Sebastien was lying beside him, staring at the ceiling. He was severely depressed and his mind was filled with doubts. The biggest one was whether Claude still loved him. It seemed like whenever he asked his husband if he did, Claude always said "Yes, but..." and followed it with something that was bothering him about Sebastien’s behavior. Sebastien needed unconditional love. No buts. Just once he wished Claude would answer yes and leave it at that. But he never did.

"Claude?" Sebastien whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Do you love me?"

He did it again. "Yes, but you scare me. Your mood swings, an’ how detached you seem all de time..."

Sebastien sighed. Just once...

"You spend all your time at de greenhouse an’ when you are here, I feel like I’m not part of your life...like you don’ wan’ be ‘round me anymore..." Claude admitted softly.

"I'm moody by nature. I go to dat greenhouse... spend so much time dere... so you don' feel de brunt of de majority of my mood swings. I detach myself to try an' find some balance. And now I jus' feel like a failure, b'cause I'm not sure how to show you, besides t'rough physical contact, dat I love you." Sebastien told him.

Deep in his heart, Sebastien had convinced himself that if Claude knew the real him, he’d want nothing to do with him, so he tried to mold himself into someone he thought Claude would love, while hiding the real person deep inside. It hurt to do that, but he loved Claude and would do anything for him.

Claude needed more from the relationship than he was getting. "I don’ know what to do...I'm lost..."

"So am I...if...if you’d be happier...livin’ wit’out me...den I’ll go..."

Claude nearly panicked. "No...it’s not...I wouldn’...it’s jus’...I feel like our entire relationship is based on sex an' while dat's good...it's not nearly enough...dere has to be more'n dat...an' dere isn'..."

"What do you want me to do?" Sebastien asked.

"Be yourself...I feel like I don' really know you. Spend more time wit' me...jus' t'ings like talkin' an' bein' together wit'out it bein' physical. I feel like you're pushin' me away an' dat scares me. I love you, but I need more'n jus' sex. Maybe we should get out of dese tunnels for awhile...leave de kids wit' Mercy or somethin' an' check into a hotel for awhile...I don' know...I wan' work on dis, but you're so distant it's hard to know where to start..." Claude said.

They discussed going on a little trip, but Sebastien was more than a little distant and unreadable about it, and Claude sighed. This caused Sebastien to retreat even further into himself, which in turn made Claude think a trip wasn’t such a good idea. He even began doubting that they should still be together.

"Maybe we should t’ink t’ings over..." Sebastien muttered. He got up and left the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. He sat down at the table and started writing in his journal. As he did so tears dripped onto the pages unceasingly.

Claude stayed in the bedroom. He curled up in a fetal position and cried as if his heart was breaking.

Sebastien eventually fell asleep at the table, and the journal fell from his hands onto the floor. Claude, hearing the noise it made, got up and went out. He saw the journal on the floor, open to the recent entry, and picked it up. He shouldn’t have, and he knew it, but he did it anyway. He read what Sebastien had written, about needing unconditional love and being afraid that Claude could never love him the way he needed him to and other such things. That was all he needed to see. He put the journal back and went back into the bedroom, not bothering to wipe the salty tears as they fell down his cheeks.

Sebastien’s journal was quite the read, but Claude didn’t go back far enough to realize that. The book was filled with exactly how Sebastien felt and thought; it was a true testimony to his personality and spirit. And it detailed just how much he had changed himself in an effort to win Claude’s unconditional love. It also told of his depression and how he hadn’t eaten in days because he was so miserable.

Claude sat on the edge of the bed they shared, and cried. His heart was starting to break and it hurt like hell.

Sebastien woke up and heard Claude crying. He concluded that it was his fault and instantly hated himself for it. "I’m a worthless piece of shit..." he whispered to himself.

Claude was unaware that Sebastien was awake. He quietly talked to himself through his tears. "I hate dis...I need him...but I don’ know what to do..."

Sebastien got up and leaned against the wall. He was feeling weak, woozy. It wasn’t good. "If he ever sees the real me...he’ll hate me...he’ll push me away...I can’ let dat happen..."

Claude sobbed to himself. "He t’inks I hate him...Dieu..."

Sebastien kept rambling. "So I’ll jus’ keep pretendin’ to be somethin’ I’m not...b’cause I can’ live wit’out him." He suddenly realized he was seeing spots and having a hard time staying conscious, so he got up, reeling, and opened the door to the bedroom. "Claude?"

Claude looked up. "Yeah...?"

"Seein’ spots is a bad t’ing, right...?" He sank against the doorframe.

"Yes!"

Claude did the only thing a smart spouse would do. He yelled to the twins to stay put and call Mercy if they needed anything. Then he picked up the nearly unconscious Sebastien and ran through the tunnels to the entrance. And once he got to the surface, he ran to the hospital. They needed Dr. Samson.

Awhile later, Sebastien was checked into the hospital and under Dr. Samson’s care. And it was rather obvious from the short, unemotional responses he was giving to the doctor’s questions that he wasn’t happy about it at all. Claude started to think he hadn’t done the right thing, but he was worried about Sebastien and it was the only thing he could think of to do at the time.

If Claude and Dr. Samson had read Sebastien’s journal, they would have discovered that Sebastien was starving himself due to his intense fear of losing Claude. But they didn’t know that. And after much questioning, Dr. Samson left the men in peace.

Claude had retreated to a corner of the room and cried softly. Sebastien closed his eyes and took a brief rest. When he opened them again and saw that Claude was still crying, he pushed away the food Dr. Samson had left for him.

When Claude saw him do that, he cried even harder. He didn’t understand Sebastien’s behavior and saw it the only way he could; he felt that Sebastien was starving himself in an attempt to kill himself because he didn’t think Claude loved him. It wasn’t the first time Sebastien had tried to commit suicide, so in Claude’s eyes it was a logical explanation to something otherwise unexplainable.

Internally, both men were terrified of the same thing. Sebastien was afraid that Claude hated him and was going to leave and it was ripping him a part. While Claude was being ripped apart by his feelings that he was a lousy husband, to drive Sebastien to try to starve himself to death.

Claude sat there, his head in his hands. His heart was just aching and it hurt like nothing he’d ever experienced.

"Claude...?"

He didn’t look up. He couldn’t. "Yeah?"

"Do you love me?" Sebastien was afraid of what the answer would hold.

Claude still didn’t look up. He was afraid to. "I’m not sure I should answer dat right now..." It wasn’t that he didn’t love Sebastien; he did, with all his heart. But he wasn’t able to answer it without the accompanying ‘but...’ included.

"Oh."

"I need someone who can give me more than just a sexual relationship. I do love you. It's jus'...it's not enough...I need somethin' more'n what we have..." Claude continued softly.

"I don’ know if I can give you what you need..." Sebastien admitted.

Claude remembered what he’d read in the journal. "An’ I don’ know if I can give you what you need an’ still keep my sanity..."

Sebastien stared at the ceiling. "We’ve dug ourselves into a deep hole…de question now is can we get out of it together, or is dis de end?"

"I don’ know..."

"Dey say if you love somethin’ you should let it go..." Sebastien reflected.

"Mmm..." Claude finally looked up. Tears glistened in his green eyes. "I love you, but I can' give you what you need...not if I wan' stay sane...maybe we shouldn' continue to be together...all it's doin' is hurtin' both of us an' I care too much 'bout you to see you hurtin' like dis..."

Sebastien nodded, his eyes also glistening with tears. He knew what Claude was trying to do. "I understand...I don’ wan’ hurt you...I care too much ‘bout you...maybe we would be better off..."

Claude finally stood. "I took you here b’cause I didn’ know what else to do an’ I was scared. I’m sorry. I jus’ didn’ know what to do."

"It’s okay. Once I get outta here, I’m gon’ move to Slidell...adieu Claude..."

Claude removed the ring from his finger and set it on the table beside Sebastien’s bed. "Bye..." He then left quickly, almost running out of the hospital. He didn’t want Sebastien to see him break down.

Sebastien looked at the ring for a few moments and as tears rolled down his cheeks, he fell into a pained, dreamless sleep.

Claude barely made it outside the hospital before his pain overcame him and he broke down. He slipped into an alley, sat on the damp ground, hugged his knees to his chest and bawled.

Danielle sensed something was wrong with him and went looking for him. "You jus’ separated from Feef, didn’ you...?"

Claude nodded, still crying.

She knelt down beside him and wrapped her arms around him. "I know what you’re goin’ t’rough. It hurts. I know it does." It amazed her as he cried into her shoulder that his body, which was normally so strong and powerful, was shaking and trembling. His entire being was filled with pain and heartache.

"I know you won’ believe me...but de pain will go away. De wounds will heal..." Danielle whispered softly as she held him.

Claude just sobbed. It hurt so bad he couldn’t even speak. He had never felt this level of heartbreak before.

Danielle didn’t know what else to do to calm him down, so she softly sang old lullabies that Tante Mattie used to sing to them when they were little. Claude felt like he would never be okay again, and said so, but Danielle insisted that while it would take time, he would get better.

Eventually, he felt stable enough to get up and go back to the tunnels. They did so; Claude’s body shook the whole way. He knew the twins wouldn’t really be sad that Sebastien wasn’t going to be around anymore, but he was devastated and every step broke his heart a little more.

The twins took the news the way he thought they would, and for some reason that hurt too. Late that night after they were in bed, Claude lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling as the tears flowed freely from his eyes.

Danielle came to check on him. "Claude?"

He didn’t move. "...Yeah...?"

"Talk to me." She sat beside him.

"I can’ do dis..."

"Yes you can."

"Non, I can’. I can’ live here...I can’ do it..." He sobbed.

"In de tunnels?"

"Non, jus’ here...his t’ings are here...everythin’ of his is here..." His voice got quieter. "De bed even smells like him..."

"Movin’ might be a good idea for de time bein’...Want me to help you pack?"

Claude nodded.

"Okay."

They spent the rest of the night packing up his things and the twins’ things and in the morning when the twins woke up, Claude told them they were moving, for the time being. They were okay with that.

Danielle looked at him. "Where were you plannin’ on goin’ dat isn’ already taken?"

"I don’ know..."

"I t’ink I do..." Danielle smiled. "Dere’s a place near where Henri was livin’ b’fore moved in wit’ Emil."

"Not too close to de greenhouse is it...?" Claude asked, nearly choking on the word ‘greenhouse’.

"Non."

"Okay."

Danielle took them to the vacant tunnel area and helped with the unpacking. Then, once the twins were settled in their new rooms reading, Claude lay down on the bed, which wasn’t the one from the old place. Danielle sat there and watched over him. He didn’t move, didn’t blink, and didn’t speak, for so long that it started to worry her.

"Claude?"

"Mm?"

"You gon’ be okay?"

"Mm."

Danielle telepathically asked Emil to keep an eye on Claude and stood. "I’m gon’ go. Call me if you need me."

"Mm."

Once she left, Claude curled up on the bed and cried. His heart broken, he softly whispered,

"Sebastien..."

Over at the hospital, Sebastien wasn’t having an easy time of it either. He ate a little bit of food to keep Dr. Samson from yelling at him, but his heart wasn’t in it. He didn’t want to get better. Didn’t see the point in it now.

Dr. Samson joined him. "Is there something you’d like to talk about?"

"Claude an’ I d’cided it would be best if we separated..."

"I see. And do you think that’s the best course of action at this point?"

Sebastien sighed. "Sadly, oui. I love him, but I can’ give him what he needs...an’ he can’ give me what I need while stayin’ sane..."

"I’m sorry to hear that."

"It’s gon’ hurt for awhile..."

"Yes."

Sebastien tried to be optimistic. "But I t’ink...we’ll both be stronger an’ better for it in de end."

Dr. Samson nodded. "I hope you’re right."

Danielle wasn’t having an easy time of it either. She had fully devoted herself to her son, but that was it. She blamed herself so completely for Grace’s death, and was so consumed by guilt and pain over it that she stopped caring about anything and anyone except Travis. He was the one she lived for. No one else mattered to her anymore, not even herself.

If it was possible for a child of three to be depressed, then Travis was depressed. He couldn’t get the image of his Mommy lying in her bed, and not waking up when he shook her and said her name. She had always woken up before when he did that, but that particular day she didn’t. He replayed it over and over in his mind and cried himself to sleep every night over it. More than anything in the world, he wanted Mommy to come back so she could live with him and Mama again.

It was difficult for Travis to understand that Mommy wasn’t coming back. He firmly believed in his young heart that if he wanted it badly enough, she’d come walking through the door. And until that happened, he wandered around like a small ghost himself, clinging to Danielle and speaking only one word.

For her own part, Danielle wasn’t getting any sleep. She worried constantly over her son and never left his side. Somehow she knew that Grace’s spirit never left them, but it wasn’t good enough, not for her or for Travis. She wanted Grace to come back just as badly as the little boy did, but she was older and wasn’t quite sure she believed in miracles like that anymore. Sure, Henri had come back from the dead, but that was just a one-time thing, wasn’t it?

Up in Heaven, God and the angels were having a very difficult time getting Grace’s spirit to break bonds with Danielle and Travis. They were trying to get her to leave them, and thus become a full angel, capable of coming and going as she pleased between Heaven and Earth, but she didn’t want anything to do with that. She wanted to be with them and that was that. She didn’t want to be dead either. She stayed right beside them, hovering near them, wishing she was still alive. She couldn’t give them any real comfort as a spirit and it drove her mad. All she did was stay nearby and cry.

The Archangel Gabriel went to her after several weeks had gone by and she’d shown no signs of severing her bonds to them.

"Grace?"

She looked at him, her pain at being away from the two people she loved most in the world plain in her eyes. She was no longer deaf, and it amazed her still that she could hear things around her. "Yes?"

"You know that God will allow people to return to the world of the living if it is in the best interests of those they love..."

"Yes..."

Gabriel nodded. "She says She will let you go back...not right now, but soon...on the condition that Danielle proves she has really, truly learned from the ordeal. She must prove that she is ready, willing and able to put you and Travis before everything in her life, including the Guild, and show you everyday through her words and actions how much she loves you. If she does so, and continues to do so for the rest of her life, you will be allowed to remain with them until you die of natural causes as an old woman, the way it should be. If she does not...if she starts to show signs of putting the Guild or other things before you and Travis...you will be taken back here immediately and not permitted to return for all of eternity." Grace looked at him, tears in her eyes. "I understand." She whispered. She just hoped that when the time came, Danielle could live up to the condition and succeed. So far, she’d been doing a great job of it with just Travis, but what would happen when she wasn’t Travis’ primary caregiver anymore? Grace knew she’d have to wait and see. "When do I get to go back...? And will I be deaf again when I do?"

"I’m not sure at this moment when you will be returning." Gabriel told her. "But I can tell you that no, you will not be deaf again."

"Thank you..." Grace said. She was unbelievably happy at that development, and she’d be even happier when the time came for her to really go back to them and be there in the flesh again. They were the most important people in the world to her, and being separated from them was the most horrible thing she’d ever had to experience.

Allie shook her head. "No you’re not. You just think you are."

"All I really wan’ know is what de hell happened to dem. Sebastien’s blockin’ me; I can’ get t’rough to his emotions at all, although he seems to be handlin’ it pretty well. But Claude..." He sighed. "Claude’s hit rock bottom an’ I don’ t’ink he’s gon’ get up ‘gain wit’out serious intervention..."

"So intervene if it will make you feel better." Allie said.

"I can’, I’m not de right person for it. But I can go talk to Sebastien..."

"Do you think that’s a good idea?"

"Prob’ly not, but he should know what this is doin’ to Claude. Dey might be separated but dey’re still married." Emil said.

"I don’t know..." Allie was uncertain. She had a feeling Sebastien was a lot worse off than even her husband knew and it worried her. Maybe finding out how bad Claude was wouldn’t do any good at all. Emil didn’t know for sure it would. He was just guessing. Allie wished he’d leave it alone, but also knew he couldn’t. He hadn’t slept since the two men had split up; Claude’s quick downward spiral had taken a massive toll on Emil as well.

Deep in his heart, he knew he was probably doing the wrong thing, but Emil didn’t care. As he walked to the hospital, he mentally called out to any spirits that might be hanging around who would be suited to intervene with Claude to do so before the other man killed himself or something equally drastic.

When he got to the hospital, Sebastien was lying on the bed staring at the ceiling, same as he’d been doing for days. He looked over when Emil entered the room.

"Oh, God, not you..."

Emil raised an eyebrow. "Oh, God, yes me. I jus’ have one question. What de hell...?"

"I’m ill, Emil. Bot’ physically an’ mentally."

"An’ dat’s your excuse...? Dere are so many t’ings I could be sayin’ right now..."

Sebastien looked at him sharply. "I don’ wan’ hear ‘bout Claude ever ‘gain."

"Fine." Emil said his voice cold. "I jus’ wan’ say one t’ing. No mutual break-up is ever mutual."

He then walked out of the room without another word, leaving Sebastien to think that over.

The adults weren’t the only ones in the Guild family of course, and as they got older, the children tried to explore the tunnels and develop their own identities.

Alex and Jean-Michel discovered a hidden room in the tunnels that no one knew about. They figured that Emil and Remy had used it as a hide out when they were kids, and they were correct. The dusty old room was filled with comic books, chocolate bar wrappers and other such things. With a little fixing up, it would be a great hide out for them and the other kids.

After they discovered it, they collected Lizzie, Genevieve, Hija and Justin and took them to it. The six children spent an entire afternoon working on cleaning up and re-organizing the room.

"We should tell at least one of our parents ‘bout dis..." Lizzie suggested. "Dat way dey won’ worry."

"But...it’s s’posed to be a secret..." Justin complained.

Alex nodded. "I don’ t’ink it’s really dat much of a secret. I t’ink Papa an’ Uncle Remy used dis room when dey were kids. Or someone did. Let’s go tell Papa. I t’ink he’ll be mos’ understandin’ ‘bout it."

So the six kids went to find Emil. He was coloring with Mattie while Allie took a nap. He smiled when he saw the six children filing into his home. "You guys look like you’ve got somethin’ on your minds. What’s up?"

Jean-Michel, as the oldest, spoke up. "Alex an’ I found a room dat no one uses...it was pretty dusty...but we all cleaned it up and it’s pretty cool now..."

Emil smiled. "Is dis room down one of the hallways not used anymore?"

"Yeah how’d you know?" Alex asked.

"Were dere lots of old comic books in it? An’ was it pretty messy? Like candy wrappers an’ stuff?"

"Yeah..." All six children said in unison.

"Man I haven’ t’ought ‘bout dat room in ages." Emil said. "My cousin Etienne...Theo’s brother...an’ I found dat when we were ‘bout de same age you guys are now. We used it...an’ when Remy joined de fam’ly, he used it too. It was our hideout. Jean-Luc knew ‘bout it, but no one else did."

"Can we use it?" Hija asked him.

"Of course. Jus’ let me or someone know when you’re gon’ be spendin’ an afternoon dere or somethin’ so if your parents get worried someone actually knows where you are, okay?"

"We will Papa." Lizzie said.

At that point, Julien was ready to do just about anything to get out of the cold, emptiness that was Hell. Elena went to him and explained that if he became a guardian angel to someone on earth and was successful in that job, while keeping his behavior in check, he would be redeemed and allowed into Heaven. He agreed and she took him to his new charge: his niece Jaiden.

Jaiden was a beautiful year-old toddler now. She had her mother’s beautiful spun-gold hair, and her father’s intriguing red-on-black eyes. She was as active and inquisitive as any child her age and she was doted on and spoiled by her parents.

Julien smiled when he saw her sleeping peacefully in her crib. He’d been aware, thanks to a visit from his mother, that Bella Donna had married Remy and given birth to a little girl, but he had never seen Jaiden himself until the moment Elena took him there.

"She’s beautiful..." Julien whispered.

"Yes, she is." Elena agreed. "And she is your charge. It is your job to protect her and keep her safe from harm. It would also be in your best interest to keep an eye on her parents, and maintain peace with them, especially Remy."

"I will. Will dey be able to see me?"

"Only if you want them to. It would be best if you kept from interfering in their lives unless it’s got something vital to do with Jaiden."

"I understand."

Elena smiled before she disappeared to go back to Heaven. "Good luck, Julien."

As he hovered invisible beside Jaiden and lightly touched the child’s hair, he realized he was going to need luck. A lot of luck. But he was willing to do what he could and not let his mother down. He’d let her down so many times before, and if looking after her grand-daughter was what it would take to make her actually be proud of him for once, then that is exactly what he was going to do. No matter what the cost.

Danielle was worried, and she wasn’t the only one.

Claude was spending more time in the greenhouse alone than with anybody, even his children. He had gone to the home he’d once shared with Sebastien and retrieved one of Sebastien’s favorite shirts. It smelled like him. Claude took it to the greenhouse and left it there. When he went there, which was almost constantly, he curled up in the corner, hugging the shirt and crying. In fact, all he did was cry. He felt like he could never love again, and what was more, he didn’t want to love again. The only person he could or would love was Sebastien, a man who, as Emil had told him, wanted nothing to do with him ever again.

Claude’s heart was broken. Smashed into so many pieces he wasn’t sure it could ever be put back together. His heart wasn’t Humpty Dumpty after all. He couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep; he couldn’t do anything except think about Sebastien.

Danielle found him at the greenhouse five days after he had left Sebastien at the hospital.

"You are not at fault, Claude. He is mentally ill."

Claude blinked at her.

"You don’ wan’ end up like me..."

His voice was soft. "I don’ wan’ be me either."

"It ain’ easy to pick up the pieces of a broken life an’ move on, but people do it..."

"I don’ wan’ do it."

Danielle was getting exasperated. "Livin’ for other people ain’ livin’, Claude."

"I don’ care."

"So you wan’ end it all like dis? You wan’ die?"

"Only reason I’m not dead is dose kids. An’ maybe even dey’d be better off wit’out me..." His voice trailed off. He didn’t really mean it, but he was hurting.

"Non. Dey’d be traumatized. Dey’d wind up bein’ hospitalized at some point in deir lives. Dey wouldn’ recover."

Claude sighed deeply. "Neither will I."

"You can change and adapt. You’re jus’ too stubborn an’ lazy to want to."

Danielle’s words hit a nerve. Claude punched the wall. "I don’ want to!"

"C’mon, punch me if it makes you feel better. I don’ care." Danielle said.

"Non." His voice was soft again.

Danielle absently created a ball of fire in her palm. "I don’ even care ‘bout my family anymore. I jus’ care ‘bout Travis. I don’ want you to end up like me."

"I t’ink it’s too late." Claude admitted.

"Non, it’ll be too late in five months. You still have a chance."

"But I don’ care ‘bout dat chance. Don’ want it." Claude stopped there, and didn’t even think what he wanted to say next.

"Non, you don’ wan’ be like me. I’m empty inside; pessimistic an’ cynical. Wan’ feel pain...wan’ feel somethin’ ‘gain..."

The look on Claude’s face showed Danielle that he was beyond caring if he did end up that way. That look did nothing but annoy her.

"Fine. Go get hit by a bus if dat’s how you feel. I ain’ gon’ help you anymore if you don’ wan’ be helped." She said. Then she walked out of the room and went home.

Claude spoke sadly to the empty room. "De only t'ing I want is him. If I could go back an' change it an' give him what he needed wit'out carin' 'bout anythin' else, I'd do it. B'cause dat's what I want. I want him. I need him. I didn't want it to be dis way. An' no one seems to get dat I jus' can' pick up de pieces right now b'cause I'm in love wit' him an' I'm hurtin' so bad right now it's all I know."

Claude sat down on the bed, miserable. He had no idea that a pretty little ghost was hovering nearby and about to make her presence known.

"He doesn’ want dis."

Claude looked to where the voice was coming from. Sitting beside him on the bed was a beautiful dark-haired little girl of about five years old. If he’d thought of it, he’d realize that the girl was identical to Sebastien, and looked very much like what he must have looked like as a small child.

"He doesn’ wan’ hurt. He’s sick." The girl continued.

Claude blinked. Who was this girl? "Dat ain’ gon’ change anythin’. It’s over. Emil told me what he said. It's over...he's gon' go to Slidell an' move on an' I'm gon' be stuck here unable to b'cause I can'. I need him too much to. I love him too much to. I don’ ever wan’ be wit’ another person ‘gain in my whole life, jus’ him. An’ who are you, anyway...? You seem to know an awful lot."

The girl smiled. "Geneva Boudreaux!"

Claude blinked as he put the pieces together. "You..."

Geneva smiled. "Big Brother always liked flowers."

"You’re his sister...I didn’ know he had a sister..."

Geneva continued. "He’s sick. He gets sick easy. He gets really, really sad an’ doesn’ see de point to livin’. But he don’ really wan’ let go of you."

"It’s too late for dat, t’ough..." Claude sighed.

"De doctors are gon’ make him better. He never lives up to his promises as far as his sickness pledges go. He swore he’d never love ‘gain after Marcel died. He swore he’d never get married after Papa died."

"I can’ love anybody but him. But I also can’ deal wit’ all of dat..."

"Dis time he’s gon’ stop bein’ sick. As much as he doesn’ wan’ admit it, he can’ live wit’out you."

Claude curled up on the bed. "I need more’n he’s been able to give me, even from de start." He sobbed quietly. "Dis hurts so much..."

"I know it does." Geneva was frank. "But breakin’ up don’ fix de problem. Fixin’ de problem fixes it."

"I don’ know..."

"You never asked him ‘bout his family, so he never told you. Dat’s de way he works. Ask him questions an’ he’ll talk. He’s very shy. He likes fishies."

Claude was quiet for what seemed like a very long time. Then he spoke. "I can’ go back dere."

"He’s dyin’."

"So am I."

"He’s so upset dat he didn’ fix t’ings b’tween you an’ him dat he’s starvin’ himself to death."

Claude wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he said nothing and instead waited for the girl to speak again.

"He don’ need a psyche-person-thingy. He needs you."

Claude started crying. "How can I go back dere when he specifically told Emil...?" His heart was shattered and he didn’t know if it could be put back together, no matter how much he loved Sebastien.

"When he’s sick, he says t’ings he don’ mean. His heart is broken into a zillion kajillion pieces."

The tears slipped down Claude’s cheeks.

"Aww...don’ cry..." Geneva wiped the tears away gently.

Claude got up and let out an outburst. "Don’ cry? Don’ cry! Are you insane? Cry is all I’ve done for days!"

Geneva sank back away from him, hurt in her dark eyes. She might have been a ghost, but she was still just a little girl.

Claude sighed and lowered his voice. "I’m sorry. I didn’ mean to snap at you. I’ve been snappin’ a lot lately. I’m so lost...I don’ know what to do. Fallin’ apart. My heart’s shattered. I can’ feel anythin’ but pain an’ hurt...b’cause I still love him..."

"An’ he loves you too." "Are you sure dey’re gon’ fix him for good? Dat he’s never gon’ get sick like dis ‘gain? B’cause I can’...I jus’ can’..." He sobbed quietly.

Geneva smiled. "He’s gon’ get completely better an’ never get sick ‘gain."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

With that promise, Claude headed for the door. He didn’t believe in miracles, but he knew he had to try. If Geneva had felt it was worth while to come tell him everything she had told him that night, he had to at least go to Sebastien and see what the other man thought and felt for himself.

Their worry was quite justified, as the little boy had refused to speak a single word except "Mama" since his return. He occasionally woke up from a bad dream in the middle of the night crying for "Mommy" but once he woke up it was back to "Mama" and he glued himself to Danielle’s side. While he was awake he wouldn’t let her out of his sight, and while he was sleeping, she wouldn’t leave his side. This resulted in her getting very little sleep, and it had started to show. She had dark circles under her eyes and an all-around exhausted look to her.

"Danielle, you really need to get some sleep..." Genard commented at one point.

Danielle sighed. "I can’. I’m worried ‘bout him." She tilted her head towards where Travis was playing with his toy cars. The boy looked up every once in awhile to make sure Mama was still in sight.

Genard wished there was something he could do to get Travis to relax a little. Even just enough to let Danielle get some much-needed rest.

"Hey Travis, you wan’ come for a walk wit’ me to de store?" He tried.

Travis looked up. The idea was appealing, however he wasn’t sure. "Mama?" He wasn’t asking for permission, he was asking if Mama was going too.

"Non, jus’ you an’ me. So Mama can sleep. You wan’ come?" Genard persisted.

Travis abandoned his toy cars and climbed up into Danielle’s lap. "Mama."

Danielle wrapped her arms around her son. "T’anks for tryin’, G. I appreciate it."

"It was worth a shot." Genard said. "I wasn’ really expectin’ him to willingly say yes."

"Yeah."

Claude was unaware that Geneva had followed him. He went to the hospital and up to Sebastien’s room. He peeked in and saw that Dr. Mercereaux was speaking with Sebastien, so he didn’t go in.

Once the psychologist left, Sebastien sat there, staring at the ceiling. The blankets fell away and from his spot in the hallway, Claude could see just how underweight and malnourished Sebastien was. He really was starving himself to death. Claude saw this and started crying softly.

Inside the room, Sebastien heard the crying. "Claude? Non, it can' be Claude... he'd never come back to see me, especially after all de stupid t'ings I said an' did. And especially not if he heard dat idiotic statement I said to Emil..."

Upon hearing those words, Claude sobbed.

Sebastien continued. "He wouldn' want me 'gain. I'm a nutcase who starves himself when he's depressed an' never talks to anyone."

Claude stepped into the room as the tears rolled down his cheeks in rivers. His cheeks were pale and gaunt, and his body wracked with sobs. If Sebastien was looking, it would be obvious to him that Claude had done little but cry in the past while. But Sebastien wasn’t looking. He was still talking to himself.

"I've got a problem. I love an' need someone who I don' t'ink wants me 'gain. I wan' start 'gain, give him what he needs, even if I don' get what I want."

Claude was choked up at that point, but he managed somewhat. "Seba..."

Sebastien looked up, his eyes quickly filled with tears of disbelief. "Oh God...Claude...you...you’re..."

Claude simply stood there sobbing and shaking, unable to speak. His eyes were filled with unbearable pain and heartache. Behind that was his unbreakable love for Sebastien.

"Come here...please..."

Claude went to his side, unable to stop shaking and trembling. Sebastien wrapped his arms around him, tears flowing from his brown eyes. His heart was filled with such a powerful love it amazed him.

Claude clung to him and sobbed, unable to speak. His body was weak and tired from lack of food and sleep. "I can’..."

Sebastien was soon sobbing as well. He had missed Claude so much... "Can’ what...?"

Somehow, Claude managed to say what he had to say in between his sobs. "I...moved...an' I...tried...so hard to...move on...b'cause...I t'ought you were...t'ought you...didn' ever...wan' see me 'gain or anythin'...an'...I couldn'...I couldn'...I haven' eaten...or slept...since...I left here...done nothin' but...cry...feel like I'm dyin'...My heart hurts so much..."

"Mine...too..." Sebastien’s voice was quiet.

Claude looked at him, sniffling. "I can' live wit'out you. I can'. I need you. Your sister promised me you were gon' get better an' never get sick 'gain an' I'm really countin' on dat, b'cause I can' live de way we were livin' either...I need you...I wan' know an' love you...de real you...please..."

"I can’ live wit’out you. I..." Sebastien started to say something similar but stopped. "My sister...?"

Claude nodded. "She's partly why I'm here. She came to me a little while ago...made me realize dat if I didn' come here we'd bot' die an' what good would dat do?" His voice softened. "She looks jus' like you must've at dat age...she knows you better’n I do..."

Sebastien couldn’t believe it, but yet he did. He spoke softly as he held Claude close. "De Guild killed her when she was five..."

"Why?"

"B’cause she supposedly had de mark of de Witch on her an’ had cast a spell on Julien." Sebastien sounded bitter.

Claude shook his head. "Dat little girl I was talkin’ to was no Witch..."

Sebastien sighed. "She was so sweet...never harmed anybody...but Papa didn’ want a girl."

"A lot of people in de Guild used to t’ink dat way..." Claude reflected.

"A lot of people in both Guilds used to t’ink dat way." Sebastien corrected.

"Yeah..." Claude paused, then continued, his voice soft. "I had a sister too..."

Sebastien was curious. "What was her name?"

"Dominique." Claude said.

"What happened to her?"

"I don’ know. I was only six when she was born...I never saw her...but my brothers did...dey told me she looked exactly like me. She disappeared. My parents never spoke of her or what happened to her. I don’ even know if she’s dead or alive...I'd like to t'ink dey didn' have her killed...dat she was jus' given up for adoption or somethin' not so horrible like dat...jus' so she wouldn' have to live in de guild...but I don' know..."

"It hurts...not knowin’..." Sebastien commented.

"Yeah." Claude said. "I hope she had a decent fam'ly an' a good life an' is married wit' kids an' a career an' never wondered what happened to her real fam'ly..."

"Yeah..."

"So...what do we do now...?"

"Start over...?"

Claude smiled softly. "I’d like dat. I can’ live wit’out you. I love you an’ need you too much."

"Same here..."

"...T’ings’ll be diff’rent...?"

"Oui. I promise." Sebastien smiled.

"He means dat." Geneva said, appearing only to Claude.

Claude smiled. "T’ank you, petite."

"I’m happy to have helped!" Geneva said.

"Hey, tell me somethin’. Is my sister dere wit’ you?"

"Non. She’s not..."

"She’s alive?" Claude’s voice was hopeful.

"Yeah. She’s alive..."

"Why doesn’ dat sound like a good t’ing?"

"Uhm...b’cause it’s not...?"

Claude sighed. "My hopes for her havin’ a good life are in vain, aren’ dey..."

"Uh...yeah." Geneva said, before she disappeared again.

Claude sighed again and rested his head against Sebastien’s shoulder. He was suddenly very, very tired.

"What’s wrong?" Sebastien asked, concerned. He knew Claude had just had a conversation of some sort with a ghost, probably Geneva, and absently wondered why his little sister never appeared to him.

"Geneva jus’ told me dat my sister isn’ dead, which should be a good t’ing, but apparently her life hasn’ been good at all..."

Sebastien hugged him. "I’m so sorry..."

Claude cried on his shoulder. "T’anks. I wish dey hadn’..." He was talking about his parents. He didn’t know what they had done with his little sister, but he really wished they hadn’t done it.

"Maybe you could go lookin’ for her." Sebastien suggested.

"Maybe...but not right now. We have too much to work on." Claude said. He looked into Sebastien’s eyes. "Will you take me back?"

Sebastien took the ring from the table where Claude had left it and slipped it back on Claude’s finger. "Oui, I will."

Claude smiled. It felt so good, and so right, to have that ring back on his finger where it belonged. And he was suddenly exhausted. "Dey’ll freak out if dey catch me asleep in dis bed wit’ you…so I’m gon’ go home, okay? I’ll be back once I’ve finished apologizin’ an’ after I’ve had a few hours’ sleep."

Sebastien smiled back. "Okay. G’night." He closed his eyes and was asleep in seconds.

Claude gently kissed his forehead and whispered. "I love you so much...more'n anythin' in dis world..." He then got up and left; he went back to the tunnels to get some much needed sleep. But first he knew he had to apologize to at least one person.