10. Season won't end in typical wildcard game heartbreak for fans, but rather in Week Thirteen
9. Lions won't even be noticed as Pistons continue unbeaten streak through December
8. Higher draft pick for Clay Ford to trade for benchwarmer
7. No possibility of Kordell Stewart Hail Mary beating Lions in Super Bowl
6. One less game=one less misuse of Barry
5. Sight of Wayne in Arctic Gear on Lambeau Field sidelines ruins festive holiday spirit
4. Wayne Fontes-Homer Simpson parallel would be too easy for Fox; give them a challenge!
3. A Lions Super Bowl win would boost Ford profits, cripple UAW/Ford agreement, send shockwaves through economy, and we would end up with a nuclear holocaust
2. Sure would help me in my football pool
1. Wayne Fontes provides humor after San Francisco lost: "We're 8-8. That's better than 7-9, 6-10, 5-11, 4-12, 3-13, 2-14, 1-15, and 0-16. We played our hearts out tonight. There's no quit in this football team."
This list will
next be changed 11-13-96. Come back then!