Moe's Lil Book On Life

Well, this is it. Everything you should know about life... from the point of views of adolescents. See, this is how it happened- I was talking to Moe online and we just kinda came up with these rules from our past experiences. Some of which are silly, some of which are more personal and those we actually chose to live by. So, we welcome any kinds of comments or advice and your own thoughts on the "rules" to life. So feel free to e-mail either Me or my friend Moe and give us your suggestions.

Alot of the rules you may not understand but maybe if you read our AIM conversation it'll make more sense. Maybe not. Well, the convo has been slightly edited but everything important is still in it. I actually recommend reading it, because it'll explain some of the rules. Lets see-- oh yeah, this list was compiled by both me and Moe but I call it Moe's book, just because that's the original title, no need to change it for personal glory. So without further delay...

*for added extra bits of the rules click on the number-link for more*

Moe's Lil Book On Life

1. If it will bruise... ice it.

2. Visit hotels regularly- even if it's in your own town.

3. Watch tennis when ever possible.

4. Always trade Agassi tickets for Phillipousses tickets.

5. Two words: jedi mind tricks.

6. Learn to count.

7. Don't bullshit-- 'cept to stupid people.

8. To go along with #5, when you encounter jedi mind tricks, don't run, kick the jedi-er at his own game.

9. If life sucks, make up a new one until it gets better.

10. Learn to play an electric instrument.

11. Learn to play well, and don't play punk, cause it doesn't sound good.

12. Fuck those that fuck you. *meant in a completely unsexual manner*

13. Although it's cliche, always get the last word, it's always gonna be worth it.

14. Krzysztof.

15. Inspired by heather, always practice your fake orgasm noises in as many public places as possible, to get used to your own groans.

16. To all the pimps, pimp hard, and always take care of your hos make sure they never get hurt.

17. If your ho gets hurt. You're stripped of any pimp advantages and the rite to be called "mack daddy".

18. Horny guys are good, guys that don't masturbate are bad.

19. Guys, go for the loving. cuz if your girls not gettin it from you, she's gonna get it somewhere else!

20. Respect girls that don't ever bitch about their periods.

21. Don't respect girls with eating disorders related to social status.

22. Burn things whenever necessary.

23. Rascism is bad and completely unecessary.

24. If you think you're gay- don't lead on innocent girls.

25. Girls, should respect at least one guy, for their abilities to be stronger then she, both mentally and physically.

26. Guys who have more girl bitch qualities then girls- are bad.

27. Always fun interference for friends- it makes the friend owe you one.

28. Only use 'madam' when you stumble upon your local whore house.

29. Rules for guys when you're not wearing a shirt: belly button, inch (or more) below- boxers, another inch (or more) below- pants.

 

*Additions to the Rules*

3. Whether it be local, pro, live or on tv. Watch tennis.

5. def. of "jedi mind tricks"- it's like playing head games. mainly between a guy and girl. ex. "someone-who-shall-remain-intial-less" played mind games with me for about year, and when i do talk to him even now, he's very misleading... shame on him.

8. I have yet to kick the "initial-less" guy at his own game.

11. Okay, fine. Play Punk--- but learn to play some other stuff too.

20. If I can have my period without you knowing it, you should openly call me a goddess.

22. Things like: candles, pics, any sort of negative nostalgia, ex-boyfriends (meaning in a non-physical way.)

27. Interference is basically covering up for your friend. If you go somewhere you're not supposed to, tell your parents you went to so-so's house. Have that so-so person, run interference, answering the phone and such, incase your parents call or something. Moe's run interference for me, several times. Just make sure to let your friend knows what's going on.

28. Funny how you call the head of a whore-house and your French teacher the same thing.

 

Moe and MeYeah, that's it for now, but if you have any brilliant ideas, or think that we should add anything, I urge you to e-mail one of us: Heather or Moe and that way we can add more. Check this page sorta often, because hopefully, we'll learn more useful things, that you can learn from too. So thats it.

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