Tori Amos talks about her miscarriage
               By JOHN SAKAMOTO
               Executive Producer, Jam! Showbiz
               Tuesday, March 24, 1998
                 Tori Amos says a miscarriage she suffered at the
               end of her last tour was the seed for her new
               album, "from the choirgirl hotel".
               "I wasn't going to write this record as soon as I did.
               But at the end of 1996, I was near the finish of a
               tour and I was pregnant," she says in a startlingly
               candid interview included in her record-company
               bio, not usually the forum for anything weightier
               than a gushing sales job. (Amos, needless to say, is
               not your usual recording artist.)
               "I had known from very early on -- within a week
               -- that I was pregnant. So I lived with the feeling
               and got attached to the soul that was coming in.
               And then at almost three months, I miscarried. It
               was a great shock to me, because I really thought I
               was out of the woods and I was really excited to
               be a mom.
               "I went through a lot of different feelings after the
               miscarriage -- you go through everything possible.
               You question what is fair, you get angry with the
               spirit for not wanting to come, you keep asking
               why. And then, as I was going through the anger
               and the sorrow and the why, the songs started to
               come. Before I was even aware, they were coming
               to me in droves. Looking back, that's the way it's
               always happened for me in my life. When things get
               really empty for me -- empty in my outer life -- in
               my inner life, the music world, the songs come
               across galaxies to find me."
               One of those songs, "Spark" (the album's first
               single), appears to centre around Amos's
               miscarriage, as she sings: "She can crawl like a
               glacier/But she couldn't keep baby alive".
               "People had a very hard time talking to me about
               what had happened. And I had a hard time talking
               about it. But the songs seemed to have such an
               easy time talking to me. And I began to feel the
               freedom of the music.
               "Each song would show me a certain side of herself
               because of what I was going through. So a song
               like 'Cruel' came to me out of my anger. 'She's
               Your Cocaine' and 'iieee' came out of a sense of
               loss and sacrifice. And other songs celebrated the
               fact that I found a new appreciation for life through
               this loss.
               "There's a deep love on this record. This is not a
               victim's record. It deals with sadness but it's a
               passionate record -- for life, for the life force. And
               a respect for the miracle of life.
               "This record got me through a real bad patch. But I
               can laugh with this record, and I can move my hips
               to this record, which is really good for me. It's very
               sensual -- that's the rhythm."
               NOTE: All of the quotes above are taken from
               Tori Amos's bio, provided by Atlantic Records.

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