Moon

 

	Look at me
	Look at me, what do you see?
	Do you see the façade or me
	What you saw is my mask
	which I put on as if it weren’t such a task.
	You saw someone always ready
	to reach out and hold you steady.
	Someone who seemed full of joy and smiles
	helping you see your life as worthwhile.
	But if you saw me for who I am
	you would see I too need a comforting hand.
	I was a strong tower to lean on
	but that tower just caved in.
	No more can I hide
	the problems inside.
	You were so used to seeing me strong
	How could anything be wrong?
	Yet, to truly see me for me
	one would have to see the grief
	Did you find the pain, the sorrow
	my wish there be no tomorrow?
	What about the hurt, the tears,
	the problems, the worries and the fears?
	When you looked is this what you saw?
	No, because you didn’t see me at all.

 

 

	Drowning
	A saddened sigh escapes my lips
	as sorrow holds me in its grip.
	There is an empty place inside
	where love did once reside.
	But now all I know is the pain I feel.
	Will my grieving heart ever heal?
	I’ve seen so many deaths in my life
	and some awful, hurtful strife.
	My heart and spirit have been broken so often
	Can nothing be done to make the pain soften?
	I’ve grown so weary of this hurt and pain
	Isn’t there any joy that remains?
	Silently my tears lull me to sleep
	yet, sleep I can’t for the pain is too deep.
	I wonder if life is even worthwhile
	to bother putting on a smile.
	For my smile has lost its gaiety
	. . . Perhaps I am drowning in self pity.

 

 

	Angry words fill the night
	like a cold wind with a bitter bite
	causing all joy
	to smash to pieces
	like a hated toy
	and so, the yells and screams
	continue
	tearing jagged edges
	in my fragile self-esteem

 

 

	I am a ray of sunshine,
	but the solar eclipse
	of despair
	has given me
	a black shroud
	of pain.

 

 

	Gently fall the golden leaves
	twisting, turning in the breeze
	Falling softly to the ground
	like the tears which in me are found
	A saddened sigh escapes my lips
	my life resembles a battered ship.
	The battles raged, the hurt increased
	my weary soul just couldn’t find peace.
	These storms came and went
	leaving me torn and spent
	Oh, the agonizing, wrenching despair
	why did no one show they cared?
	My heart screams out in bitter pain
	there’s nothing left in life to gain
	The bitterness, hurt and anger received
	makes me which I were deceased
	I’m human too, you know
	I hurt too even if it doesn’t show.

 

 

	Slowly the sunrise
	fades into sorrow
	with sunbeams
	turned desolate
	by winter’s storm
	causing all joy
	to be replaced
	with pain
	where none
	could see
	the golden shine
	of life.

 

 

	As I look through
	the frosted glass
	of uncertainity
	I am faced
	with a thunderbolt
	of reality
	which seems
	to offer
	piercing indifference
	to the purple
	royalty
	of life’s essence.

 

	Angry words
	like waves
	wash away dreams
	as if they were sand.
	Then suddenly these cease,
	but not for long.
	Once again
	pain wells up
	as the sea
	of rage
	tosses
	and tumbles
	the broken pieces
	of love.
	Until at last
	it's energy is spent
	and it leaves
	a broken heart
	stranded
	on the shore.

 

 
 

	An attempted smile
	tries to hide
	the pain,
	tears
	and sorrows
	of grief's
	bleeding heart
	where love,
	is lost,
	taken away,
	and trampled
	by unthinking
	words.

 

 

	A l o n e,
	without a thought
	as to what my life could be
	I stand dejected,
	lonely, a
	f
	a
	l
	l
	e
	n
	tree.

 

	liquid pain
	of fallen dreams
	bleeding
	in pale light
	of day
	turning starry
	thoughts
	crimson
	from despise.

 

	crystal skies
	shed light
	on the fragility
	of life

 

 

	Wounded hearts
	filled with tears
	kept inside
	for many years
	Until the joyful façade
	shatters one day
	and leaves
	a waterfall of pain.

 

© May, 1998--Heather Dozier

glad_heart@yahoo.com

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