Welcome my children to this house of the Lord.  We knights at the Mystic Order of the Golden Monkey fight not only for our glory, but for His as well.  Our Order's patron saint is Saint George the Curious, the only monkey to be beatified as of yet.  Saint George has interceded on our behalf many times before and we continue to be grateful for his aid.  We pray for the

blessing of God, the great monitor of our deeds, in our war with the Saracens.  While the Mystic Order of the Golden Monkey adheres strictly to Christian principle, we do embrace the aid of those of the other religions of our Father, as long as they value the lives of monkeys above those of humans and the glory of God above their own glory.  Don't forget to find the collection plate before you leave, and God be

Our Celebrant and Staff

Pastor: 
    Sir Loin of the Winged Buffalo,
        High Clerist of the Order

Deacon:
    Sir MOtto of the Olde Haddoning     
        Field, Grazing Land of the 
        Mighty Winged Buffalo

Personal Secretary to the High Clerist:
      Renee (Kristen), Wench of the 
        Great Unfrosted Chocolate Cake, 
        Fruit of Loin's Loins (the cake, 
        that is)

Greetings my brethren (and wenchren too).  I am the Sir Loin of the Winged Buffalo, High Clerist of the Order and Pastor of the Basilica of Saint George the Curious.  I welcome you to our flock.  I am happy to see that you have chosen not only to honor the will of our commanders, but that of our Lord God as well.  It is a precept of our Order that we shall defend all of our simian brothers.  Remember the sacrifices that have been made for us, namely the tragic dismemberment of the prophet Clucky, behold his foot!  Only by our service can we be sure that their deaths are not in vain.  Go forth and destroy the Saracens all week long, but I want to see you all in Mass on Sunday!