Welcome to my Website. Currently, we have 19 Answering machine messges. You can use these free of charge to put on you answering machine. They're really quite hillarious. The Offspring rules

• File Name: 911.wav
  File Size: 499 KB
  Text: "Thank you for calling 911. All of our offices are busy right now, please call back later .."

• File Name: afterlife.wav
  File Size: 611 KB
  Text: "Welcom to the afterlife voice mail system, if you are trying to reach heaven .."

• File Name: altzheimers.wav
  File Size: 316 KB
  Text: "Hi, you have reached the altzheimers labr.. labro.., the place where they study stuff.."

• File Name: angry.wav
  File Size: 221 KB
  Text: "hey, Hey, HEY, where'd you get this number, what makes you think you can call me.."

• File Name: annoy.wav
  File Size: 318 KB
  Text: "If you would like to press 1, press 1.. However if you would like to press 2, press 2 .. "

• File Name: attention.wav
  File Size: 356 KB
  Text: "I can't take your call right now, I have some sort of attention defficit dissorder.."

• File Name: confused.wav
  File Size: 440 KB
  Text: "We're not in right now, if you would like to leave a message press * 69, bark like a dog.."

• File Name: dog.wav
  File Size: 458 KB
  Text: "Hi, I'm not in right now, please leave a message for my dog, he'll call you back when.. "

• File Name: drinking.wav
  File Size: 227 KB
  Text: "Sorry, I can't answer the phone right now, I'm at the pub drinking with my friends.."

• File Name: dude.wav
  File Size: 75.6 KB
  Text: "Dude, we're not home right now, BUMMER, I don't have time for this nonsense.."

• File Name: fat.wav
  File Size: 369 KB
  Text: "The fingers you have used to dial are too fat, to obtain a special dialing wand.."

• File Name: japanese.wav
  File Size: 419 KB
  Text: "Thank you for calling learn Japanese in 20 seconds a day, ready? let's begin.."

• File Name: prozac.wav
  File Size: 198 KB
  Text: "Hi, I can't get off the couch right now, but I'm really happy about it.."

• File Name: sexlies.wav
  File Size: 454 KB
  Text: "Hi, thank you for calling the white house, the president will know you called because.."

• File Name: sillyvoices.wav
  File Size: 360 KB
  Text: "Welcome to the Monty Python Silly Voice Preservation Society.. [in a funny voice]"

• File Name: space.wav
  File Size: 574 KB
  Text: "Thank you for calling space station Mear, we are experiencing a little technical.."

• File Name: spooky.wav
  File Size: 199 KB
  Text: "Thank you for calling, pleeeaaassseee, leave a message after the sound"

• File Name: vampire.wav
  File Size: 689 KB
  Text: "Goodday, I am sorry no one is here to take the phone, but don't worry, your call is not.. "

• File Name: wincar.wav
  File Size: 315 KB
  Text: "Congratulations, you have just won a brand new car.."