BATTERED HALF ?
By Deepak Sapra’92


Marriage, the old cliche goes, is like a dilli ka laddu - the guy who partakes of it is doomed, the guy who doesn’t partake of it is also doomed. Here is what a few bravehearts, who have taken the plunge, have to say on the experience of their lives:
· I married Mrs. Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
· It’s not true that married men live longer than single men do. It only seems longer.
· Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was damned near impossible.
· A man complaining to a friend, “I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman . . .then . . . pow! . . . it was all gone!” “What happened?” asked the friend. “Ahhh . . my wife found out .”
· A man rushes to his house and yells to his wife, “Hey, pack your things! I just won the lottery!” Wife responds excitedly, “Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?” The man responds, “I don’t care . . . just so long as you are out of the house by noon!”
· Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street bald and still think they are beautiful.
· I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months . . .I don’t like to interrupt her.
· A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle.
· If your wife and a politician were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?
· In the first year after marriage, the husband speaks and the wife listens. In the second year, the wife speaks and the husband listens. After that, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
· Before marriage I used to yearn for her. Now the ‘y’ has gone out.
· A man is incomplete until he is married. After that he is finished.
· A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife.
So all ye’ folks - especially of the Gym /Probationer/IRIMEE variety - don’t waste much time. Become dilwale so that you get dulhaniya home as soon as you can.

Enough of this bull....get me back to SAM index

Or better still, take me to Junction Point