In the area of family finances men and women each bear a responsibility, however the areas of concern are different. The husband’s role is to:
As stated in the last lesson, it is the husband’s responsibility to provide the living. Managing the money and any stress with this job fall under the authority that comes with his leadership.
Any man from time to time may have a change in situation that requires a wife to be adaptable and willing to sacrifice. His success or failure may depend on your willingness to cooperate with a new set of circumstances. It is up to you to provide a peaceful home existence, even in the midst of trying times.
A very good way to for a wife to handle the running of a household is for her to be given a household allowance. She should operate within this given budget and practice the art of thrift. Your standard of living can be measured by how well you manage your money. Even on a low income she can be the key to a full and rich home life.
The wife’s budget should cover such things as food, clothing, household goods, personal items, things in regular demand, and even occasional things like furniture, appliances, repairs, or remodeling. Your husband’s income will determine how much this allowance should be, but it should be adequate to keep the family running smoothly. Should the wife become an expert at spending wisely she should be allowed to spend the excess however she pleases. This gives her added incentive to be diligent and resourceful and gives her some personal freedom.
The rest of the household bills and investments should be under the husband’s care and control. Monthly utility bills, loan payments, insurance premiums, yard care, car upkeep , taxes all fall under his jurisdiction. Extra items like furniture, repairs, remodeling and such should be worked out according to the income provided. The final say in such matters belongs to the husband, but certainly a wise wife will have a say and offer valuable insight. There is nothing wrong with discussion, but the authority it his.
Surveys have shown that there are more disagreements in marriages over money than any other single thing. Your husband should consult you, but he is under no obligation to do so - and it’s wrong to expect this. If he is meeting his responsibilities for you and his children, then it’s best to let him have the reins in this matter.
Times of Financial Distress
Periods of distress may not be avoidable, but there are a couple of things you can do. First, cut the luxuries. This solution may seem obvious, but if you are used to a life with luxuries, you may not realize how many you can do without. Some of us tend to be penny-wise and pound-foolish. Look for the simpler things in life.
Next, search your budget for any place you can reduce expenses. There are many places a household budget can be cut, or where you can be innovative with new ideas. There are hundreds of resources on the web where you can learn frugal ideas to help you through a slump. The closer you get to the core of an item, the fewer value-added costs are piled onto it. Think about the cost of a home-made waffle compared to the local pancake cabin.
Problems in Family Finances
When the wife does a good job, (which there is no question that many can), and there is an excess, then the husband decides he can pull rank. What the wife has worked hard to save is taken out of her hands. If the wife takes on the worry and the stress of the job, then she should also have the power of deciding where the excess goes. (This reminded me of “taxation without representation” when I read it. Responsibility and management go hand-in-hand.)
Roles are further confused if the wife is also earning a paycheck. When a woman has to deal with earning the living then something must suffer. I don’t care what all the women’s magazines say, I don’t believe in Superwoman, something is going to take a back burner. Evidence is clearly before us - it’s the home and family that gets neglected.
Closely tied to this is the trend to look outside the home for daily needs. Food is bought at a deli or restaurant, clothing is bought new and never repaired, but tossed out, and daycare providers raise the children. Quality and money is sacrificed for time in each case. Wouldn’t a better solution be to save the money by living your role so your outside-the-home-job could be sacrificed instead?
Nature teaches that women were not designed to worry about money. They become depressed, lose their sparkle, lose their charm, and sometimes the stress is so great they become ill in mind or body. In part this worry is caused not so much by being the breadwinner, but because of their inadequacy to increase the income.
Some women take the finances over by force. Usually this is caused by a lack of trust or thinking they can do it better. However, even if the chore is hers by choice, she loses in the bargain. Her femininity and womanliness suffers.
You need to let go completely. Don’t be anxious. Don’t check on things to see if it’s correct or neglected. Remember, it’s his mess and his consequences.
Keep in mind that if you have been doing them for a long time, that he is going to have to learn the ropes. Don’t make it worse for him by fretting and stewing. Encourage him in his efforts.
Children and Family Finances
Children should be sheltered from financial worries. They do not have the mental capability or maturity to deal with them. But it doesn’t hurt to train them to be good stewards of some money. This should be under your guidance.
Children and Allowance
There are differing views on allowances and both sides of an arguement have merit. If you do decide to give an allowance, do not tie it into chores. Children should do their share in the home regardless of whether or not they get an allowance. You do not want a little mercenary that must be paid for every job.
Children and Work
As a child gets older you may want to let them do regular jobs with pay. As before, this should not be for their regular household duties, but for additional work.
Children and Managing Money
No matter how a child gets his money he should never get the idea that “it’s MINE and you can’t tell me how to spend it.” He is going to need some guidelines. Teach them about tithing, saving, charity, spending wisely, and other principles. We even gave the kids a “checking account” at “Mom’s Bank and Trust.” They had to keep their book balanced. It was fun and they learned a lot. You may want them to put some of their money in a real savings account where it can earn interest.
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