Here's another offering to the Barenaked Ladies. It's pretty much 
MSHumor, if I can work it right. I need humor in my life. Angst is 
contagious, especially on this campus.

Disclaimer: See "The Disclaimer of All Disclaimers"

Rating: G to PG. We'll see how it goes.

Who Needs Sleep?
by
Tamani R. Green

    Mulder couldn't sleep. It had to be at least eighty-five degrees 
in the small apartment. He couldn't see how she could sleep. The
waterbed was making him queasy, plus he missed his old couch. For the
life of him, he couldn't figure out what had happened to old number 42.
    He rolled over as best he could on the constantly shifting mattress
and looked her hair spilled out on the black satin pillowcase. 
    *How can she sleep as well as she does and *not* get bed head? It's
an X-file, I'm sure of it.*
    He threw off the covers and even though the bedroom was hot as 
hell, the floor was cold. He let a shiver run down his spine as that
fact was communicated to his toes. Mulder padded out into the living
room. He looked out the window. The street was dark and deserted, no
tell-tale pinpricks of light punctuated the nighttime. 
    *Good.*
    He went to the little used stereo and flipped the switch. Static, 
loud and plenty came forth from the speakers.
    "Oh, shit!" Mulder rushed to turn down the volume. After listening
to silence for a minute, he breathed a sigh of relief he hadn't woken
Scully. 
    *That woman can be hell when she doesn't get her beauty sleep. 
Let's see what's on the radio.* He turned the tuner until some song 
came out. Some chick wailing about sweet surrender.
    *Ick. Girly song.* He turned it some more.
    Another chick singing her favorite mistake. *More chick songs. The
only thing worse than a chick flick is a chick song. What's next.*
The next thing was Elvis.
    *This is more like it. The King.* The song was "Heartbreak Hotel."
Mulder broke into song with Elvis. It was a wonder that Scully hadn't
awakened. The radio annoucer said that the song was a part of their 36
hour Elvis marathon. Mulder was in insomniac heaven.
    In the middle of "Blue Hawaii" His stomach began to rumble.
    *Let's see what's in the fridge.* He padded to the kitchen. Looking
in the refrigerator, he saw that there were the makings of ham grilled
cheese sandwiches.
    *Mmmm. Grilled cheese.* Mulder began pulling out the ingredients.
Cheese, butter, bread, cold slices of ham. And of course a tall glass
of milk to wash it down with.
    He began seaching for the skillet. Looking in the cabinet next to
the stove, he spied it all the way in the back, under a bunch of other
pots and pans.
    He started pulling out all the stuff that the skillet was buried 
under. Unfortunately, there's no quiet way to do that, so he clinged 
and clanged and clinked and clanked his was to the skillet. And by the
time he got to it, Scully stood in the door way, looking adorable and
annoyed as hell that she'd been awakened.
    "Mulder, what the hell are you doing?" She rubbed her eyes and then
placed her hands on her hips as she glared at him.
    "Uh, nothing."
    "Doesn't look like nothing to me."
    "I-I couldn't sleep. And then I got hungry, so I decided to make
some grilled cheese sandwiches."
    "And you woke me up in the process."
    "Sorry." He looked like a little boy who got caught with his hand
in the cookie jar.
    "That's all right. Since I'm not going back to sleep now anyway, 
I'll have some, too."
    "You trust my cooking?"
    "Yep. Now, G-man," she said, tossing him a frilly apron,"get to 
work."
    "Yes, ma'am."
    And they ate ham and grilled cheese with tall, frosty glasses of 
milk. And they danced to Elvis. And they played computer games and
watched videos (not those!) until they both fell asleep on the couch.
And by that time, it was time to get up.