Narrator: Uh! Isn’t this show canceled yet?! Geez, why do stations continue to broadcast this trash? We start off this trashy episode with Luigi and Misty walking through the forest. They are looking for Dragonmite but are going back to town, Sugar Town!

Luigi: There aren't any Dragonmite around. Hey! Look, another Mew! Arg!

Mew: Mew!

Luigi hits it with a rock and it flies away.

Misty: Luigi! Quit hitting that same Mew over and over!

Luigi: No, these are all different ones, the world is covered in them!

They hear a shuffling behind the bushes.

Misty: Arg! Hey! There's one… uhh, sorta.

A small tan dragon comes out of the bushes.

Luigi's Koopadex pops open.

"Koopamon: Dragonlite- This rare Koopamon is only found in a few places. It isn't as rare as the ultra-rare Mew though! Haha! He becomes very strong after he evolves and then he gets even stronger the next few times it evolves. This Koopamon is very small and fits into most overhead compartments, but grows pretty big. He has a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th evolution, and it is rumored a 5th can be found by using a Night Stone.

Luigi: As rare as Mew? Pah! I must kill it!

Luigi runs up to it and kicks it.

Dragonlite: Lite!

Misty: Luigi! Battle it with your Koopamon!

Luigi: Go Knuckles!

Knuckles: You know I'm not in that Koopaball. I hate being in those things.

Luigi: You disobeyed me! That's it! Return, Knuckles!

Knuckles: Nooooo-

Knuckles gets sucked into his Koopaball, but it explodes.

Luigi: Aw crud! That cost me ten bucks!

Misty: Ten bucks?! Haha! You got ripped off! They cost a nickel, you fool!

Luigi: Ohh!

Luigi's other Koopaball explodes.

Three-Headed-Mankey: Fizzle!

Knuckles: Rebellion!

Luigi: Knuckles, get in there!

Knuckles: No!

Luigi hit Knuckles with a stick.

Knuckles: Ow, ok. Geez! Freak..

Meanwhile with Professor Oak…

Prof. Oak: Craven! You said they would be here by this episode!

Craven: Well…

Prof. Oak: What?

Craven: I can't think of anything to say. I used up all my adjectives last episode.

Prof. Oak: Who do you have lined up to ruin Luigi's career?

Craven: I have two of my best. Meet Fong Wong and Chin Chin, two albino Chines-

Prof. Oak: No! I want cool people! American people who look good and are cool!

Craven: Fine, how about I line up some stupid Baldwin and Blondie, would you like that?

Prof. Oak: I don't deserve this kinda of trash talk!

Craven: I'll do whatever I want!

Prof. Oak: I'll kick you-

Craven: Shut up! That’s it! I'm deploying my worst!

Prof. Oak: I don't care! Just hurry up!

Craven: Ok! Bye!

Back with Luigi…

Luigi: Knuckles… ummm… Free Style!

Knuckles: What? No!

Luigi hits Knuckles with a stick, hard. Knuckles punches Luigi.

Misty: Man! You’re a horrible trainer, Luigi!

Luigi: I said Free Style, you idiot!

Misty: Oh man… this is unbelievable!

Knuckles: Fine...

Knuckles sprints up to Dragonlite and flips over him. When he lands he does a roundhouse to hit Dragonlite.

Luigi: Use your fists! Helicopter Spin!

Knuckles does a Helicopter Spin and then spins close to Dragonlite.

Luigi: Three-Headed-Mankey! Go over there and hold Dragonlite!

Misty: That’s illegal! You can only use one at a time, fool!

Luigi: Hurry!

Three-Headed-Mankey: Fizzle!

Three-Headed-Mankey holds Dragonlite and Knuckles punches him with his helicopter move.

Luigi: Ummm... now what?

Dragonlite's blood is spreading across the grass.

Misty: Capture it! Before it dies!

Luigi: Ummmm… Go Masterball!

Misty: No! Where did you get that?

Luigi: From your backpack.

Misty: Nooooooooooo!

Luigi throws the Masterball and a purple streak comes out. Dragonlite goes in the Masterball.

Luigi: Woohoo! Ahh! Oh drat! Run!

BWWWAAAOOOOoooo….

Officer Jenny: That was an illegal move you just used! You're going to jail! Oh man! What happened here? You make me sick! Hey, you two in the bushes!

???: Waa! Prepare for laughs!

???2: Cut that in halves!

???: To protect the world from sanitation!

???2: To unite the world with inflammation!

???: To denounce the evils of the mystery peach!

???2: To extend our reach to as far as we can reach!

???: Joe!

???2: Bob!

Joe: Team Blow-it blasts of at the speed of "it"!

Bob: Surrender now, o- I have been lit! Make a break for it!

Joe: Wait! I have a great plan!

A Koopa Troopa burst through the bushes and grabs Knuckles.

Joe: I got one!

Bob: Great plan!

Officer Jenny: Joe! I've been looking for you! You're under arrest!

Joe: But I got one! Hey! Noo!

Officer Jenny tries to cuff Joe but he slips out. Then the bushes catch on fire.

Bob: Ahhhh! Not again! Crud! I forgot!

A Bob-omb comes out of the bushes.

Officer Jenny: Bob! Aw no!

Bob: I have been lit!

Luigi: Run!

Officer Jenny: Nooo! There too many people here! Ar!

Officer Jenny cuffs Joe and knocks him out. She does the same with Luigi.

BEEP BEEP. BSSHHHHH! BOOOM!

Officer Jenny: Ohhhhhh-

The Next Day...

Ring ring ring! Ring ring ring! Phone call! Phone call!

Craven: Yes?

Prof. Oak: What's up with this?! I said I wanted two hot Americans who are cool and you send me some animal and a bomb! Why I oughta give you some-

Craven: Sweet loving? Haha! I thought so!

Prof. Oak: What? What are you talking about?

Craven: Aha! Bye bye!

Craven hangs up and so does Prof. Oak.

Prof. Oak: I have been violated!

Back with Luigi…

Luigi is in a small jail cell with Misty and some bird-type Koopamon.

Luigi: What are you in for?

The bird drops a turd.

Luigi: Uh, you sicko!

Luigi's Koopadex pops open.

"Koopamon: Jail Bird- This Koopamon is taken to jail as soon as it's born. Its feathers are black and white and resemble a jail suit. It carries around a bag with a $ on it, or, in rare cases, a $$, and it steals hamburgers from McDonald's. It cannot leave jail until it evolves. Even then, it's dangerous to have until its 3rd evolution. He has a 2nd and 3rd evolution."

Misty: Oh! I want it! Oh, where's my Koopaballs?

Officer Jenny: I took them away! One of you gets a phone call.

Luigi: Me!

Misty: Oh…

Officer Jenny takes Luigi to the phones.

Luigi: Ok… Can I be alone?

Officer Jenny: No!

Luigi: Ok…

BEEP BEEP BEEP…… RIIIIIIING….

Officer Jenny: Hey! Wait a minute!

Luigi: Help! We need all of your officers! There are dinos-

Officer Jenny clicks him off and backslaps him.

Officer Jenny: You're staying for life now!

Luigi: Yoink!

Officer Jenny: Hey! What did you do?! Did you take something?

Luigi runs back to his cell and locks himself in.

Officer Jenny: Arg, forget you! I'm on a break!

Officer Jenny storms out. Luigi whips out the cellphone he stole from Officer Jenny.

Misty: Hey!

Luigi calls Professor Oak.

Back at Oak's…

Ring ring ring! Ring ring ring! Phone call! Phone call!

Prof. Oak: Hello? Yes. No, I have not seen any bananas walking around! What? Who? Me? There's no cherry on my head! What? How absurd! Nasty! How dare you? Sicko!

Professor Oak hangs up.

Prof. Oak: Darn pranker…

Back in jail…

Luigi: Hahaha!

Misty: That was sick.

Luigi throws the cellphone out the cell.

Luigi: Won't be needing that anymore!

Misty: You idiot!

Luigi: Time to break out!

Luigi flails his arms at the bars. He looks like a man with broken arms trying to slap the bars.

Luigi: Take that!

Misty: Ohh… I hate my life!

???: Hahaha!

???2: Hahaha!

Misty: Oh wow, Joe and Bob, what a surprise.

Joe: Well… It seems like we are gonna be in here awhile.

Bob: Yep, we- Oh my God! I have been lit!

Joe: I didn't do it!

Bob: It happens randomly.

Joe: Get in the other corner! Hurry! Blah!

Bob: No!

BOOOOM!

Their whole cell explodes.

Luigi: Cool!

Joe: Ouch…

Bob: Double Ouch 3, Ouch with a Vengeance…

Luigi: Ok, now let us out.

Joe: No!

Bob: I have been lit!

Joe: Aw crud!

Joe throws Bob and he hits the cell.

FWANGBOOOOM!

Luigi: Ouch.

Misty: Ouch 2, the Ooze…

Luigi: Freedom!

Luigi scampers off.

Misty: Hey! You have to get your Koopamon!

Luigi: No time!

Misty: Ohhh… Ash! Why are you in jail?

Ash: Murder! Pikachu killed someone's Chansey. Stupid Nurse Joy, that Chansey shouldn't have touched him there!

Misty picks up the key on the wall.

Misty: Nah…

Ash: Please! I already ate my Squirtle!

Misty: I don't feel like it. Here's a tip, Pidgeotto have the most meat.

Ash: I'm already on it.

Pidgeotto: Pidgeoooooo…

MUNCH MUNCH TEEAAAR!

Ash: But there sure is a lot of cartilage…

Joe: Eww…

Bob: Cool!
 

WHO BE DAT KOOPAMON?

There is an outline of a shell-shaped thing with legs.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

It's Buzzy Beetle!
 

Luigi: Awsome!

Luigi is looking at a huge rack of Koopaballs.

Luigi: There's my three!

Luigi gets three Koopaballs out of the trash.

Luigi: Hey! Free Koopaballs!

Luigi takes a lot of Koopaballs.

Luigi: Now to make a graceful exit!

Luigi falls over and smashes into the Koopaball rack. They all smash on the floor.

Officer Jenny: Oh no! Why you?

Luigi: Ahhh!

Luigi decks Officer Jenny and runs out the front door.

Misty: Luigi!

Joe: Officer Jenny!

Bob: Holy Matrimony!

All of our heroes go in three separate directions. Luigi makes it outside. He goes over and sees Nick's Bar.

Luigi: Hey! Nick's Bar!

Luigi walks in and sits down.

Luigi: Gimme blood wine!

Nick: I don’t know…

Luigi: Gimme!

Nick: Ok! Ok! Take it all, man!

After a few minutes, Misty shows up.

Misty: Hey! I caught that Jail Bird in the cell!

Luigi: 'Wazza 2 'ma?

Misty: Well, it's gonna evolve right now because I took it out of the cell… It's gonna look cool!
Misty throws her Koopaball out and Jail Bird pops out. Jail Bird glows and then gets a little bigger. A chain and ball grow on his leg and he is wearing a fake nose and mustache. His feathers go brown.

Luigi's Koopadex pops open.

"Koopamon: Fugitive Bird- This bird has escaped out of jail! Turn this bird in for a million dollar reward! After turned in it will de-evolve into a Jail Bird. He likes to jump out of pipes and off of buses with a train about to hit it. He has a 3rd evolution."

Misty: Oh shoot!

Misty calls Fugitive Bird back but he refuses.

Misty: Ahhhh!

Guy: Isn't that a Fugitive Bird?

Misty: Oh no!

Misty takes Fugitive Bird and runs off.

Guy: Get her! She has a Fugitive Bird!

Nick: Ar!

Nick pulls a pitchfork out from under the bar and runs after Misty.

Luigi: Cool!

Joe: Hey!

Joe and Bob run in.

Luigi: Hey! What happened to Officer Jenny, or whatever?

Joe: She won't be back for a long time...

Bob: You! Get'm!

Joe: Mm, grrr… umm…

Bob: Umm... yeah…

Joe: Aha! A Koopamon battle should solve this!

Bob: What? Koopamon? Ummm, we don’t have any.

Joe: Clipto-Time!

Joe and Bob run out.

Woman: Ahhhhh!

BIFF!

Woman: Ohh!

Joe: Yeah! Take take one!

Bob: Whoops, uhh… sorry...

Joe: Uh, nasty! That thing!

Bob: This? Wha! Nasty! What is that?

Joe: Oh man! What's wrong with you? Here!

Bob: Ahhh… So they weren't hidden somewhere…

Joe and Bob run back in.

Joe: Okie Dokey! I think we're all ready now!

Luigi: Just a second. Gotta syringe on ya?

Bob: Yeah, of course. Here.

Bob tosses Luigi a syringe and he inserts it in himself. Then he draws his own blood and drinks out of the end.

Joe: That's not right…

Bob: That's not safe…

Luigi: Let's go!

All three of them go outside and begin their battle.

Luigi: Gooooo Knuckles!

Knuckles: No!

Luigi: Ar!

Luigi hits Knuckles with a stick.

Knuckles: Déjà vu.

Joe: Go random Koopamon!

Out of his Koopaball comes a floating purple ball shooting out coffee and that white gunk on top of those coffee type drinks.

"Koopamon: Koffee- This Koopamon is really hyped up on sugar. They usually are found dead and die really fast. After it evolves it will probably die in a few seconds. Make horrible Christmas gifts. Don't try and give this guy a bedtime or it will kill you, literally. One kid literally died because of this and they had to shoot the Koffee, the bloodshed was horrible. He has a 2nd and 3rd evolution."

Luigi: Umm, Free Style!

Knuckles: Oh man!

Knuckles jumps up to Koffee but gets a bunch of white glop in his eyes.

Knuckles: Ahhhhh!

Koffee circles around Knuckles really fast and then goes underground.

Bob: Gooo Thingy!

Bob's Koopaball reveals a short little armadillo with a black smooth shell.

"Koopamon: Buzzy Beetle- This Koopamon has very high defense, although it can be flipped over and then it can't attack. Try cracking this baby with a hammer, it's fun and it doesn't do any damage. I once ran one of these over with a car and it made me do a pop-wheelie. When it evolves it can get pretty painful. He has a 2nd and 3rd evolution."

Luigi: Hey! You're cheating!

Bob: Haha! Deal with it!

Luigi: No! Let's have a clean game!

Joe: Fine, Koffee and Buzzy Beetle will switch off.

Koffee taps Buzzy Beetle on the shell and they switch.

Luigi: Ok, go Dragonlite!

Luigi throws out his Koopaball and a Dragonlite pops out. He gives Knuckles a high-five-

Knuckles: Oww!

-and they switch.

Dragonlite: Lite!

Buzzy Beetle: Bzzzzzz!

Misty comes back.

Misty: Wow! You're doing pretty well!

Luigi: Ok Dragonlite! Slash at its shell!

Misty: Doh!

Dragonlite walks up to Buzzy Beetle and slashes at its shell. It doesn’t even scratch.

Luigi: Keep trying! I don’t care if you die trying!

Misty: Oh!

Dragonlite continues swiping until its fingernails are worn down. Dragonlite holds his hands up and looks at them.

Dragonlite: Dragonlite! Lite!

Dragonlite turns around and faces Luigi.

Dragonlite: Grrrr...

A spinning black ball hits Dragonlite in the back of the head. Then it lands in front of him.

Buzzy Beetle: Bzzzz!

Luigi: This is cheap! Knuckles, Helicopter Spin! Hold him, Dragonlite!

Dragonlite: Lite!

Knuckles: Ok!

Joe: Hey! Get'm Koffee! They're cheating! Times like this make me wish I had some talking, wisecracking Koopamon next to my side!

Bob: Gla!

Luigi: Go Three-Headed-Mankey! Knock around Koffee!

Three-Headed-Mankey clonks Koffee on the head and blood spurts out of its holes.

Koffee: Oof!

Joe: No! Hey!

Dragonlite holds Buzzy Beetle front-facing Knuckles and then Knuckles knocks the life out of Buzzy Beetle until its eyes literally popped out.

Bob: Oh my! Cheater!

BWEEWAAAAOOOH. BSHK. BLAM BLAM!

Officer Jenny: Hey!

Luigi: Book it!

Luigi and his three Koopamon run off into the woods.

Officer Jenny: Crud! Hey you!

Joe: Ahhh!

Bob: I have been lit!

Officer; Not again!

Officer Jenny cuffs Joe and then kicks him into the mud.

Bob: This is gonna hurt…

Meanwhile…

BOOOOOOOM!

Misty: Wow! There sure was a lot of blood in that explosion!

Fugitive Bird drops a turd.

Luigi: Cool!

Misty: Sick! All this thing does is drop fresh doobies! Veeery fresh.

Luigi: Aren't those guys still chasing you for that Fugitive Bird?

Misty: Yeah, well-

Luigi: Today I won my first battle! Woohoo!

Misty: No you didn't!

Luigi: Uh, yeah. Let's go to Nick's and celebrate!

Misty: Number one, you cheated so you lost-

Luigi: Oh!

Luigi wets himself.

Misty: -and Nick is behind you! Ahhh!

Luigi: Nooo!

A pitchfork comes through Luigi's stomach and blood squirts in Misty's eyes. Luigi's eyes roll up into his head and he falls over dead.

Misty: Ahhhhhhh!

Misty runs into the forest.

Narrator: Well, looks like Luigi made a fool of himself again, and he went to jail. Then he broke the law and went to jail again, almost! He ended up dying so this is the end of the series… oh man! It says that since this is a cartoon he can be brought back to life. Oh well, but that was pretty funny when that bird dropped some doobies, especially the second time.

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