Blind
Faith
This story is not my own. It belongs to my goddaughter, Catatonic.
Cat, I finally posted it!
Blind Faith
by
catatonic_gungirl
Hey guys!Well, here it is! PLease let me know what you think, so mail me at
catatonic_gungirl@yahoo.com.Have fun - just don't laught in the wrong places!
~Natalie xxx
P.S. By the way, this IS only the first part, I*m writing the second one, so
don't kill me, OK?! *********************************************
IT DOESN'T MEAN MUCH
IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING AT ALL
*********************************************Title: Blind faith (1/2)
Author: Natalie Farr
Summary: When an investigation turns seriously wrong, Mulder and Scully must
deal with a terrible disability between them. Twist on "Mind's Eye".
Featuring Diana Fowley having to go through a lot. Come, my fellow
Diana-tortures!Rating: RSpoilers: The End, Mind's Eye
Category: Mulder/Scully UST. Angst from every side.
Disclaimer: Mulder, Scully, Skinner, and Fowley belong to Chris Carter, 1013,
and Fox Productions. If you'd like to use my story for an episode, please ask me
first. (Yeah, dream on, Natalie) "And I fall down, to tell you I love you.
The night's too long. I'm cold here, without you."
--Sarah McLachlan, "I love you""Blind Faith" (1/2)Part 1: "Through your eyes"
11.23 PM
This is weird. Very weird. OK, so we worked together that one time before, all
three of us...but it's not as easy now.
Now that we're all over the shock of that first meeting, there's a very strong -
almost unreadable - tension between us. Almost jealousy. Or is that my ego
talking?
It is strange how this woman manages to turn up in my life again after all these
years, and suddenly it seems like she never left. But then there's Scully.
I'm trying not to let her see how much it changes her place in my life: Scully's
always been the one I run to tell everything to, but one it's like there's
someone else who is almost easier to talk to. Sometimes it's like I can't stop
talking to her.
I remember that night when we first started talking after she'd returned, and it
just felt so easy. So familiar. I knew she felt it too when she took my hand. No
bridges built up around either of us for protection, no masks to hide under.
Thank God Scully didn't see that, it would have broken her heart.
Hang on, do I even know if I have any power over her heart?
Who knows how she feels?Who knows how any of us feel?What do I even feel?!
Something.I feel something for one of them, and something else for the other.
Or is it the other way around?
I can't help looking in the mirror. Scully's in the back as well, but on my
right so I can't see her, starring through small binoculars at this damn house
we're watching.
'The former residence of a suspect wanted for questioning into the kidnapping
and murder of three women over the past two months', my mind corrects me.
If I get my hands on the person who assigned us to work on this together, I will
have to make sure they never find the body.
Personally I don't think it's likely that he'll show like Scully seems to think,
but then again, it wouldn't be the first time she's proved that she's smarter
than me.I can't see her in the mirror, but see Diana looking back at me. There's
understanding there, and it does straight to my soul even if our contact only
lasts for a second.
"Did that backdoor just move?" Scully asks, still looking closely into the
darkness. I'm amazed she can see anything at all.
"I didn't see anything." I hear Diana comment, and shrug. Scully flashes me a
'For Gods sakes, you guys'-look and I pray Diana can't understand it.
Say something, damn it. "Its pitch black out there; you sure?"
"No, but I think we should check. This is what we're here for." Scully says,
and gets out of the car. We both follow.
I should have known she'd get ticked off being stuck in a car all night with the
woman she probably wishes she'd never met.
Watch out, everyone; Dana Scully's on the move.
"I'll check the back." Mulder said to the two women as they made they're way
around to the front of the house.
Scully took a quick look around, and decided that there wasn't anyone else but
them in that deserted house. "Nothing. Damn it."
"Was that; "damn it, we've got to get this murdering basted before he takes
away the joy from some poor family" or 'damn it, I've gotta get this sucker fast
'cause I DO NOT wanna get back in that car with this woman'?" her mind teased.
"We better just stay for another minute." the woman behind her said. "Will
Mulder be OK?" "Oh, is she asking for it!"
"Dana, be polite to her. This isn't all that bad." "He'll be fine.
Scully turned around to see Fowley smile. "I wish I knew that."
"What do you mean?"She sighed.
"I used to be just like you. I used to know every single thing about him. So
much so that I know what he'd be wearing the next day. And then I left. And it
was one of the worst mistakes of my life." "Really?"
"Yeah, right up there with trying to dye my own hair purple by myself when I
was 14."
Scully laughed, and looked around the side of the house, trying not to look at
her, embarrassed about what she was going to say.
"He'll be the same clothes tomorrow because he'll be working all night, and try
to cover it up by quickly changing into a tie that's just as bad as the one he's
wearing now."Diana laughed shortly, and caught Scully's eye. "I envy you."
Scully looked shocked at her as she turned around to go, but out of the darkness
behind Scully came an arm, grabbing her around the throat.
Scully gasped and tried to scream, but before she could move, her head was
brutally smashed against the cold side of the house. The last thing she saw was
the stars, and heard a high, terrified scream. Then all went back.
Mulder ran as fast as he could around to the other side of the house, gun in
hand. His heart sank when he saw no one there.
"Oh God, where are they?" his mind yelled.
Then he saw it. It was the tiniest movement, but he saw it. He ran the small
distance between them, and knelt down the small unconscious body.Scully.
She had a pulse, but was limp and pale in his arms. A large bruise was already
forming on her forehead, along with cuts. "Scully?"No response.
He looked up and quickly searched for Diana with his eyes, but there wasnothing.
"How could you have let this happen?" his mind screamed at him.
He got out his cell phone and called for an ambulance. When he was done, Scully
had started to stir in his arms, a low, quiet moan in her throat.
"Scully..." he stroked over her cheek.
She opened her eyes a little, but didn't look at him; instead starring blankly
into nothing. "It hurts..." she let out, sounding like a little girl.
"You hang in there. You'll be out of here soon."
"It's so dark...why is everything so dark?"
"It's all right; you got knocked out, that's all. You're just dizzy..."
"I can't find you!" she cried, her hand flying out in front of her to find him,
landing against his chest. "I can't see you..."He took her hand.
"Shh... it's OK. It's gonna be all right."
Scully sat herself up and hugged him tightly, squeezing her eyes shut. Mulder
soothed her calmly, though his mind was racing. What the hell had happened?
ST. JOHN'S HOSPITAL, 6.32 AM
Skinner walked down the hospital hallway towards a tired, frustrated looking
Mulder, sitting in a chair outside one of the rooms. "Agent Mulder."
Mulder looked up at him. "Did they find her?"
"No. There's no sign of her, but they did find her gun nearby in the woods.
What about Scully? "She got knocked out then it started."
"Did she see anything? Could she give a description?Mulder shock his head.
"I haven't asked her." "Why not?"He sighed.
"I think the blow to her head affected her sight. Or he did something to her;
I'm waiting for the doctor to tell me. But she can't see."
Now Skinner was concerned. "Is it temporary?"
"I don't know, they're still trying to find out what happened. The doctor's
still with her."
As if on queue, the door in front of him opened, and a young doctor stepped out.
"Mr. Mulder?"
Mulder stood up and walked over to him as Skinner backed away to observe.
"Is she going to be OK?"
"Well, apart from her sight, she might just have a concussion, I wish I could
say more, but I can't. "What do you mean?"
"Well, for starters, I have no idea what caused this. The blow to her head
didn't do it, and she doesn't have any injection marks. I'm doing some blood
tests to try and find out more.
Chances are that if somebody did this to her on purpose by injection or ingest,
than it'll wear off within the hour." "So we'll know then?"
"Most likely. There isn't much else we can do but wait and see."
"What if it doesn't?" Skinner spoke for the first time.
"Then I sincerely hope we can find out what's caused it from the blood work."
Mulder felt his face turn white when he realised this could be permanent.
7.35 AM
Mulder stood by the door as Scully's doctor slowly removed the bandages from
over her eyes. Scully sat in the middle of the small examining room on a chair,
the doctor sitting in front of her.
"It'll be fine. She can see; this guy just did this to her so that she wouldn't
be able to stop him or ID him later." he thought, knowing it was probably true.
Probably.
Her closed eyes were revealed. Her face was still pale and afraid, though he was
probably the only one who could tell that. You would have known it; her posture
was calm, as well as her breath.She slowly opened her eyes, blinking rapidly.
Mulder felt his hope die and his heart sink down into a sea of despair as she
let her head sink and her hand slip in front of her mouth.
"Nothing?" the doctor asked.
Scully shook her head. He raise her head up, and Mulder felt a horrible feeling
as he looked at her eyes...those beautiful blue eyes...starring sadly off into
nothing.
"That doesn't mean that you won't ever see again. We'll do some more tests and
find out what we can do." he said, examining her eyes.
Scully could feel him touching her eyelid, but she didn't care. The only thing
she was going to do was not cry. Not now. Not with Mulder is the room.
Suddenly, out of no where, light flashed in front of her. She gasped, hope
rising inside her again for a second, until she realised she wasn't seeing what
she should be seeing.
A man hovered in front of her, his face almost unable to be seen in the hard,
blinding light that flooded into the small room from the open door a couple of
feet in front of her.
He waved his hand in front of her, as if to make sure she was awake, a small,
cruel smile on his face.
Scully screamed and darted back, away from him, and heard the chair skid across
the room. She could hear Mulder's voice say her name.What?
Her ears were telling her everything was normal, but her eyes were showing her
something very different.
She was stumbling blindly backwards. Nothing changed in what she was seeing,
like she hadn't moved.
Someone touched her shoulder firmly but gently and though her mind told her it
was Mulder, she pushed him away. "GET AWAY FROM ME!" she yelled.
She back hit the wall behind her and she sank into the corner, her hand over her
eyes, trying to bloke out this terrible image.
He was stroking over her hair and face, hushing her like a baby, but she
couldn't feel it. "GET AWAY! STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
Gentle arms slid around her slowly, a soothing voice whispering to her.
The man was watching away from her, towards the door. He closed it behind him,
leaving her in darkness. The yellow light from under the door the only light,
and she fixed her eyes in it. "Mulder, make it stop!"
"Sh...Calm down, it's OK. No one's going to hurt you."
Scully felt hot tiers on her cheeks, and she held onto Mulder as the small light
faded, and she found herself once again in complete darkness.
9.35 AM, SCULLY'S ROOM
Mulder nervously stepped into Scully's room, and watched her laying motionless
in her bed, then walked over to her. She felt the bed sink next to her, and
turned over to face the person. "Hey." he whispered "How're you doing?"
One hand folded over hers, the other stroked her forehead. Her eyes weren't
bandaged, but it was still terrible to have to see her not knowing where tolook.
"Oh...I've been better."
It was amazing how she'd transformed in those last few hours. All her armour had
been stripped away and now she lay innocent and vulnerable before him.
A little girl who'd got lost on her way home from school. But she seemed more
confidant now that he was with her. "I thought that you'd forgotten about me."
He'd been away from her way too long he realised guiltily. He had said he'd only
be gone a little while, and that was an hour ago.
She needed him now, more than ever. She needed to trust him.
"I'm sorry. I've been trying to convince everyone you're not crazy."
She looked hurt and he instantly regretted it. "I'm not."
The stubbornness in her voice told him it was a fact not to be questioned.
'Good girl, Scully, I knew you were in there.'
"Mulder, I know I saw something." "You actually saw something?" "Yes." "What?"
She paused for a second. "I don't know."
"Something, but you don't know what, scared the crap out of you?"
"Don't you believe me?"
He looked away from her, though it didn't make much difference to Scully.
"Mulder, do you really think I'm pretending I could see for a few minutes? Or
that I've convinced myself I could? That I made myself see it?"
She sat herself up, her gaze falling on his chest.
"Well, news flash, Mulder: Blind people don't hallucinate!"
"Don't call yourself that!"
"DO you have another word for this? I am blind, Mulder. Maybe forever." her
voice quivered. "No. No, I refuse to believe that."
A quivering hand tried to find him and soon rested against his cheek.
"Then believe me. I saw something. I don't know how or why, and it's scaring me
to death. We've both heard of this happening, Mulder. Not like this, but
similar. We both worked on that case."
"Marty Glenn had the ability what her father was seeing...Scully, do you really
think you're seeing through someone else's eyes?"
She nodded slowly, her head falling.
"I saw a man. A man looking down at me, trying to wake me up. Or see if I was
still alive, maybe. I was in a small room, a large wardrobe perhaps. My eyes
were sore, the light hurt. I could hardly see him." "What are you saying?"
She let out a breath. "That I'm seeing what agent Fowley's seeing."
He sat silent for a moment, trying to think. She could imagine just what he is
shocked face looked like; she didn't have to see it. "I can't believe that."
She felt him get off the bed and heard him walk to the door.
"Mulder, don't go!"She heard him stop.
"I know what this is. You'll believe in anything that is painful for anyone
else, but as long as your ideas are right, you're happy. But it isn't so easy
when it effects the people you love, is it?"He didn't answer. "IS IT?!"
"Get some sleep, Scully, you need it."
The door closed, and Scully fell back on the bed and let her tears start.
PLACE UNKNOWN: My God, it's dark in here. And cramped.And cold.
I'm afraid. Afraid to even breathe to loudly. Why?
Because there's a psycho maniac out there who's already killed three women.
You've seen the reports, you know that he'll do.
Don't think about it. Not know. The next time he comes in here you fight him.
You're an FBI agent, for Gods sakes!Why didn't you shot him in the first place?
I tried. It was too dark: I could only see Scully because of the moonlight.
How could I have been so stupid?
Don't think about it. Just try to think of something else until you get the
chance to do anything. What's the first thing that comes to mind?Chinese food.
Not that. I'm too hungry.Mulder. How it used to be.
That first year we worked together. The year we discovered the X-files. He was
young, handsome...
Handsome? No, beyond handsome. Beautiful. He looked so young back then: he was
just a kid. All this work had made him look older than he is. And me. Much more
than him.I should have never left.
Too late to change that now though. Someone's taken what used to be my place.
And it's easy to see that he loves her love than he ever loved me. Or maybe I
should say more than I ever wished he would.SAME TIME, ST. JOHN'S HOSPITAL
She's not crazy.She's not.Maybe she is seeing something. Or she thinks she is.
For Gods sakes, I'm not going to believe that until I absolutely have to.
Why not?Because I don't want to believe that she's going through something that
frightening. Even if it is a way of finding Diana. I don't want her going
through anything like that.I guess she was right.
I don't really care about most other people getting hurt apart from her.
She knows me better than I do, and she's proved it again. I should hate it when
she does that, but I don't. Actually it's very reassuring to know that I don't
have to take care of my own head. Who would want to?
She was right about another thing, too.
I don't want the people I love to be hurt.I don't want her to ever be hurt.Ever.
Because I love her.I love her.I do.10.17 PM
Scully screamed. A long, sharp terrified scream. She was paralysed with the
cold fear hat ran over her body. The man before her pulled her to the floor,
hand running all over her body.
"This isn't real, this is someone else' reality." "Poor woman." "Poor me."
Her hands fought him, swinging above her, but only finding emptiness.
The man slapped her face, and Scully instinctively covered herself, crying
helplessly. She was a second away from scratching out her own eyes rather than
go through this. She probably would have if one of the nurses hadn't grabbed her
wrists at that moment. 'God, was I screaming that loud?'
She started struggling against her, her visions making her panic.
He was hurting her.She could actually feel the pain throbbing inside her.
"NO, DON'T...!"She could hear Mulder's shocked voice in the distance.
'Mulder, make it stop. Please. You're the only one who could believe me. Why
won't you?'
Before she knew it her wrists wee in restraints, laying helplessness at her
sides, now unable to even try to get this phantom away from her. She had to just
lay there and take it as he--- "NO...PLEASE STOP!"
She felt a little painful prick on her arm and she realised it would only make
it worse if she had to lay there unable to move for the drugs, having to go
through this torture. "No, PLEASE DON'T, I have to fight him!"
It was too late. The drugs were already working, and all their voices drifted
farther away.Not until then did she remember that Mulder had called her "Dana".
Mulder had been standing by the door in shock in what seemed to be a long,
horrible nightmare. Scully was hysterical, trying to fight off anyone who came
near her. Every one of her screams was a knife to his heart.
Doctor Salas injected her with some kind of drug to keep him calm; he hadn't
caught the name, even though the doctor had had to yell it to the nurse over
Dana's screams. They'd grown even louder now that she couldn't fight back at her
demon.
She continued to yell her eyes full of horror, starring up at some invisible
terror.Then he noticed it.
He walked over to her for the first time, and looked into her eyes.
"Doctor..." he tried, but he didn't hear it over her screams. "Doctor!"
This time he noticed. "You shouldn't be in here..." "Look at her!"
Doctor Salas looked at her eyes as well.Her pupils were small.
They were registering something.Obviously not what they were.
Dana stopped yelling after that, and fixed her terrified glare at the ceiling.
Mulder sat down on the side of the bed and stroked her hand gently. She seemed
hardly able to move now, but whatever she was seeing was still very clear to
her. Mulder's face was full of sadness, guilt, and fear as he realised she's
been right. She wasn't crazy. "What is it you see?"3.46 AM
Dana woke later and was actually relieved to find herself in blackness. Up
until now she'd felt afraid and outraged to be trapped in this immense black
void; but after that it was quite a relief not to see anything after earlier.
And something was different. Something made her feel safe.
When she noticed the sound of someone's breath, and she could feel it against
her hand.She smiled a weak smile.Mulder.
Mulder started to drift back to continuousness as he felt someone stir at his
head. Someone was stroking his hair.
He looked up and saw Dana's hand strained against the restraint in order to
touch him. It moved him close to tiers.
"Hey." he whispered, taking her hand after unfastening the restraint.
She smiled. "You asleep?" he asked, noticing her eyes were still closed.
She shook her head.
"I like to keep my eyes close. Then I can pretend I've got a choice whether to
see or not."Now he did have to swallow back his tears. "How're you feeling?"
"Better."
"You gave me a real fright there. Dr. Salas thinks you're a nut." he half
joked, and she smiled a little. "Tell him I'm sorry."
She pause for a moment, her eyes open now. She could feel they were very close;
she could feel his breath on her face. "Do you?"
"No, I don't think you're crazy."
His voice was so soft and gentle that it stirred something deep down inside her.
"I though you didn't believe me."
"I do now. I watched your eyes; you were definitely seeing something. The
doctor doesn't know how. I don't know why. Or what." "You don't want to."
"What did you see?"Dana looked away. "He raped her."
Mulder felt his whole body start to go cold at the thought. Anger at that man,
sympathy for Diana and the fragile woman lying in the bed before him.
"I'm sorry." "It was horrible..." she was near tears.
"I know." he kissed her forehead, then pause for a moment. "But it wasn't real.
Not really. You just had to be a witness."
"But I felt it! I felt the pain, I felt what she was going through."
"And you have no idea why?"
"No! I have no idea. I just want it to stop. I don't care if I never see again,
if some one would just make it stop. I can't go through anymore."
That hurt for both of them, but Mulder knew he had to push her. And he hated
himself for it.
"Dana, you know what you have to do. You've got this ability; I don't know how
or why, but I know you can help her. Help me." "No..."
"I know it's horrible. But you're the only one who can."
"I don't know where she is." "Have you seen the man who's holding her?"
She nodded. "Can you give a description?" "Yeah."
Suddenly she tensed up, and gasped. "What is it?"She moaned fearfully.
"Can you see something?"She nodded. He took her hand.
"Just relax. Remember, you're only observing. You're not there, so no one can
hurt you. No matter how real it seems."
"Ok." she breathed out in a large breath, but still afraid. She squeezed his
hand. "What do you see?"
"Mm...It's dark. So dark, and...cold. There's only a little light from under
the door..."
She was starring up at the ceiling, her eyes daring around the room.
She was there.She was really.
Mulder couldn't even imagine what she was going through.
"She hasn't moved. She's in shock, she couldn't move. Not since he...Mulder?"
"I'm right here." he held her hand with both of his.
"Mulder he's in here. He's sitting in the corner...watching me..."
"Watching HER. He can't hurt you. I promise." "It's fading..."
Mulder watched closely as her pupils became large and unseeing again.
Dana started to cry, and Mulder held her and didn't let go until morning.9.35 AM
He woke up by a knocking on the door and quickly realised that this wasn't the
best position to be found in. Scully lay fast asleep on her side, her hand
around his neck. In sleep he'd managed to rest his head against her chest and
shoulder, so her cheek was in his hair. It was warm, loving, and safe.
At least it had been until Skinner had opened the door; as this probably wasn't
the best way for two partners to be caught in by their boss.
Mulder stood up carefully not to wake her, ran a hand quickly through his hair,
and walked into the hall to talk. "Have you been here all night?"
Mulder didn't answer, as it was painstakingly obvious. "How's she doing?"
"Not to good."
"I thought I should let you know that they haven't found anything. It doesn't
look good." "Scully...might be able to tell us where she is." "What? How?"
"I don't think you'll buy it, but..." "MULDER!!"
The voice was an unexpected blow, and it sent both men running to her.
Mulder ran to her side. "Scully..."
"Mulder, I'm running! I'm trying to get away from him..."
"What is she?" he asked calmly, taking her hand.
"It's familiar...I don't know. Somewhere...somewhere she feels safe. She's
trying to find the way...to you. She's trying to get home to you...to...where
you are."
Sadness almost overwhelmed her as she realised that she was must only be
standing in the middle of a love, not part of it. This woman was in shock and
the only place she wanted to be was with him.
"Mulder, go. Go home, go get her. Now." she felt him hesitate beside her. "GO!"
And he went. Skinner stood in the hall outside, but he didn't stop to explain.
The next two hours were terrible, but they seemed to float by.
When he got to his street he searched up and down them while it was still dark.
Hardly anyone was about, so she probably wouldn't have been spotted. But there
was nothing.He had to find her.
If Scully had been wrong it would mean that he would be able to find her in
time, and he'd loose her. It also meant that Scully was losing her mind, and
then he'd loose her too.
He finally ran up the stairs to his apartment and his heart stopped.
She lay there, her back against the wall in a sitting position. She'd managed to
come all this way - from wherever she'd been - to stumble up to his apartment
and pass out by his door.
At first he thought she was dead, but quickly made sure that she wasn't.Relief.
An hour later he was back in the same hospital, but now in the emergency room.
After the doctors had been working on her for (what seemed) a long time, he went
in to see her. He looked at her still body. Machines beeped slowly but surely,
an oxygen mask over her mouth. She was bruised, cut, and broken, but she was
there.
The doctor had said she wouldn't have managed to walk far, so police and FBI
were searching within a few blocks of his apartment building. Scully's
description was a great help. This was all thanks to her, actually.
He could only stay a little while, which was probably best for his own sanity
now that he had both women he loved in the same hospital. And on his conscience.
"It wasn't my fault," he kept trying to tell himself, "It's wasn't my fault."
It took a moment for Dana to realise that she could see. Light in her eyelids
made her open them, and found herself looking at a bright hospital ceiling.
'He found her. He found her and now that I don't need to see the visions
anymore I can see again.'
She looked to the side of the bed and saw Mulder watching her.
"Mulder..." she smiled and reached out for him, but her arm didn't appear in
her own view.Then she realised she wasn't happening to her.
Mulder watched as Diana slowly opened her eyes and focused on the ceiling. Then
she looked at him, and fear crossed her eyes for a moment. Than relief when she
was who is was. He smiled. "Mulder, you need a shave."
The tired, soft voice with a giggle in it caught Skinner's attention. He'd been
waiting outside Scully's room for a while; watching over her until her knight in
shinning armour returned.
Now he glanced through the half open door and looked shocked at the strange
scene before him.
Scully lay smiling up at nothing, tears rolling down her cheeks. Her hand had
tried to reach something - or someone - but now dropped down to the bed again.
"I didn't think I'd ever see you again."
Mulder stroked over her forehead, stroking her hair back in place.
"It'll be all right. You're safe now."He kissed her hair ever so gently.
Scully started to cry as he leaned in and kissed her forehead, becoming blurred,
and slowly started to fade. She didn't mind. Not really.
She knew it was the end for her visions, and this felt like her reward for doing
a good job.
And she didn't mind never seeing again if the last thing she got to see was
Mulder.
"I love you..." she whispered as the vision shattered, faded, and the dark
night came.
Skinner quietly closed the door behind him - this was none of his business.