K.D. sent this in as a reply to a question:

I had a light switch that was bad, it would be in the up position, but there was no juice flowing to keep the light on. This had gone on for months (Mike had rewired the house about a year ago) and when asked, he'd comment that it must've been a faulty switch.

Well, I made remarks a few times, would stick a bobby pin in it to hold the switch way up so that the light would stay on, or I'd tape it. He'd say that a pin was not such a good idea....

Finally, I made the comment "Do you think we could call in that sexy electrician to fix that light switch upstairs?" It was fixed within a few days.

Nothing Short of a Miracle

Here's one from J. P. :

The more I try to complement and notice my husband's manly characteristics the more he is becoming more manly. I have never been one to talk to him like this and at times I have to FORCE the words out, BUT my husband is thriving because of my efforts.

Just yesterday we were out doing yard work together and for the first time he was really putting 100% effort into cleaning up the yard. This had been a point of disagreement in the past because he never wanted to help me do the yards and thought I was fanatical about keeping the yards looking nice. I commented on how hard he was working and then referred back to "how buff he was getting and I could see by his new found stamina and energy that he must really be getting into shape! Well, he just beamed and worked and worked until the backyard was in tip top shape. This is nothing short of a miracle!!!

Well ladies, all I can say is this is really working! I know there will be "valleys" that I will cross but I am really enjoying these "peaks" right now!

Husband Can't Believe It

Here's another one. This is from M. E.

Last night I tried listening to my husband. He enjoys cameras and photography and I have very little interest other than our point and shoot. He was looking at a photography magazine and when I showed some interest he showed me a few things. When it was obvious that I was interested and thought he was very clever in knowing how to use all those strange gizmos he really warmed up and I spent the next hour and 15 minutes being shown all about it.

What really struck me was that I remembered something from the book that said, 'when he talks above you he is trying to gain your admiration'. One of the things he said was 'you probably don't really understand this part but...' 2 weeks ago I would have been really offended! (what, do you think I'm dumb or something? Do I need to remind you of my IQ again?) It was so tempting to have a discussion about equipment with him when he was trying to impress me. So, I listened and admired and now I have this husband who has this 'I can't really believe it' look in his eye.

Now I can't believe it. I really like the results - it seems to good to be true!

Out of Her Comfort Zone

One more from J. P. :

I also had to chuckle under my breath last night. I had been praying to God to please help me find a way to start complementing Jim's manly characteristics because, again, this is out of my comfort zone. Well, just last night Jim actually started talking about his muscles and how he thinks he is toning up (he is doing a lot of physical work on the job right now).

This gave me a perfect opportunity to jump right in and tell him how I had been thinking that he was "getting buff" and that I loved his big broad shoulders. God is so good, and this just confirms for me that I am on the right path with FW.

It's Easy

From Sondra:

J__, you sure gave a great example of just how EASY it is to admire a man's manliness. Remember this for the lesson on "Admiration". You don't have to be phony, just be observant and then OPEN YOUR MOUTH. It's so easy to do. Just pretend you are complementing one of your girlfriends on a new dress or hair style. That doesn't get you all in a tizzy does it? It's just natural - first you notice it; then you say it.

Questions and Answers

Question from K. D.:

My struggle is that even though I do admire him and find him attractive, if I voice those thoughts, he seems to think it implies I want to get intimate. While at times that might be my intent, other times it is not. Because of this, I fear saying anything because he might misconstrue my meaning. Is there anyway to work around this?

Answer from J. C.:

I added some "impression" compliments to the mix. "Wow, great abs!" is a compliment on a detail or piece of data. Giving his arm muscles a squeeze after a hug, or saying it's so nice be taken care of by a man after he lifts/opens cans/moves furniture, or giving him a macho private nickname like Tiger or Tarzan or Studmuffin, in fact, finding all sorts of creative and *less direct* ways to acknowledge his masculine physicalness. Okay, some of these may aggravate the misconstrue at first, but that's okay. The purpose was to create an atmosphere of this kind of appreciation. Then no particular compliment stands out as a pick-up line. Women are allowed to give extravagant, even fantastic, compliments to their own husbands.

Additional advice from Sondra:

It also helps to admire your husband in public places where he cannot possibly get intimate at the moment. Admire him in front of other people or when you are in the car. Admire him when he is outside working and in the middle of something he will not want to stop. Once he gets used to being admired, he may not take every complement as a suggestion.

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