An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down.
An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills.
When they arrived in town,he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.
"Nothing. I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist,and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said,"Indians ride bareback"
A Texas Ranger was in northern Mexico looking for rustlers when he was captured by a bunch of bandidos.The head honcho tells the ranger,"Senior,you are going to die at noon, but before you do we will give you one last wish." "what is your wish?"He proceeded to tell him again he was going to die at noon.
The ranger said he wanted to see his horse.The bandido leader thought that was a little strange but had one of his men bring the horse up to the campfire.The ranger grabbed the horse by the ears, whispered something to him,and slapped him on the rump, the horse took off like greased lightening!
Two hours later,the bandidos come and get the ranger,for it is time for him to be killed.Just as they are getting ready to kill him the horse comes barreling into the clearing with three naked women on its back.
The bandidos think this is the greatest thing that ever happened.They pull the women off the horse and have their way with them. When they get through with the women the bandido leader walks up and tells the ranger,"that was so great,we will give you one more wish before we keel(accent) you!"
Again the ranger asks for his horse,and again,the bandidos bring the horse up.He grabs his horse by the ears and shouts into his ear,"DAMN YOU,I SAID POSSEE!!!"
An Indian Chief and his wife rode on a train for the first time in their lives.The Chief got thursty and said "Wife,go get water."
The wife got up left and then returned with some water.
He drank it and said"Good water." Thise was repeated three times.The fourth time she returned empty handed."Where is my water?"asked the Chief.
His wife replied,"No more water.White woman sitting on spring."
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
He goes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling.
"WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MY HOSS?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered.
"ALRIGHT, I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHA BEER, AND IF MY HOSS AIN'T BACK OUTSIDE BY THE TIME I FINISH, I'M GONNA DO WHAT I DUN IN TEXAS! AND I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE TO DO WHAT I DUN IN TEXAS!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse is back! He saddles-up and starts to ride out of town.
The bartender wanders out of the bar and asks, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?"
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."