This week's Tea Vree Programs.
SUNDAY
[5:00 A.M.]
[Ch:2]_SUNRISE SEMESTER
~Dr. Jasoom instructional: How to consume large quantities of coffee & stay awake in front of cameras.
[Ch:3]_FARM & GARDEN REPORT
~No Report! Nothing to grow. Invasion of body Snatcher pods have taken over all tillable soil.
[Ch:4]_HOME SHOPPING NETWORK
~Today's show comes to you from Deep Space 9 station. Among the topics: Quark tries to sell you his homemade centipeed jam; Jake sets up a lemonaid stand; While Dax & Cisco sells you parts of the station left intact from the Dominion occupation.
[Ch:5]_THE FEDERATION'S DUMBEST CRIMINALS
~Captain Sulu gets arrested after a high speed stellar chase. Suspect recorded on bridge monitor phaseing to death tribbles, in yet another outbreak.
[Ch:6]_GILIGAN'S ISLAND
~Our silly castaways find they are in big trouble when a Narn occupation force lands on the island.
[Ch:7]_CHILLER-THRILLER MATINEE
~[Movie P.G.] "Kill you all & eat your brains" - A whimsical tale of a disgruntled postal employee on the Mars Colony that had his ration credits suspended.
Special Offer Below!
[8:00 A.M.]
[Ch:2]_INFOMERCIAL
~Jasoom and his visiting guest personality, D.Trump,teaches you how to invest in a wide range of dirt cheap products that are easy to mass produce, the public can't live without em, & you can charge exorbitant prices.
[Ch:3]_LOONEY TUNES
~Daffy & Bugs cause mayhem on board Bester's shuttle, while trying to dock with B-5 station. Cameo appearance of Petunia Pig.
[Ch:4]_MORNING NEWS
~News host_Roseanne Roseanna Dana.
[Ch:5]_STUDIO WRESTLING
~'Mad Dog' Captain Janeway vs. 'Big Hair' Counselor Troi; re:match.
[Ch:6]_MILKYWAY'S CRAZIEST HOME VIDEOS
~Host William Shatner. Segments include: Spock's illogical birthday party; Q & Captain Picard in a slap fight; Special home video clips of Maureen Robinson caught in the Jupiter II's laundry escalator.
[Ch:7]_MR.ROGERS GALACTIC NEIGHBORHOOD
~Mr.Rogers treats the boys & girls to a ride on H.G.Wells time machine & ends up way in the future where they get pounced upon by the Morlocks.
[11:00 A.M.]
[Ch:2]_KOSH'S COOKING CORNER
~Today's segment; Kosh teaches the audience how to make gummy buns, ALA Vorlon.
[Ch:3]_ANOTHER WORLD
~[Serial] Dax falls in love with Worf, Odo falls in love with everyone, Sisko in a lovers triangle, with himself & two mirrors, Jake is arrested for continual loitering, on the over head walkway, staring at the new arrivals 24 hours a day.
[Ch:4]_AS THE STOMACH TURNS
~[Serial] Byron leads another sing-a-long, while Lochley and Delenn get into a slapfight. Sheridan & Garibaldi get drunk downbelow, Bester arrives on station & sets up a fortune telling parlor.
[Ch:5]_GENERAL MEDLAB
~[Serial] Ripley discovers herself chugging down molecular acid to quench her thirsty addiction, while she makes fun of her clones in the row of tanks. Cal runs amok after discovering her Master Card expired with the 'Company'. Guest appearance of the original Alien as Dr. Acid.
[Ch:6]_LIFESTYLES OF THE BORING AND OBVIOUS
~Odo takes the cam crew with him on 'An average day with Odo', culminating in a tour of his quarters.
[Ch:7]_TALBACK LIVE
~[Current events show] Today's discussion is the Iraqi Invasion of of the planet Vulcan; Sadam Hussain makes a cameo appearance & discusses why the need for weapons of mass destruction, & why it is logical.
[2:00]
[Ch:2]_BATTLESTAR PACIFICA
~[Movie] Commander Adama and Boltar are invited to tea, aboard the Battlestar Pacifica. Serena hijacks a Viper and blunders into a Cylon BaseStar. Boxie goes on a rampage. Guest Stars; Loyd Bridges. Fred Astair.
[Ch:3]_NEWS AT NOON
~Hosts: Roseanne Roseanna Dana. Patricia Tallman.
[Ch:4]_Dr. SIN, MEDICINE WOMAN
~[Serial] Dr. Sin saves 43 billion lives on the planet Endikar when she happens to synthesize a medicinal compound from tree sap to cure the raging epidemic on Endikar, when the entire galaxy's medical establishment failed.
[Ch:5]_SCRUFFY, THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
~Scruffy, singlehandedly fights back a vampire outbreak in Pittsburgh, Pa.
[Ch:6]_STAR TREK, THE NEXT GENERATION
~37,000 Klingon Birds of Prey arrive in Earth orbit, demanding tickets for 'Sea World'.
[Ch:7]_COLUMBO
~[Crime Drama] Someone poisons Dr.Smith's tea. Suspects; Robot. Penny.
[5:00 P.M.]
[Ch:2]_MUPPETS TONIGHT
~The cuddley little muppets run afoul of a room full of face huggers.
[Ch:3]_THE SIMPSONS
~Tonight, Homer sells Bart to the Pak'Mar'a's travelling circus.
[Ch:4]_ANCIENT MYSTERIES
~Social Etiquette of the Shadows, and their minions.
[Ch:5]_LAND OF THE LOST
~The Sleazstacs have little miss checker-blouse over for dinner; literally.
[Ch:6]_IN SEARCH OF
~Tonight, Leonard Nimoy investigates the Disappearance of the FIRST ONES. ALSO: Cameo appearance of Lorrien and his wife Loretta.
[Ch:7]_NATURE
~"DOWN BELOW" explores the feeding habits of the denizens at the B-5 station. The hour captures footage of a Pac'Ma'ra making Tang.
[8:00 P.M.]
[Ch:2]_JUDGE JUDY
~Will Robinson is sued by sister Penny for custody of Robot and Bloop.
[Ch:3]_PEOPLES COURT
~Infedelity case involving Sheridan, Delenn, Lochley, & Anna.
[Ch:4]_BEVERLY HILLBILLIES
~Ellie Mae is severely injured in an attempt to domesticate a Gorn. Granny is given a citation for making moonshine more potent than Alien's blood.
[Ch:5]_ANDY GRIFFITH
~Aunt Bea whups a Klingon for eating all her prize winning gooseberry jam.
[Ch:6]_GERALDO RIVERA
~Today's discussion; Why the need for Prime Time violence? Guest personalities: Bester, President Clark, Worf, Kublai Khan, Stalin, & Mr. Rogers.
[Ch:7]_MUNSTERS
~Herman, Lily, Grandpa, Eddy, & Marilyn vacation at the Babylon 5 station.
[11:00 P.M.]
[Ch:2]_COUNTRY HITS
Garth sings a medley of tunes; inc: Billy Joe McAllister Jumps off the Battlestar Galactica Bridge.
[Ch:3]_PET DEPARTMENT
~Raising your Orca, vitamin supplements for Gorgo, house training Kink Kong.
[Ch:4]_BRADY BUNCHES
~Jan is perturbed at Marsha for entering her name in a Psi-Corps application.
[Ch:5]_GENERAL MEDLAB
~More facehuggers escape as Bishop tries to replace the facehugger tanks with Polar water.
[Ch:6]_JULIA CHILDS/THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD STEW
~Julia is severely mauled as she adds 'The Carrot' to the stew. Segment on cooking your carrots with electrocution.
[Ch:7]_OPRAH WINFREY
~Oprah interviews officials of the 'beef' industry on Cardassia.