The darkness has descended once again. Shadows appear in the corners of my mind and I am fighting to breathe. Should I? Do I dare? Visions of flying, falling, freedom from this world entrance me. Sleep eludes me; taunts me. Where do I go from here?

The song repeats, over and over through my mind...can I escape? I have no energy to run...please can't anyone hear me? My screams go unheard into the night. The tears fall freely onto my pillow as night turns into dawn.

Another day...shall I eat? How much do I weigh? Do I deserve to give in? Stop, oh please God stop the voices...smile; my mask to the world. I laugh hysterically inside...they have no idea! Going on as though everything is fine, while inside I'm being torn apart. I can't live like this...

Models, beautiful, thin, tv, magazines...they're everywhere I turn. Should I look like that? Can I look like that? If I try a little harder, maybe...but they say it's wrong. They say I should love myself for who I am...God, I'm trying so hard...

The air feels heavy today. Clouds have taken the place of sunlight as I sit by the river. Hours have gone by but I feel no desire to move. I've almost made it through another day...was it worth the fight? Why wasn't today the day that I was healed? Why do I still hurt so much?

As dusk falls around me I once again find myself alone. Soft music plays in the background while I write...I can hear the rain on the windows and thunder in the distance. It was so hard today...but I made it. And I know that with the help of God I will make it through tomorrow.
 
  

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