Susanne: How did a mall end up the downtown area of the Imperial city of Konan?
Kristsi: That's a good question.
Remy: Don't ask me, it's the writers.
Meredith: Well, I don't care HOW it got here. I'm more than ready to shop!
Celly: Well, no kidding! We've only been here a little over an hour and you've bought out almost the entire place!
Anaera: Of course, she's not carrying any of it herself.
Meredith: Of course not. That's what I've got Zeke-- Zeke?
[everyone stops and looks around]
Nyx: Where'd they go?
Mercy: There they are!
[the girls see their Guardians -- who are overloaded with packages -- gawking and drooling on front of a Victoria's Secret]
Roger: Hey, Susanne, that one would look really good on you...
[Susanne says nothing, just Looks at him. Roger steps away from the window]
Dion: Actually, I was just thinking that that red one would be really nice...
Celly: But I already have one. Remember? You gave it to me for my birthday last year. [she stands up on her tiptoes and gives him a peck on the cheek. Things progress from there.]
[Everyone sweatdrops or starts gagging]
Remy: God, how can he do that without dropping anything?
Susanne: Get a room, already!
Dion and Celly smile.
Susanne: NO! Forget I said anything!
Dion and Celly: 'Kay.
Seth: You know, Nyx...
Nyx: [pulls out a gun abnormally fast and points it at his forehead] Shut up! Just SHUT UP! Not a single word!!!
Milton: Now now, calm down... [glares at Seth, cracks his knuckles]
P-kun: [holding up some lingerie] What do you think, Orpheus? Maribou feathers or sequins?
Orpheus: [backs away and looks about ready to jump down to the first floor] I'm straight, dammit! Get that thing away from me!!!
Everyone sweatdrops.
Mercy: Wait a minute... Kristsi, where's your Guardian? You didn't put Kell in your HammerSpace again, did you?
Kristsi: [trying to hide an evil smile] Kell? Who's Kell?
Anaera: [looks around. Suddenly she points] Ooh! Look! Ice cream!!!
[The girls make a run for it, leaving their Guardians to carry all of the bags]
Susanne: [hits the counter first] Double fudge sundae!!
Anaera: Mint chip!!! Mint chip!!!!!
Mercy: Orange sorbet!!!
Meredith: Vanilla! Mmmm...
Remy: Chocolate, please.
Celly: [agonizing over the choices] Uh.... um... is this gonna be on the test? Cookies and cream! No, chocolate! No, vanilla! No... [spies something she finally wants] Can I have an Icee?
Meredith: Kristsi, don't you want anything?
Kristsi: I don't know... I'm not that hungry. I think I'll just have a Seven-Up.
Nyx: Two scoops, one butter pecan, one coffee. And make it fast!
[The girls are happily licking their ice cream when the men show up]
Zeke: Hey, where's ours?
Girls: Nani? Oh, were we supposed to order for you, too?
Roger: It's okay, we can get it. [searching through his pockets -- not easy when carrying that many packages]
Susanne: Here, Rog! [tosses him a wallet]
Roger: Hey!! Where'd you get this!
Susanne: Well, I ran out of cash... and it's not like you've got a shortage.
[Celly and Dion are sipping the Icee through two straws, Seth is gawking at the girls passing by the food court, P-kun is paging through Better Homes and Gardens]
Orpheus: Can I have a rainbow sorbet?
[There is silence. Everyone looks at him.]
Orpheus: [puzzled, but finishes ordering] ... and rainbow sprinkles too.
Nyx: Rainbow...
Remy: ... sorbet?
[Anaera drops her ice cream and starts laughing. Everyone starts to laugh as well.]
Orpheus: What?!? What?!? Why are you all laughing?!?
[P-kun goes over to him and whispers in his ear. Orpheus pales and stares at his ice cream]
Orpehus: But... I like rainbow sorbet...
Meredith: [trying not to laugh] That's alright, Orpheus. That's a decision that you have to make by yourself.
Celly: [joining in] Meredith is right. No matter what you decide, Orpheus, we'll all be right here to support you.
Susanne: Of course. You can always count on us for friendship. But you'll have to get your own clothes...
Orpheus: [drops ice cream] NOOOO!!!!! I'm straight, dammit!!! Do you hear me?? STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!
[A mother bringing her small children into the ice cream shop abruptly turns and ushers the children back out]
Kristsi: Kay, let's go! I want to hit the rest of the stores before the mall closes!
Susanne: Yeah, me too! [pulls out a "Konan Express" card] I've got a credit card, AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!!! [runs out of store, closely followed by the other girls]
Roger: [pats his pockets] Wait a minute... GET BACK HERE WITH MY WALLET!!!! [runs after her]
some time later.........
Seth: Now, where did those girls go?
Milton: Hey, you're her official Guardian. You're supposed to know.
Seth: Don't bring that up, wolf-boy.
Milton: How'd you like a nice walk in the sun, vampire-boy?
Dion: Hey, you can't do that, I already threatened him with that!
[Milton rolls his eyes but says nothing]
meanwhile..............
Mercy: Wow, Susanne, how much did you buy?
Susanne: [looks at her packages] All Things Must Pass, Looking East, Tommy, In Through The Out Door, Bringing It All Back Home, Late For The Sky, Quadrophenia, Echo, Houses Of The Holy... [continues listing off albums]
[girls sweatdrop]
Remy: Don't you think Roger will be upset that you charged all that to his credit card?
Susanne: ... Running On Empty, Surrealistic Pillow... huh?
Remy: Never mind.
Meredith: Hey, there's a sale at Lerner's!
[girls rush to the store, come out some time later, laden with more packages]
Kristsi: Ah, three new outfits... I feel better.
Anaera: Hang on, there's a bench... I need to get this stuff organized.
[girls all stand around the bench, admiring each other's purchases]
Random guy #1: Hey, ladies. How's it goin?
Meredith: [grin] Hi! We're good, how are you?
Random guy #2: Much better now, thanks. What's your name?
[Susanne elbows Meredith, who looks at her confusedly]
and at the same time..........
Dion: You know, the least you can do is come up with original lines!
Milton: Well, excuse me! I never heard you say it!
Roger: There they are!
[guys stop arguing, look up to see the girls surrounded by a group of random guys]
Nyx: If I wanted to tell you my name, I'd have told it to you by now!
Susanne: Let's make this clear: I am NOT available!
Celly: Leave now or I swear to god you'll be sor- [sees Dion come up behind the guy talking to her and grins]
[all the girls turn to look at what Celly is smiling at. They grin as well when they see their Guardians coming up]
Kristsi: Why do I suddenly feel like singing "My Boyfriend's Back"?
[The girls giggle and the random boys around them finally turn around smirk when they see the Guardians approaching. All of them are still carrying the bags that the girls saddled them with. Sadly, all the bags have women's store labels printed on them]
Remy: Dammit! I knew I shouldn't have let P-kun buy that package from the Leather Shoppe.
Random guy #3: Get a load of these pansies.
[the group of guys laughs, while the Guardians narrow their eyes]
Anaera: [takes a deep breath] Ah... smell the testosterone...
Meredith: Should we flattered, or worried?
Celly: I think it's sweet. [she pushes her way past the random males and hugs Dion] Who needs these pre-pubescent males when I have a real man? [everyone sweatdrops]
Susanne: Roger? Do you feel like defending my honor from these worthless hoodlums? I mean, Dionysus can't have all the fun, right?
[the girls murmur in agreement. The Guardians set down the packages and crack their knuckles. The random males pale]
Roger: Suzie, are these boys bothering you? [grins, rolls up shirtsleeves]
[random male who was paying attention to Susanne turns gray and hides behind one of the others]
[Zeke is glowering at yet another random male, who looks around before quickly ducking into the nearest Spencer's]
[Milton and Dion both take another step toward the remaining random males, who quickly scatter]
Orpheus: Good thing they didn't try to pick a fight with me... they'd never know what happened to them.
[minna-san sweatdrop]
Mercy: I've actually lost my taste for shopping... shall we go home?
P-kun: We might as well. I've got some laundry to do.
Meredith: Well, come on, guys.
[everyone starts walking]
Nyx: [turns back] Anou... Celly? Dion? You coming? Anou...
Celly & Dion: [break off liplock] Nani?