After school, the main characters (who at this time are only Eugene, Skeeve, Omero, Ranith, and Kawatta) file out and are surprised to see Yuuhi standing by the gates, watching the good-looking Sempais. He moseys over to them and tells 'em how a)Sentai told 'em to be at home between the hours of six and eight since it was an auspicious time for Secret Blade's divination powers and b)Reion wanted to talk to them. They decide to head to the Jinja, and on the way they encounter Mujakiko, who is back from America to visit family.

They try to talk to Sentai, who tells 'em to stop being such )&@#ing idiots and find someplace safe to hide; Ranith offers her apartment. They leave before Sentai toasts 'em and go to talk to Reion.

Reion has someone with him he asks them to take with 'em, a girl, dressed as if she had crackios for breakfast. She's got a funny mark on her forehead. She's hyper. Her name is Tana. They bite the bullet and take her with them.

As they're going back, Yuuhi inquires about where Third is. And mentions that Third spent a long time looking for clothes in the closet that morning.

No, nobody's seen Third.

"Oh dear," says Ranith, and doesn't explain. They go to her apartment, through all the security. She tries calling Third's cell phone and gets a "This number is either out of range or no longer in service" message. She eventually comments that they'll have to go into her closet to get Third back.

Sounds easy

Upon opening the closet, it becomes pretty clear pretty fast that the thing is a Tesseract. MUCH larger on the inside than the out. So large, they can't see the back wall. They enter and the door slams behind them. There's a moment of full dark before the emergency lights come on. Rows and rows of every sort of imaginable clothing stretch away into the distance.

A bit nervous, but having no choice but to go forward now, they follow one wall until they lose it and have to continue amid the rows. The clothing changes in period as they continue back, and they are in the Renaissance when they stop, uncertain as to where they could /possibly/ find Third.

Stopping is apparently a bad idea, as they get attacked by suits. No, not businessmen. Empty business suits.

After a scuffle, the lights go out. When they come on, each character is alone, and in front of them hangs a piece of clothing that interests them very much...

A little wandering later, most of the characters meet up. Some of them are, however, different. Eugene is the same, as is Tana, and Mujakiko. Skeeve is wearing formal armour and looks with a pride and dignity not seen normally on his face. Kawatta is in an army-pattern dress and insists that he's actually 'Kathy'. Ranith is wearing a white shift, is giggling innocently and smiling a lot, and goes by the name of 'Sachi'. Omero is talking with a very faux English accent and introduces himself as Bond, James Bond.

It quickly becomes apparent to Eugene, Tana, and Mujakiko, that it's the fault of the clothing. Unfortunately, it seems highly offensive to all of those others when it's requested that they take off their clothes. Kathy also resists all attempts to point out that the body she's got is male.

Of course, while this is going on, they get attacked by suits again.

Sachi goes into a state of shock at the deaths. It is as if she has never seen death before, and she runs off to hide. After a while, they talk her back, and, examining the dead bodies, she returns to being Ranith.

Eventually they all 'change back' and continue their journey through the closet, albiet more carefully. Finally, they hear a scream and go tearing off through the closet to find Third being menaced by a giant... monster in the closet. It's filthy, stinking of old laundry, and piled nearly 20 feet high. It has huge claws and teeth made of coat hangers. And it's after them.

Combat ensues. The monster fights bravely and soon explodes into heaps of dirty laundry. The socks are beginning to crawl back to the body, however, so the group grabs Third and runs.

Amazingly, they make it back to the closet doors in relative safety, but no matter how they try, they can't get the doors open. A cleared throat draws their attention: Beside the doors is a little table, on which is sitting a three-inch tall fairy-sprite boy. He has curly black hair, and is wearing cargo pants and a green ribbed turtleneck. "Hi!" he chirps. "I'm Osu!"

"It's a pixie," Skeeve says blankly.

"EXCUSE me," Osu says in a huff. "I am a FASHION FAIRY."

They demand to be let out, and Osu waves his hands for dramatic emphasis. "I'd LOVE to let you through, but there are rules to this thing. Before you can come out, you have to reveal one of your Deep Dark Secrets."

Tana goes first: She reveals that she's actually a god. This meets with surprisingly little astonishment. Omero reveals that he became a spy by stealing the secret to ice ("Freeze water") from the Canadian government. Skeeve reveals that the one he loved most died because of him. Kawatta explains that his greatest goal is to seek control and direction over his own life. Mujakiko doesn't have many secrets, but says that she didn't used to be able to make jam well. Eugene reveals that he's actually a scientific experiment. And Ranith reveals...something. Oh hell, don't ask me. I'm just the GM. It's Skeeve's job to write these things anyway. DO YOU HEAR ME, SKEEVE?! YOU GET YOUR ******** OVER HERE AND WRITE ME SOME SUMMARIES!

They all come out of the closet! Isn't that lovely? It's time to go home, and Third is NEVER looking for a new uniform again.

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