Spousal Abuse,domestic violence; those two phrases were never heard of (at least by me) in the mid-sixties. As a matter of fact, I don't recall ever hearing about them until the early eighties. And even then, I seldom heard it mentioned anywhere. Another big one was Alcoholism,< i> I had no idea what an alcoholic was suppose to look or act like. But today, I can tell you that spousal abuse and alcoholism go hand in hand. In my case, I was sure they were related, except for after years of drinking, he sobered up for a few months and abused me and the kids again, and again....

I used to think that if I was real sweet and got his dinner ready when he came home from work, layed out his clothes in the morning, even warmed up his truck in the winter, he wouldn't beat me up anymore. Well, I got news for you, it did NOT make a bit of difference.

After many years of putting up with it, I started calling the police. Since most of his drinking was done on weekends, they'd tell me to go to the prosecutor's office on Monday, and press charges against him. By then he was back to work and very "sorry", so I wouldn't do anything about it. In the early to the mid-eighties, I found out that I could have pressed charges on him at anytime by requesting that the cops bring the papers with them, when I called. So, I finally did it. He swore revenge as they loaded him up in the police car. Of course, he got out the next morning, after he was found not guilty.

The last time I pressed charges, he spent 2 weeks in the County jail. He was soooo "sorry", he was crying. Well I'm sure you guessed it, he did it again. He never stopped beating me up, until the day he died; that is after going to 3 different Alcoholic treatment centers, and a psychiatric ward.

Today, I am reliving it through my daughter. It's a vicious circle that has to be stopped.

I hope this story of my life helps some of you that are being abused, and believe that you did something wrong to deserve that kind of abuse from a spouse, and think he or she will change if you are a nicer person. Just leave now before it's too late. The chance is that it will only get worse. Nicole