DADE COUNTY WINS
THE MORONS OF 1997 AWARD
Let's hope that it can be chalked up to a momentary lapse of reason, and not a sign of mass hysteria. Maybe they're putting something in the water. At any rate, the voters of Dade County, or at least the ones who bothered to show up at the polls, recently agreed to a proposition which can only be at best characterized as a smacking hypocrisy; at worst it is a case of overwhelming insensitivity and general stupidity.
Whatever the motivation, it seems that the people have decided that Dade County is dead… in name anyway. One of the largest counties in the nation has just been re-named Miami-Dade County. It seems the people behind the change were able to convince a good percentage of the voters that most people generally associate Dade with its largest component, the city of Miami, and as such the hyphenation is "natural". Furthermore, it seems the argument is that the county will make it more easily recognizable.
Besides the fact that this completely ignores Miami Beach, Hialeah, and other parts of the so-called "Greater Miami" area, this change presents a rather cruel oxymoron the likes of which history may have never before seen. Gather around boys and girls, because it's time for a history lesson. Pay attention to what others apparently didn't. This story has no pictures, kids, they'd be too damned gruesome.
Alright, anyone who's ever driven around the fun and exciting streets of Downtown Miami knows or at least could guess that Henry Flagler was really the founder of the whole city. For the record, he brought the railroad all the way down to the Keys, making it possible for people to move down to South Florida in a fraction of the time that it took before and "civilizing" the area… though many will say the area didn't really become civil until the invention of air conditioning. Anyway, despite suggestions that he should name this new town something along the lines of "Flagler City", he decided to name it after the Miami, an Indian tribe up in the Ohio area. This is why there is a University of Miami in Ohio- sorry 'Canes fans, but they really do have more right to it then south Florida does.
So what was General Dade, the county's ex-namesake's opinion of Native Americans? Well that can probably best be explained by examining how General Dade earned his rank and notoriety. General Dade's claim to fame was slaughtering Indians in the Seminole Wars. As a matter of fact, Chief Osceola, the one so closely and affectionately associated with Florida State, was killed by none other than General Dade.
Now we've decided it would be great to mention the Miami Indian tribe and General Dade in the same breath. If ignorance is bliss, that would explain why so many people are happy with this decision. Way to go, south Floridians, morons stand proud.