A hippie was walking down the road one day when a genie pounced on her. "Today is your lucky day!" said the genie. "I'll give you two wishes. What will be your first wish?" The hippie thinks for a few seconds and says, "I want a never ending joint." So the genie snaps his fingers and there is this king-sized joint. The hippie gives it a light and after a few hits the joint is still the same length. Next the genie asks "... And number 2?" The hippie replies, "This is really cool man! Gimme another one!"

How do you know when deadheadshave been staying with you?/They're still there

How do you know when they're gonna leave?/When the phone bill comes

Did you hear about the deadhead that studied a week for a drug test?

Why do deadheads swirl their arms when they dance?/To keep the music out of their eyes

How do you keep a deadhead in suspense?