "It must have been that damn idiot Viceroy. He’s always thought he could act without your permission." "Not only has he interfered with MY plans to capture the Chan leader," Luna seethed, "he has FAILED. Rai and her team escaped in their fastest aircraft, and they have disappeared from our censors. Before they were obliterated, a few of the Viceroy’s ambassadors reported her complaining that she was late for a vacation with her friends at the beach. We assume that is where they are heading now." Luna took a deep breath. "You need to relocate Rai and destroy her so we may continued as planned." Trunks managed a grin. "I have the perfect person to send." As if on cue, a cloaked figure appeared at his side. "This is my apprentice, Darth One-Liner. He will find the missing jet." Luna-Megami smiled in approval, and her hologram vanished. "At last," Darth One-Liner rasped. "We will reveal ourselves." Trunks waited for more, but Darth One-Liner remained silent. "Who are you revealing yourselves to?" The Darth looked over at him. "Come again?" "Who are you revealing yourselves to?" "Oh, everyone. I’ve been waiting all summer to wear these cute swimming trunks I bought at the Gap." Trunks face-faulted. o_0 "Ahh..." Rai sighed, and leaned back against the wall. "That was refreshing, destroying a whole warehouse of Star Wars merchandise. If I ever see another Luke Skywalker action figure again, it’ll be too soon." She straightened back out. "Which beach are we going to?" "Beach?" Sammy asked. "Don’t tell me you guys forgot. We were gonna go to the beach and party down today, remember?" Silence filled the cabin. Rai sighed again. "So I guess you didn’t bring any floaty toys." Red lights started flashing everywhere. An alarm went off. "Uh-oh..." Ryoga flipped the switches in front of him, and pressed a blinding array of buttons. "Something’s wrong with the engines." Sammy gasped as the jet dipped sharply. She pulled the controls back as hard as she could. "Did they cover THIS in Microsoft Flight Simulator?" She asked him, managing a sardonic grin. "Scheist!" Rai shoved between them and pushed a few buttons herself. "There’s probably debris from the warehouse caught in the engines! We’re gonna need to make an emergency landing!" The jet dipped even more sharply. Heta screamed and jumped into Gadget’s arms. Mini-Chi grabbed onto his leg again. Caluna was thrown to the back of the cabin once more. "Kyyy-YAAAH!!" Sammy screeched, and leveled the jet slightly. "Heta-baby, isn’t it nice being so close?" Gadget Boy asked. Heta immediately jumped back to the floor and slapped him. "We’re gonna hafta crash around Japan!" Sammy announced, trying desperately to take control of the jet again. The ground was coming awfully close. "Fine with me!" Heta yelled. "Everyone grab something stable!" Rai ordered, and latched onto Sammy’s chair. Before many of them could, the jet skidded across the ground... o_0 "What a great idea, to take a vacation on the beach." The girl adjusted her bathing suit slightly, and eased back into her foldable beach chair. Her blond companion agreed. "No transforming, no youmas, no whiny meatball-headed leaders..." She sighed. "Why couldn’t we do this ALL year?" A loud crashing, grinding noise rang out across the huge beach. The dark haired girl raised an eyebrow behind her sunglasses. A small jet sped across the sands, just feet in front of her. The eyebrow was raised higher. "What... in God’s name..." She lowered her sunglasses, and leaned over to watch the jet slow down and finally stop. "...Is that." "Rei... I really, really hope we don’t have to transform." "Me too." The door to the disheveled plane opened, and six people tumbled out, along with a strange little black cat bunny thing. One of them started kissing the ground. Rei sighed. "Well, Minako, as protectors of love, truth, and justice, we’d better go see what the hell that was all about." "I guess." Minako stood up and dusted the sand off her bottom. o_0 "We’re alive..." Sammy murmured, hugging the sand. "Do you hear that, world??" She stood, shaking her fist at the sky. "WE’RE ALIVE!!" "And we’re not going home any time soon," Rai said, inspecting the battered aircraft. "What’re you talkin’ about??" Heta cried. "Japan IS home!!" "Ummm..." Everyone stopped and looked at the two girls that had approached them. The dark haired one coughed. "Who are you?" Rai coughed as well. "I’m Rai." The dark haired girl looked shocked. "I’m Rei." The two girls stared at each other, and suddenly hugged. "I feel like I’ve known you all my life!!" Rei exclaimed. The other new girl sweat-dropped. "Well... I’m Minako." "Mina-chan." Gadget Boy stepped up and put his arm around her. "Do you have any spare engines?" She looked at him oddly. "Are you a pimp?" He adjusted his tie slightly. "Do you want me to be?" Heta sizzled, pulled a mallet out of Hammerspace, and calmly knocked Gadget Boy senseless. "We’re at the beach," Rai said, having finished bonding with Rei. "At least we accomplished one task." "Ah," Mini-Chi said, looking out over the ocean. "Beach." "Yessssss." "But we don’t have any beach equipment!" Sammy protested. "Oh, I’m sure we can find some stuff for you guys," Rei assured them. "Aren’t you at all untrusting of us, after we appeared out of nowhere in a jet and strange clothes?" Heta asked, astonished. Minako shrugged. "If you guys were the enemy, you would have tried to look at our beautiful dream or steal our pure heart crystal by now." Everyone looked at them like they were crazy. "That’s nice," Sammy beamed. o_0 "Ahhhhh..." Rai spread out on her beach towel. She and the others had un- transformed, and changed into swimsuits. Rai had modestly decided to wear shorts over hers. "Thanks for lending us the beach supplies, Rei-chan." Rei grinned and rolled over on her own beach towel, giving her back a chance to tan. "No problem, Rai-chan." "So, what’s it like, being a Fna Rebel?" Minako asked Heta. "Get any good benefits? Your leader whine a lot?" "We have a good dental plan," Heta said. She smeared some sun lotion on her arms. "Rai doesn’t whine, so much as she... well, she tends to be a little independent of the rest of us." "Hmm. Better than whining." "I guess so. Hey, Mina-chan, could you do my back for me?" Rai sat up, and glanced over at Sammy. She was playing out in the surf with Caluna. "Where’s Mini-Chi?" She asked. Heta frowned. "I sent her with Gadge to go find jet parts." Rai snorted. "Who better than the two foot clone of Sammy-chan and an annoying android in a suit to buy parts for an aircraft." "Gadget Boy promised me he wouldn’t get in any trouble. And I figured Mini-Chi could be cute enough for anyone to give her the parts for free," Heta explained. "That very well may work," Rei said. "You’d be amazed at what Chibiusa could get people to do for her." Minako shuddered involuntarily. Rai stood up suddenly, her hand reaching for a black cylinder at her hip. Heta blanched. "What’s wrong?" "There’s a disturbance..." Rai muttered, and then relaxed. "Nothing. Never mind." She sat back down on her towel, still looking wary. The distant sound of trumpets reached their ears. Rei grinned. "Ten more minutes ‘til the pod race starts." Rai raised an eyebrow, and looked at her dubiously. "Pod race?" "It’s a big trend now," Minako explained. "Very dangerous though. Not many people can do it." "It’s bet on heavily," Rei continued. "And it’s very popular for spectators." "All right!!" Heta stood up, fully lotioned. "Now I’m ready to par-tay!" She raced out to the ocean after Sammy. Minako followed her. Rai and Rei sighed and soaked in more sun. "I need a tan," Rai decided out loud. "I’m much too pale." "Nah, you’re fine." Rei rolled onto her back. "Now, Ami, there’s a pale girl." "Ami?" "Mizuno Ami, a friend of mine. She doesn’t get out enough. Spends most of the day in her room on the computer." Rai looked thoughtful. "Ami should meet Heta. They’d get along pretty well." The darker girl sat up, and pulled down her sunglasses, looking past Rai. "So, who is THAT, anyway?" "Who?" Rai looked in the direction Rei was facing. Ryoga was sitting down against their downed jet, far away from the water. "That’s Ryoga." Rei grinned, starting to resemble a large predatory cat. "He’s kinda cute." Rai noted the crazed gleam in her friend’s eyes and shrugged noncommittally. "He sorta joined us with Sammy. We thought he was just a pig." Rei looked disappointed. "He’s bad, huh?" Rai was about to explain more, but decided to leave it at that. The sound of footsteps in the sand rapidly approaching them caused Rai to whirl around. Gadget Boy practically fell on top of her. "It wasn’t my fault," he ranted. "I tried to convince her not to do it, I told her she’d get in trouble..." "What are you talking about?" Rai asked, annoyed. "...She promised me she could do it, but I tried to tell her..." Rei smacked Gadget in the head. He stopped ranting and cleared up. "Mini-Chi’s joined in the pod race." "What?!" Rai stood in shock. "She’s been sponsored by some desperate lowlife and now she’s got a pod racer and she’s racing." Rai looked around wildly. The other chans were still at the ocean’s edge. "Guys!!" She called, and ran towards them. They looked up at her, worried at her tone of voice. "Guys, Mini-Chi is pod racing!!" "What?! She’s what?!" Sammy cried, dropping Caluna. The poor beaten cabbit made a small splash. "We have to go stop her somehow!!" Heta shouted. "C’mon, we’ll show you where it is," Rei and Minako said. They started running, and everyone followed suit. o_0 The cloaked figure regally exited his ship. He’d ingeniously parked it atop a large tower in the middle of Tokyo. This would give him an excellent view. He pulled a pair of high-tech binoculars out of his cloak, and examined the far- away shoreline. The binoculars picked up large traces of gas exhaust. The jet had definitely landed somewhere around there. He pressed a button on another device in his cloak. Three floating droids flew out of the ship, and spread out across the city, scanning for the wanted life form. The cloaked figure crouched down on top of his landing tower. Now all he had to do was wait. o_0 "Ack!!" Sammy flipped out and screamed, just as the race started. "There are so many pods!! Which one is hers??" One of the people near the viewing screens apathetically pointed at a screen with a small red pod on it. "Ack!!" Sammy cried again. "How are we gonna get her out of there?" Rai asked incredulously. "How do we know she can’t finish the race?" Minako asked. "Yeah, she might win you guys a lot of money," Rei added. "She can’t drive one of those things!!" Sammy protested. "Maybe WE could, but..." There was silence. "Hey..." Heta said suddenly, getting an idea. "I’m getting an idea. Why not, instead of helping her get out of there, we help her WIN?" Rai started to catch on. "The winnings would be more than enough for us to all get a plane ticket home!" "In first class, even!" Gadget Boy exclaimed. "But..." Ryoga looked worried. "Is that... legal?" Rai grinned evilly. "We will MAKE it legal." o_0 "Wow!" Mini-Chi giggled underneath her helmet as she passed by another downed racer. "Pod racing is WICKED!" There was a flash of blue, and suddenly Heta and Gadget Boy appeared next to the pod. Mini-Chi bubbled. "Hi Heta-chan! Come to watch me kick ass?" "Came to HELP you kick ass!" She said, flying alongside the pod. The blue haired wonder and her amazing android floated up to the engines, and each carefully took a side. They started guided it along... o_0 Rei sighed. "So, we do have to transform." "Sorry guys," Rai apologized. "Its necessary." "Darn." Minako climbed up to the top of the canyon. "At least its for a cool cause this time." "And no whiny pigtailed leader to tell us what to do!" Rei pulled out her transformation pen. "MARS STAR POWER, MAKE UP!" Minako did likewise. "VENUS STAR POWER, MAKE UP!" Rai summoned her electric bird catalyst. "REM thunderclap Zapdos lightning riot!" o_0 "What’re we supposed to do again?" Sammy asked, watching the viewing screens. "Make sure nothing goes wrong." Ryoga made a face. "While they blow things up. Why do we always get stuck with the boring job?" Sammy stared. Without warning, she glomped onto him. "You’re so cute when you’re angry!!" o_0 "Hey, here comes one!" Sailor Venus called, and pointed. "Fire... SOUL!" The fire ball shot straight into the pod. The racer swore as the whole thing burst into flames and crashed. "Hehehe, good shot, Rei." "Thanks Rai!" "Okay, okay, I get the next one!" Venus pointed a finger at the approaching racer. "Crescent... BEAM!!" The bright ray of happiness tore straight through the racing pod, dissolving it in mid-air. The racer landed on the ground in a surprised heap. "Wahah! That was so cool!! Can I have the next one?" o_0 "Scheist!" Heta swore, and pulled Mini-Chi’s pod to one side to avoid another pod’s wreckage. "You’d think they could just DISABLE the pods instead of blowing them to pieces!" Gadget Boy gave the super heroines a thumbs up as they went by. "Way to go Mina- chan!" Heta smacked him. o_0 "I’m bored," Sammy complained. "Me too." She looked out at the real pod race wistfully. "I want to blow up pods." "Me too." Sammy stood up, and headed for outside. "Let’s go help Rai and the senshi." "But..." Ryoga protested as he watched her go. "Rai told us to stay here." The curly-headed girl stopped in the doorway and put her hands on her hips. "And I’M telling you to come with me!" He looked at the radio in his hand. If they saw something wrong while they were outside, they’d still be able to contact Heta and the group. Finally he stood up and followed Sammy out. o_0 Sailor Mars sat down on the edge of the canyon, laughing. "This is too much fun." Rai sat down behind her, wary of the cliff edge and the dizzying height at which they were. "I need a cool name for my attacks." She pondered for a few seconds. "Lightning Soul?" Mars suggested. "Thunder Beam?" "Electric Mandala?" "Shock-Me Chain?" While the girls chatted, a small droid floated past them. It stopped, and did a small robot double take. After confirming what it saw, it quickly scooted away. o_0 "Dammit..." Heta pushed the pod away from another wreckage. "This is getting too dangerous." "Hey, if any of ‘em come too close, Sammy-chan and Ryoga will tell us, right?" Gadget winked at her. "Just chill." "This is so cool!" Mini Chi gurgled from behind them. A sweat drop formed on Heta’s head. "Exactly like Sammy," she remembered. Another pod wreck passed too close to them. "Ack!!" Heta pulled with all her might. "This is scaring the crap out of me!" She exclaimed. Silence. "Gadge?" She looked over. He was missing, and the engine was smoking. She looked back. He was lying unconscious on the ground far behind them, next to the last pod mess. "Oh..." Heta looked back in front with wide eyes. "Oh... oh, scheist... I can’t drive this by myself..." o_0 Ryoga pulled a cell phone out of his pocket. "Tank, run the supply room program." There was a flash. And then everything disappeared. "Uhm..." Sammy looked around the blank room they had suddenly appeared in. "I know you told me you could instantly break the physics of the Matrix we’re living in, but would you mind WARNING ME before doing that??" "Sorry." Ryoga donned his sunglasses and black trenchcoat, and grinned at her. "No one can be told what the Matrix is, you have to see it for yourself." "I remember hearing that somewhere." She put on her own sunglasses and trenchcoat. "What do we need?" Sammy looked around the emptiness, and smiled in anticipation. "Guns. Lots of guns." Before she could even breathe, rows and rows of guns sped past her at an incredible speed, until she was surrounded by countless weapons. The impressed Sammy raised an eyebrow. o_0 The droid floated up to its master, and beeped insistently. The cloaked figure wasted no time, and climbed onto his personal hover vehicle. It was time to reveal. o_0 "Uh-oh." "What? What’s wrong?" Mars looked around. "Mini-chan’s pod is wobbling." Venus pointed. "I think we were a little too messy." "Scheist," Rai swore as she watched the pod approach on an uneasy course. "I don’t see Gadget Boy on there." "Bad." "Very bad." "It wasn’t my fault," Venus said. o_0 "Oh, oh no!!" Heta shut her eyes, and clung to the engine with all her strength. Mini-Chi frantically navigated through the tunnel, nearly scraping a few stalactites. "This isn’t much fun any more," Mini-Chi proclaimed, and flipped switches randomly. Her pod suddenly started playing a Puff Daddy song. "Ohhhhh scheist!" Heta cried. o_0 The black cloaked figure could sense her disturbance. He smiled fishily, and gunned the engine on his hovercraft. She was not paying attention to the Force. He could sneak behind her and capture her before she knew what hit her. As he got closer, two other disturbances were apparent to him. He frowned. They were strong for humans, but still too weak to deal with him. He could finish them off easily. The Force was definitely strong with him today. o_0 Sammy and Ryoga reappeared in the "real" world. And armed to the teeth. "Alright, now that’s what I’m talkin’ about." Sammy pet her trusty AR-33 fondly. "Lets go smash things!" "Where are they?" Ryoga asked, shielding his eyes and scouring the land. "I think they’re just over there." Sammy pointed in the exact opposite direction he was looking. They were indeed a few hundred yards ahead of them. "Oh." She glomped onto him again. "You’re so cute when you’re confused!!" o_0 Rai stood up suddenly. Mars and Venus looked up at her in surprise. "There is a disturbance in the Force," Rai whispered, and looked around warily, pulling a black cylinder off of her belt. Venus was the first to see it. A dark cloaked man on a speeding hovercraft. Before her eyes, he pulled out a black cylinder that extended into a green light sword. And he headed for Rai. "Rai-chan!!" Venus screamed as she stood. Rai whirled around in surprise. Her own weapon lit up in a yellow beam, nearly slicing off Sailor Mars’ hair. Venus pointed at the approaching enemy. "Crescent..." The cloaked man pushed the air with his hand. With a cry of surprise, Sailor Venus stumbled backwards over the edge of the cliff. "Mina-chan!!" Mars screamed. Rai looked down at the falling sailor in shock, then faced front again. She narrowed her eyes furiously, not taking her eyes off of the new opponent. Sailor Mars stood and rushed at the man in a rage. He jumped off of his craft and calmly ran her through with his saber. A battle aura of electricity flared up around Rai as she watched Mars fall. Her vision turned red. "Those were my friends," she whispered, and lunged at the enemy. o_0 "Oh my God..." Heta gasped. Sailor Venus fell directly onto her engine. "Hi!" Mini said. "Uggh..." Venus said. "Mina-chan!!" Heta cried, and struggled to pull the pod away from an old crash. "Rai-chan... is in trouble..." The sailor-suited girl mumbled, and then her eyes closed. "We’re in trouble!!" Mini-Chi corrected with a scream. "Aaah!" The engine passed to close to a wrecked pod, and scraped a large chunk out of it. Venus and Heta flew off and landed far in back of Mini’s pod. "Ohhh..." Mini turned back to the controls of her pod. Both engines were leaking fluid fast. "This ISN’T good..." o_0 "Mini-Chi!!" Sammy screamed, and ran along the cliff side after her clone. "Rai-chan!!" Ryoga rushed towards the dueling characters. o_0 Rai furiously blocked attack after attack from the cloaked figure, neither of them saying a single word. Her anger was almost blinding. The enemy pushed her farther back, permitting himself a grin of pure malice. Rai felt the urge to spit in the ugly bastard’s face. Finally he broke away from her. With the extra seconds she now had, she lit up the OTHER end of her yellow light saber with a flourish. The other figure looked slightly impressed. Casually he kicked the body of Sailor Mars out of his way, and dropped into a stance. Refilling with anger over the death of her new friends, Rai gripped her double-edged saber a little tighter, and lunged again. The dark cloaked man smiled sadistically, and pushed the air with his hand. Rai gasped as she realized she was flying backwards... Over the edge of the cliff... o_0 "Mini-chan!!" Sammy cried, trying to keep up alongside and above her clone. The smoke and fluid pouring out of Mini-Chi’s pod engines was extremely disconcerting to her. The canyon wall gradually sloped down to meet the upward sloping floor, and soon Sammy was running at a safe distance right along side her little version’s pod. "Sammy-chan!" The small girl glanced over at her with a smile. "You run so fast!!" "Mini-chan!!" Sammy called. "Your engines are going to explode!! Jump out!!" "No they won’t!!" Mini jiggled another switch on her console, and pushed more buttons. "I’m working on it!" "Mini-Chi!!" Sammy wouldn’t be able to keep running much longer. "It’ll be okay!!" The pod engines stopped leaking fluid, but the smoke was still billowing out. The pod raced away. Sammy stopped, and bent over, trying to catch her breath. "Mini..." o_0 "Rai-chan!!" Everything seemed to move in slow motion. Rai saw the canyon walls moving past her, slowly. She also saw someone in dark sunglasses and a trenchcoat jumping after her. The enemy above her turned off his saber, and watched her fall. Rai felt her own sword fall from her hands. The other person seemed to have a cell phone. He caught her in mid air, but they were still falling. He shouted something about a tank and a supply room... And then there was a flash. And then she was on a floor. And then someone was on top of her. Rai blinked in surprise for a few seconds, trying desperately to understand what was going on. ‘I fell,’ she thought. ‘I’m sure I fell. I was fighting that ugly guy, I fell... someone caught me...’ She stared up at the white nothingness above her. ‘Am I dead?’ Then, she realized again that someone was on top of her. "Aack!!" She shouted, and pushed him off. "What..." She stood up. "Whoo... whehhh..." Ryoga caught his breath, and closed the cell phone. He sat up on the floor, and looked up at Rai sheepishly. "Hi." Rai looked down at him confusedly, turning red. "What... what..." Everything was too much. Her eyes closed, and she collapsed on the blank floor. o_0 "Hmm..." Mini examined the screens on her console. It said she had approximately ten seconds until the engines would explode. "Sammy was right." She looked up. The finish line was just ahead of her. She could finish in ten seconds, if she tried really, really, really hard. Mini grinned sadistically, and gunned the engines, ignoring the huge clouds of smoke. 7... 6... Alarms started to go off in the pod. The clone gritted her teeth, and pushed the engines even harder. 4... 3... The finish line! She crossed! The crowds were going wild!! Mini took one last desperate look at the countdown, and without even braking, she dove out of the pod. Just nanoseconds after she rolled on the ground, both her engines exploded in a spectacular display. Everyone cheered even louder. Mini stood up, looking confused. They shouldn’t be THAT excited. Violence wasn’t that great. Two race officials came up to her, and enthusiastically shook her little hand. "This was the best race we’ve ever seen!!" One of them exclaimed. "Yours was the only pod to finish!!" The other informed her. "You’re the winner!!" Mini-Chi looked stunned, but only for a few seconds. She broke into a cheerful smile. "That’s nice!" Sammy ran up behind her, breathing heavily. "Mini..." She collapsed. "Oh no!!" Mini ran to her side. "Sammy-chan??" Sammy looked up at her, trying to catch her breath. "Mini-Chi... did we win?" "Yeah, yeah, we won..." Mini was close to tears at seeing her bigger half looking hurt. Finally she burst into loud sobs. "I’m so sorry!! I’ll never do anything that scary again!!" "It’s okay," Sammy gasped. "You did a good job, and I’m proud of you." Mini-Chi still wailed, and gave her a huge hug. The two officials rushed off to get water. o_0 "Ugh..." Heta opened her eyes cautiously. A bright light assaulted her retinas. "Owww..." She rubbed her eyes irritably, and tried opening them again. A spectacular sight faced her. A young girl, maybe 13 or 14, in an elaborate sailor suit, stood before her. Her pigtails glared in the sun, and her wings, although they looked like they were cut out of cardboard, gave her the appearance of a sacred angel. "Who are you?" Heta breathed. The girl smiled, and disappeared. Heta blinked. She stood up, and look around. The smoking remain of a pod was very close to her. Why did she feel like she’d just died and been resurrected? ‘Maybe because you WERE,’ someone thought at her. "Caluna!" Heta whirled around. "Where have you been all this time??" ‘I’ve been watching all the bloody havoc on the viewing screens,’ the little cabbit informed her. ‘Mini-Chi won the race. Sammy-chan is hyperventilating with her at the finish line. Venus and Mars are presumably being brought back from the dead. Gadget Boy is reworking his circuitry. And Rai-chan and Ryoga disappeared after being thrown off of a cliff by some madman in a black getup.’ "Wow." Heta looked around. "I guess we’ve had a semi-happy ending... all except for that little thing about Rai and Ryoga disappearing." The cabbit shrugged noncommittally. ‘I have a feeling that’ll conclude soon...’ o_0 The cloaked enemy looked over the cliff, frowning deeply. How could she just disappear like that? After that boy in the trenchcoat came out of nowhere... There was the sound of footsteps behind him. Darth One-Liner turned around. The boy from before was approaching, carrying the unconscious girl in his arms. The Darth sneered haughtily, and readied his green light saber. Ryoga carefully set Rai down on the ground, and borrowed her light sword. He turned it on casually, and faced the enemy in front of him. Darth One-Liner’s sneer faded. Maybe this boy would be a suitable opponent after all. They stood for a few moments, sizing each other up. "Someone once told me," Ryoga said finally. "That the vengeance of heaven is slow but sure..." The cloaked figure snarled, and rushed towards him. In a movement that was inhumanly quick, Ryoga sliced the Darth down the middle. "...I hope you’ll forgive the swiftness of mine." Darth One-Liner stood whole for a few seconds, a look of terrified surprise frozen on his face. Then, slowly, his two halves slid apart. Ryoga calmly turned off the light saber, picked Rai up again, and continued to where he hoped the finish line was. o_0 Epilogue Mini-Chi thumbed through her winnings. "Oh boy, what a haul, what a haul!!" Minako laughed at her antics. "What a cute clone." She turned to Heta. "Do you think you could clone me, too?" "Sure!" Heta beamed. "Just bring over a DNA sample sometime!" Everyone was clustered around the terminal of the Tokyo airport, alive, safe, and glad that they had all had a happy ending. Rei gave Rai one last hug. "You guys’ll come back and visit soon, right?" "Definitely." Rai smiled happily. "We’ll have enough money left over for another trip." "And..." Rei leaned over and mumbled confidentially, "bring your cute friend, too." She glanced over at Ryoga. Rai gave her a weird look. Rei winked at her. Heta suddenly remembered. "Oh yeah! And thank your meatball-headed leader for resurrecting me! I really appreciate it." Minako looked proud. "Yup, that’s our leader. She does that all the time." Rei grinned. "We’re glad she’s on our team." Heta turned to Rai. "Could you resurrect one of us if we died?" Rai looked mysterious. "Maybe. If you’re nice to me." "Ohhh..." Sammy sniffed. Suddenly she broke down into sobs. "I’m gonna miss you guys SO MUCH!!" She pulled everyone into a massive group hug. "It was so much fun having our vacation with you!!" Minako burst into tears too. "I’m gonna miss you too!!" Soon everyone was wailing. "Um..." A flight attendant sidled over to the sobbing group. "Your plane is ready to leave." Everyone instantly stopped crying and disentangled themselves from their friends. "Well, bye then!" Rai waved, and led her group out to the plane. "Bye Rai-chan! Heta-chan! Sammy-chan! Mini-chan! Gadget Boy! Ryoga! Caluna!" Minako and Rei waved together as they went through the names, and kept waving until the rebels were out of sight. "Whew." Minako breathed out. "The rest of the summer will seem so boring now." "Yeah." Rei and her friend turned around and walked away from the terminal. "The only thing that could top this would be a flower-loving homosexual alien freak coming to Earth to claim Mamoru and kill Usagi, and imprison us all on a flowering meteor while Luna entertains a love affair with the moon-worshipping boyfriend of an astronaut..." Minako stared at Rei. She shrugged. o_0 "Well, that’s enough happy ending for a while," Rai said, easing herself back in her first-class chair. "Don’t say that!!" Sammy cried. "Why?" "You’ll jinx it..." Suddenly, on all the airplane radios, a Puff Daddy song started playing. "NOOOOOOOOO!!" ..... o_0 The End Oh my! Okay, I’m done with that. And, my god, I’ve done nothing but write this for FIVE HOURS. So you’d better like it. Sorry about the Sailor Moon inconsistencies. I know, the whole Fiore alien thing happened BEFORE Sailor Moon went eternal. And I don't know HOW old she was. I probably messed up a few Star Wars things. I also twisted "The Matrix" to make it fit the story. SUE ME! It just sounded cool, right? And, WOW! What was up with those corny running gags? ..... I’m leaving now. -rai-chan