"I hate scary movies. Its a dumb ass white movie about some dumb ass white girls getting cut up."-Maureen

"Bitch, hang-up the goddamn phone and *69 his ass!"-Maureen

"She's an opportunist."-Randy
"Be kind she saved our lives."-Sidney
"Yeah then she wrote about it all in a book."-Randy

"Alright, don't you think your over reacting just a little bit?"-Gale
"No,what I think is that your money hungry, fame seeking, and forgive me for saying for mediocre writer has got a cold storage shed where her heart should be. No offense intended."-Dewey

"How do you know that my dim witted inexperience isn't merely a subtle form of manipulation used to lower peoples expectations there by enhancing my ability to effectively maneuver with in any given situation?"-Dewey

"One more thing, nice streaks."-Dewey

"I don't get it, Tori Spelling plays Sid and they cast Joe Milgarow to play me. At least you get David Schwimmer. I get the guy who drove Jane Seamore's stage coach in one episode of Dr. Quinn." -Randy

"I read what happened to your last camera man. The guy got gutted."
"His throat was slashed."-Gale
"Gutted, slashed, the guy ain't in the union no more."-Joel

"Uh, time out. See I don't need to be hearing about no dead camera man alright. Now I'm warning you guys I am a verb away from vacating these premises. I'm gonna go get some coffee, doughnuts, prozack and I'll be back when you guys start talking about something a little more save by the bellish alright?"

"What's your favorite scary movie?"-Killer
"Showgirls, absolutely frightening."-Randy

"Is that the best you can do? Why not set your goals higher huh? You want to be one of the big boys....Mason, Bundy, O.J.?"-Randy

"I don't know about harassment but you definitely got me for raising my voice in a public libaray."-Cotton

"Could I please remind everyone here that I'm an innocent man. Don't you watch TV? Current Edition? There was a very insightful program on which it was made abundantly clear that I'm an innocent man. So until you find me standing over a dead body with a knife in my hand I think you better treat me with the rights and privileges according to every citizen in this country."-Cotton

"Stupid people go back, okay smart people run."-Hallie

"Well, there's one thing you forgot about Billy Loomis." -Sid
"What's that?" -Mickey
"I fucking killed him." -Sidney

"Jesus Gale, you've got more lives than a cat." -Cotton