FORWARD
Hello there!
		I wanted to introduce this book myself so
I could let you in on what it's all about.  It's
about being a clown and serving the Lord.  Now I
know that a lot of you folks probably think the two
are like oil and water, but that's untrue.
		It's my goal that by the end of this book,
you'll see that the clown is another one of Gods'
creatures, created to serve Him.  You'll see that in
the end, the clown dies to himself daily, putting only
others first....following the example made by Jesus.
		Run (don't walk) with me to meet your
clown.  He's been there all this time waiting
for you to reach out.
                And if you don't think you can, don't fear
                                          ....I'll run with you!
						Jeffrey Hamel Sr.
The Clown Within
		It's the reason you hum the theme
from "Superman" the movie on your way up
in the elevator.  It's the reason you make a face
at yourself in the mirror when you're trying on
clothes at the mall.  It's the reason you blow
bubbles in your drink at a fancy restaurant.
		"Let me live with you" the clown says.
There is that unadulterated part of all of us,
that innocent spirit in us that wants to laugh
when we want to cry.  We cannot know the
clown however, he is locked away -never to
get out.  We have placed the clown behind
"The Wall"!
		What kind of wall do you think I'm
talking about?  It's the "wall" that won't let us
cry at a sad movie.  It's the "wall" that says
we can't read a comic book in public.  It's the
"wall" that says you're to old to watch
Saturday morning cartoons.  It's a wall made
of pride.  Pure and simple.  "What would
people think of me if they saw me  looking
through the toy aisle at a store?"
		We, as a people, are so worried about
what other people think, that we have to act
like someone else.  It starts in school when you're a
little kid.  People expect you to act a certain way and
dress a certain way.  If you are seen with the "wrong"
people, you are out of the click.  We are bred to hide
what we are.  We are taught to put away the child-like
side of us that Jesus loves so much.
		In Matthew 18:2 Jesus tells us that unless
we change and become like little children, we will
never enter into the kingdom of heaven.  In verse 4
Jesus tells us to humble ourselves like a child.  You
see, a little child is innocent.  To stay unadulterated,
we need to stop listening to the world and start
listening to Him.  Who wants to fit in with the world?
I think the clown has the right idea!  The world says to
worry about yourself and not others.  The world says
to put yourself first and not your spiritual brothers.
Jesus says "No, put others first.".  And that's what the
clown does.
		Tearing down that wall may be painfull, but
so is eating at your mother-in-laws house!  Ha!  Stop
worrying about what the world thinks, because they
certainly do not worry about you.  I only care about
Gods' opinion.  If the world sees your clown and thinks
you're not quite right, oh well, the world exactly didn't
do the wave when Jesus appeared on the scene.  And
if they thought he didn't fit in, don't expect to much
from the world for yourself.  Expect from God!
		Your clown is a part of you!  He is what you
really are deep down inside.  His child-like eyes see
the world full of people who need to be uplifted.  Your
clown is the best part of you.  It's you, but it's you
with out the sin.  Think of your clown as the "diet
special you".  No additives!  Consider this: when gold
is purified, they heat it, and all the impurities rise to
the surface.  All the gunk that doesn't belong in gold is
then on the top to be scraped away, leaving only pure
gold.  We are the gold, God is the heat, and Jesus
scrapes the gunk/sin away.  The pure gold is your
clown.  Dig it?
		As I said earlier, your clown is a part of you!
And as a part of you, your clown has a life of its own.
Just as Jesus lives in you!  Don't drag God (or your
clown) through sin.  Emmett Kelly said to the effect
that he sees the little Hobo (his clown), and that he
likes the Hobo.  And Emmett hoped the Hobo felt that
way towards him.  Your clown is as real as you are.
The Clown types
		There are basically 3 clown types.
Each has it's own characteristic and make-up
style.  These are the types:
		White face:  The smartest of the bunch.
This clown is elegant and not quite as
exaggerated as the others.  White faces'
wardrobe isn't baggie and fits just right!
Whether it's a bag or two piece!   It's name
means what it says for make-up.  An all white
face with small markings.  No big bulbous nose,
no wild wig. He is on the 1rst rung of the clown
ladder.   Not as cartoonish or zany as the next
type.  There is also the "Grotesque  Whiteface",
he is a cross between the whiteface and an
Auguste.  Wild like an Auguste but with all
white base.  Large exaggerated features!
		Auguste:  Pronounced "aw-gooost", is
the wild one of the bunch. Auguste is German
for "fool". When most people think of famous
clowns, they think of Lou Jacobs, who
personified the auguste clown.  This clown is a
living cartoon.  Big nose, wild exaggerated
wardrobe  with patches and suspenders, huge
shoes, crazy wig-the works!  Every movement is
large and blown up.  When he laughs, his whole
body laughs, when he trips, look out!  His make-
up is mostly flesh tone with just some white
around the eyes and white and red around the
mouth.   He is the silliest of the types and 2nd
on the rung of the clown ladder.
		Character:  There are a lot of charcter
clowns, each one represents a different lifestyle.
Such as a cop, fireman, cook, professor, doctor
etc...  The most popular however is the
Bum/Tramp/Hobo.  I like the name Hobo better,
so that's what we'll use for this book.  The Hobo
clown is the sad down on his luck, nothing ever
goes right for him kinda guy.  His sad demeanor
endears him to his audiences.  He has a great
sorrow in his heart, but tries to persevere
nonetheless.  His make-up is what you'd expect
it to be, white around the eyes and mouth, red
nose, black beard.  His wardrobe is tattered and
baggie (but clean).
	The 3 types of clowns have been around
for quite some time.  The novice clown should
learn the types and see which clown is his.
Who does he associate with the most?
Make-up
		Now what clown would be caught
without his make-up on?  Not you I hope!
Everyone has there own special way of making
up, and none of them are wrong, just easier for
who happens to be doing it.  I'll tell you how I do
it.
		First off, you'll need these things:
Baby oil, towles, small make-up brushes, baby
powder, clean cloths (make sure you want to
use them, they'll get make-up on them), a good
big towel,  a mirror, white base make-up, black
make-up,  red make-up, spirit gum (if you'll wear
a nose), rubbing alcohol, a powder puff,  and a
squeegee (that's what I call one of those things
they give you to clean out babies noses).
		There are 2 types of make-up to
choose from.  Either oil base or water base!
While everyone has their favorite, it's been my
experience that oil is better.  Here's why:   The
water base tends to tighten your skin, it kinda
feels like a sunburn on your face.  Also, if you
sweat while wearing it, you'll get streaks of
your skin showing through.  Oil base lets the
sweat through the make-up and not run. (Since
oil and water don't mix.)  Water base washes off
with soap and water, while oil will disolve with
baby oil.  Outside of the clean up, everthing else
is the same.  My advice is oil!  Hey, millions of
sardines can't be wrong!
		The first thing that you want to do is
wash your face with hot soapy water.  Get all
that oil out of your pores.  Dry your face and sit
in front of your mirror.  You should put your
make-up on from lightest to darkest, so that'll
make the white first!  If you need a brush, use
one, if not a finger will work nicely!
		 Apply a layer of white where it should
go, according to what type of clown you are.
(Look at other clown pictures to get ideas.
Don't steal the face from another clown, your
face should be your own, and besides... some
clown faces are copyrighted.)  If you can see
through it, apply another coat.  If you have to
use a trowel to apply it, the you have too much
on!  After you have the white on correctly,
powder your face with either the puff or use the
squeegee.   Use the big towel to cover yourself
so you don't get powder on your clothes!  The
brush off any excess powder.  Your white
should feel to the touch like a second skin.  Not
damp.  Don't over powder!
		Then the red!  Use a brush (or finger!)
and apply the red.  Powder again.  Then the
black!  Powder again.  If you plan on glueing on
a nose, (I like sponge ones personally!) make
sure the area of your nose is clean from oil and
powder.   Apply a layer of spirit gum to your
nose and into the inside of the sponge nose.
Allow it a couple of seconds to get a little
tackey.  Then  hold it on your nose for a couple
of minutes.  It'll feel a little warm and tingly
while it dries.  But once it's on, you'll just need
to slowly peel it off.  Any excess glue on your
nose can be removed with the rubbing alcohol.
		Clean up time!  Ok, you just cleaned up
the glue from your nose.  Swell, now take a
clothe and soak some baby oil into it.  Take the
oily part of the cloth and start to rub it on the
make-up in small circular motions.  The make-up
will dissolve, use a clean cloth and wipe the
dissolved make-up away.  Continue to do so
until you see you!  Then take  some soap and
wash you face with hot water a few times.  This
will open up pores in your skin and help get the
oil out.  I use a little rubbing alcohol on my face
afterwards to help dry out my skin, I have oily
skin as it is!  Everyone likes a Whiteface clown
but who wants to be a "Whitehead" clown! Ha!
		
Make-up Meanings
		Now I want you to know that the
make-up is important to the look of the clown
and who he is, but not as important as to why
he is.  Let me explain:  In the 1800's, actors
would apply large amounts of make-up to their
face, so that the folks way out in the back rows
could see their expressions better!  The make-up
isn't there to hide your face, it's there  so people
can see you better.  Like a magnifying glass!
The amatuer clown will hide behind his make-
up, using it as a wall.  But as we learned earlier,
the wall contains the clown.  Walls are good for
keeping things in, but they also keep things out.
Neither of these will do in the clowns' life!
		Each of the colors that the make-up
has, has a special meaning to the clown.  With
each layer of make-up applied, the clown steps
out more.
		The White:  White is the color of death.
When the clown puts on his white, he dies to
himself.  The old ways are gone!  (Remember the
gold?)  He is pure from sin.  This attitude should
be present.
		The Red:  Red is the color of life, the
color of blood.  The blood of Jesus is what
makes us truly live.  When the clown applies his
red, he is born again!  He is a new creature.  He
has been spiritually born again!  This attitude
should be present also!
		So, as you can see.  Make-up is more
than just grease, it's also Gods' word.  And you
know what they say: "Grease is the word."  Ha!
My story
		Everyone has a boring story they have
to tell, here's mine!  When I was a little kid, (ok,
young at least) I spent a lot of time alone.  My
father worked odd hours so I would be dropped
off to school early in the mornings.  Let's just
say my family life wasn't like the Brady bunch!
I would be there with just the janitor.  I'd put in
at least 2 hours before school started.  I felt
alone.  I also remembered it .
		Growing older, if I noticed anyone was
sad or alone, I would try to take their pain away
by making them laugh.  I didn't have the
dreaded "wall" because I was to busy trying to
help others.  I was a clown, I just didn't know
what he wanted.  He wanted out, I just didn't
know it... yet!
		At the high school I attended, there
was a teacher (Mr. Bisson) who was an excellent
clown.  He ran a club for clowning along with
his other duties.  And on the 2nd day of my
freshman year, I joined his club.  Needless to
say, I loved clowning with him and his group.  I
attended most every show for the 4 years that I
was in high school.  I graduated and so did my
clown.  I owe a lot to Mr. B, he was like a father
to me and to my clown.  He also gave me my
clown name.  I hung with him constsntly, and
since I was was his buddy, my clown became
"Buddy".  The name was perfect, because that's
all I ever wanted to be to people.
		The clowning also helps the man
within, as I told you earlier, I felt alone a lot.
And that shows through not only in my clown
name, but in the fact that I want to help others,
not only to be of a blessing, but so I could meet
people.
		I was accepted at Ringling Brothers
Barnum & Bailey Clown College, but
unfortunately, things didn't work out so I could
go to them.  I did however meet a wonderful
woman and we married.  I still serve the Lord as
Buddy, but not with a circus.
		And the band played on......
Philemon
		At first, clowns touched souls.  One
clown who did this was named Philemon.  Now
this was in the 4rth century when Diocletian
was Romes' emporer.  Philemon was a fool for
Christ also and like Him, was also crucified.
		Now Diocletian, who started out as an
army general, powered his way up to emporer.
He demanded that all people surrender all things
to him, but the Christian church stood in his
way.
		He decided that he would do away
with the church, this was his plan:  his army
was to get rid of christians, destroy the church
buildings, confiscate any sacred books, clergy
were thrown in jail, any meeting in secret for
religion was punishable by death and all
christians were supposed to offer sacrifices to
his pagan gods.
		Philemon the clown, showed up one
day at the alter dressed like a deacon.  While
pretending to be a deacon, he refussed to
sacrifice to the pagan god.  When the judge
there found out that it was only Philemon the
clown, he laughed and said that Philemon still
had to offer a sacrifice.  Philemon refused again!
He was then told he would be put to death.
Before he died, Philemon said, "The christian's
body may be riddled with wounds, whilst the
soul within remains unhurt."  Then he died.
Grimaldi (1779-1837)
		One night in 1808, a man with a very
sad face walked into Dr. James Hamilton's office
in Manchester.  The doctor was surprised by
how melancholy the man looked.  He asked:
		"Are you sick?"
		"Yes, doctor, sick of a mortal malady."
		"What malady?"
		"I am frightened of the terror of the
world around me.  I am depressed by life.  I can
find no happiness anywhere, nothing amuses
me, and I have nothing to live for.  If you can't
help me, I shall kill myself."
		"The malady is not mortal.  You only
need to get out of yourself.  You need to laugh;
to get some pleasure from life."
		"What shall I do?"
		"Go to the circus tonight to see
Grimaldi, the clown.  Grimaldi is the funniest
man alive.  He'll cure you.
		"Doctor," said the sad-faced man,"I am
Grimaldi."
Clown Development
		So now you have your make-up on and
your wardrobe as well, now we need to find out
what characteristics your clown has.  And to do
that, you need to ask yourself a few questions.
		Ask yourself this: What are the names
of the characters on Gilligan's Island?  What?
Did he just say what I thought he said?  Yup!
Where did Gilligan and the Skipper meet?  Most
people don't know.  But why is this important?
The reason that it's important is the fact that
there is a history.
		  The characters of the professor ( the
characters name is Roy Hinkley) and Mary Ann
(Summers) are more than just actors showing
up for work on the lot one day.  They have a
past.  Even if you do not know the date the
Howells got married, you know they did because
there is always references to it in the show.  My
point is that the characters know who they are,
even if they do not share the knowledge.  So in
line with that:
			1) What is your clown's name?
			2) Where was he born?
			3) How old is he?
			4)Any brothers and sisters?
			5) Favorite foods?
			6) Favorite book?
			7) Hobbies?
			8) Any friends?
		Well, you get the idea.  For your clown
to seem real to others, he has to have a history,
even if it's just to make it more real to you.  I
know that this might sound really weird, but
consider this:  You and your family finally get to
take that trip to Disneyland.  You've been
begging your Mom for 5 months, and she and
Dad gave in and off you folks went.  You arrive
one happy Saturday morning.  You cannot
control yourself, you are going to meet HIM!
Your Mom says to you that she'd like to get a
quick bite of breakfast, so off you and your
parents go to eat.  You're sitting there playing
with your cold eggs when all of a
sudden..MICKEY MOUSE!  He's there in the
flesh!  God bless!  HallelluyahHHHHH!!!  Then
something horrible happens, Mickey sits down
in the booth next to you.  He looks at you for a
moment and then the next thing that happens is
so hideous you almost faint.  Mickey starts to
yank his own head off!  He pulls his head right
off his shoulders and to your dissappointment,
he was only some man in a costume.
		See the analogy, one minute: God  of
Mouses!  The next: Some nobody!  When they
dress as Mickey, they are Mickey!  And your
clown deserves no less!
		How would your clown walk?  Laugh
at a joke?  Eat a peanut butter sandwich?
What is his M.O.?  Ask yourself who do you
have more in common with, Jethro Bodine or
Barney Fife?  What's the differences between
the two?  Quite a lot.  But even though they're
both played by actors, their characters share
one common thing:  HISTORY!  The characters
know who they are.  It's not just made up as
they go along.
		Ways to develop your clown!  There
are some fun ways to get in touch with being a
clown and being in a close relationship with
other clowns you might clown with.
	MIRROR:  This litle game helps develop the
"I lead-you follow" thinking.  You are your
friend's mirror.  You stand about one foot in
front of your friend and follow slowly all the
moves.  This will not only help you to learn to
anticipate someones moves, but will help you
break down the "WALL" by you having to be
dependent on someone else to move.  Try not to
laugh.  This also helps you to watch others and
mirror back to them.  It'll help sensitize you to
what you're seeing.  There are times when the
clown must be intamate with people.
	WHAT IT ISN'T:  This is a fun game where
you take things and use them as something else.
Like a pencil could be a cigar, or a book could be
your hat, or an apple could be a grenade.  This
little game of improvizing will help you see more
than what's there, and will also help you to be
more creative.  Make a contest out of it!  See
who can come up with the most.  Do it in a
mime.  See if your friends know what you're
doing.
		As a clown, you must learn to think
like clown.  How would my clown solve a certain
problem?  If he wanted to play the piano and
the bench to sit on was too far away, what
would he do?  Move the bench you say?  No,
he'd move the PIANO closer to the BENCH!
That's what I mean.  If he put on his tie one day
and it was wrinkled, what would he do?  Take
off the tie and iron it?  No, he'd iron the tie
while he was still wearing it!
		One thing that I like to do, is keep a
journal of clown things.  Nothing special, just
ideas jotted down when they come around.
That way, if you have any brainstorms, you'll
never lose 'em!
Stage Presence
		What does he mean by that?  I'm
going to go and do a show and stand up there
and strut my stuff and that's all she wrote.  OK,
that's one way, here's another.  First of all you
need to know where your audience is.  If you
don't know where they are, you might as well
go home.  As a performer, you want to give your
audience the best show you can right?  And
that means giving them 100% right?  You want
them to hear every punchline and see every
magic trick.  You want them to see the most of
you that they can.
		Knowing where your audience is, is
what will help you accomplish this.  When you
watch tv at home, it's only 2 dimensional.  The
people don't see you and don't even know that
you exist.  They are in a little box in front of
you, oblivious to your needs.  But when you are
live, that's just it.  LIVE!  You want to make
contact with these folks.  You want to involve
them in what you're doing.  You want to talk to
someone in the audience by name and make
your show special for someone.
	Here are a few things that I share with my
clowns for better stage presence:
		1)Where are you?
			Always remember where you are
on stage.  Are you on the "X" spot as it were?
Are you positioned correctly?  Does it look
natural the way that you're standing, or do you
walk on stage looking for the right place to
stand and then stop and rigidly stand there?
		2) Can your audience see you?
			Is your audience seeing the most
of you that it can?  Are you using the 3/4
stances to ensure that your audience sees the
most of you that it can so it can enjoy your
show more?  The more the audience sees , the
more it can understand.  If you are positioned
incorrectly, your audience could miss something
important in your act.
		3) I can't hear you!
			Can your audience hear you?  Are
you speaking clearly and outwardly?  Nothing
is more annoying than a mumbling entertainer.
Speak up and outwardly and let them know you
want to speak to them.  Sometimes an audience
will give up on an entertainer because he just
doesn't simply put enough "oooomph" into his
act.
		4) Know your patter.
			No one knows just how stupid you
really are until you open your mouth.  So, if
your bold enough to go out on the stage, make
sure you know what's going to come out of it.
Separate your routine into two sections: 1)
Mechanics and 2) dialog/patter.
		5) Know the mechanics!
			Knowing the mechanics is the first
step in performing a routine correctly.  Before
you know the patter, you must be able to
correctly perform the routine or else it's no
good.  If you hold the trick the wrong or you let
it "talk" or if your angle is wrong, and your
audience sees more than it should.  It's no good.
Learn to practice as if you yourself were going
to be your own audience.  Be prepared for their
suspicions.  Know how it works physically, then
apply your words.
		6) Muscle memory.
			After you've learned the patter
and the mechanics, with time you will develop
what is called "Muscle Memory".  Which
basically means that your body knows what to
do instinctively.  It also looks more natural and
smooth to the eye.  If what you're doing looks
forced and stiff, the audience will suspect
something.  Practice and learning your routines
is the only way I know to gain muscle memory.
		7) Character Development.
			All of the above is true for your
clown character.  Your clown character is
someone that you should know very well.  Apart
from the obvious joke, you should learn all there
is to know about him.  Do not simply use
something that another clown made funny as
your clown character.  Adapt it to fit into your
clowns personality and mannerisms.  Be your
own clown... discover the real you there is
inside.  Let him out to live a little.  The only way
to be a true clown is to be true to yourself.
	There's another thing that all entertainers
should learn.  And it's what I mentioned earlier:
Your 3/4 view!  What that means is that your
audience sees  the most of  you  at one possible
time!  I know there will be times when you have
an audience that's a little bit to one side or
another, or you'll have a couple of people too far
to one side.  Fine, turn periodically to include
them in your world.  You want to bring the
audience into the world of the clown.  Use their
names, Mention streets in their neighborhood,
etc...  You want to make them feel like where
they are is the place to be!  Reach out!
Your audience doesn't know
		One of the most frustrating things
about being a clown is the fact that your
audience doesn't usually have a clue what you
want from them or do they understand it is that
you are doing.
		Communication is very important
because if you do not convey your intentions to
your audience and make sure there is an
understanding, things could backfire.
		Case in point, I was doing a show at a
nursing home, and I needed a helper from the
audience.  I picked a nurse to help me becuase at
the time, she was the only real choice.  In the
trick I did, I was supposed to predict her card
form a deck of cards.  In truth, I'm supposed to
get it wrong 3 times.  After that, the trick works
out where thru a comedy bit, I actually got the
card right.  BUT since she couldn't understand
my suggestion that "I've made mistakes before ,
so don't worry...", she said I was right at my first
wrong guess!  Of course the lady thought that
she was helping me.  She didn't realize that I
had the whole thing under control.  And that is
wgat I mean about your audience not having a
clue.
		Sometime you need your audience to
rat you out and say they caught doing
something in the trick, or that they know just
how the trick works.  That way you can fool
them with it and have a little fun.  But if they
don't know what you are looking for, you might
just as well be talking to yourself.  The audience
might not  know that they are supposed to, or
can say anything during your performance.
		 That's another reason you need to talk
to your audience and let them know who you
are.  Sometimes it helps to have someone in the
audience that you know that can respond to
you if the people won't.  Sometimes you just
can't get a response and you will need it to
make the bit go over good.  this person is called
a plant.  Don't call too much attention to him,
but he can help by acting alive and inspiring
others to get involved.
The Clowns Job
		Just what is the clowns job?  I know,
it's to make people laugh!  Partially correct.
Every good clown should be able to bring his
audience into his world of make believe and
make them laugh.  But is there more?  Proverbs
14:13 basically says that even in laughter the
heart may ache, and joy may end in grief.   SO?
What does that mean?
		 It means, even though you are happy
on the outside, you may still be full of sorrow on
the inside.  SO?  How is this my problem?  How
can I fix this?  Well, that's what this book is all
about!  1 Corinthians 4:10 says we are fools for
Christ!  The clown not only is supposed to help
them forget their troubles, but we are also
supposed to uplift someone who is hurting.  We
need to give them something.  We need to give
them HOPE!
		The only real hope I know is JESUS!  If
we spread his message of love and salvation to
others, we not only make them laugh, but we
arm them for their spiritual battle with Satan.
But who would listen to the clown about Jesus
rather than someone who has been to college or
is more serious about God?
		 1 Corinthians 1:27 says that God chose
the foolish things to confound the wise.  God
chose the weak things of the world to shame
the strong.  People love the clown because there
is one thing he doesn't have, and that's the
"WALL!"  The clown has already taken down this
wall.  He has said, " I have no pride, this is what I
am!  I have big feet!  I may not speak to clearly,
but I will love you unconditionally if you let me!
What you see is what you get!"  The clown has
beaten us to the punch, he has ridiculed himself
first!  Who can go up to the clown and say, "You
look like an idiot" without looking like one
himself.  "Idiot"-DUHH?
		People are sometimes more willing to
open up to the clown than a pastor because the
clown doesn't have the "shirt and tie image"
where the person might think, "He's  only here
to make himself look like a big shot.  He has to
come down to my level."  The clown takes on
the role of the servent.  He is the lowest.  He
serves unconditionally!  People know the clown
will not judge them, and that makes them feel
safe enough to let their own personal wall down
and to reach out to the clown.
		As I said earlier, the clown dies to
himself daily, he also as the healer, takes the
pain away from others.  He gives of himself!
Wether it's at a church, or at an old folks home,
he takes the hurt in and gives back hope.  He
gives Jesus.  Wether the clown knows it or not.
I had a dream
		I had this dream.  It seems that Buddy
(my clown) and I were staying up in my fathers'
trailer.  During this time, there were people
there that I was trying to impress.  I really
didn't want him there, but there he was.  Buddy
knew I felt that way and kept crying.  I invited
other people over to see  him.  But  it didn't  do
any good, he was still depressed.  And honestly,
he was starting to embarrass me out front of
my guests.  His constant sadness and crying
was the most annoying thing I had ever seen.
How could a clown be like this?  I said to
him,"Stop crying!  I wish you would just leave
me alone.  I could have so much peace inside if
you'd just let me be!"  Buddy then looked up at
me with tearful eyes.  He said nothing as he
went to the door.  He then went outside and
never came back.