N.J. explains her thinking before and after being in the working world.

I am a sahm now, but started out working. When dh and I were first married, I kept my job. The deep down true reasons I kept working were lack of faith in him. I do know that he would have supplied all of my needs and more with his own earnings, all of my earnings were extras that, looking back, were nice of course, but not truly needed. DH wanted me to stop working once we had our first child, but again, lack of faith kept me working. (two-thirds of our household income came from my work) Oh, yes, I had plenty of good solid reasons for working, like our lack of insurance because dh was self employed (benefits) and unexpressed fears of what would happen to me if...? My parents divorced when I was a teenager [how parents handle it effect children of every age!]. So ds spent time in 3 different child care situations in his first 20 months of life. Nearly all of my earnings went to pay for child care and taxes, and dh and I were not happy ds was learning some things we would rather not. DD was born 20 months after ds, and I was hit with the realization that dh is absolutely right, I need to stay home and raise these precious darlings.

Staying home, I don't know how I ever had time to get everything done while I worked full time. Ok, you caught me, I didn't get everything done! :0) My dh has become my number one priority. No longer is my employer number one. My ds and dd are priorities, we chat while waiting for the bus and I meet them at the bus stop every day to walk back to the house. We can even make cookies if the mood strikes. I'm trying to keep the house better [really working on getting rid of clutter to make it easier] and try to have favorite foods on hand for our family. I am the one in charge of the tone of our household. DH commented that he really likes having me home. He mentioned before that I was really upset by some of the office politics when I was working, and that I am more calm and level-headed now.

Oh, do I miss the income? Not at all! In fact, dh has increased what he brings into our household slightly (not the full amount), and our family still has enough to buy extras and go on family vacations. It may be I am more frugal with spending on groceries and household goods, and we don't go out to eat just because I am too tired to fix something, it is a special treat to go out to eat now.

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