Surd Collection
There was a competition. Those who don't laugh for 100 continuous jokes
will get an award. Our surdarji gang headed by Bantu singh went to
competition but unfortunately only one of them got the
admission. So Bantu as representing the surdarjis went and sat with
other competitors.
People started telling jokes one by one. Our sardarji didn't
laugh a bit though somany others got dis-qualified. Rest of the
surdarajis were so happy after 98th joke thinking that they will get
their share
of prize since Bantu was sent as their representative.
But after 99th joke, Bantu started laughing, rolling on ground, no body
could control him.. His surd friends got angry and asked "are saale why
didn't you hold your laugh for just another joke",
Bantu replied " Are yaar, main kya karooon, woh joke
number 1 was too good "
Ticket collection
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Surd was going by train from Delhi to Bombay. He kept
getting off at every station to buy a ticket till the next station.
When the train reached Delhi, the Surd's co-passengers asked him why he
kept on buying tickets instead of buying a ticket for the entire.
The Surd replied that his doctor had advised him against taking long
journeys.
Detective job vacancy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three men were applying for the same job as a detective.
One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief
decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision
upon that answer.
When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him,
"Who killed Jesus Christ?"
The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him."
The chief thanked him and he left.
When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked
the same question.
He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked
the man who then left.
Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same
question. He thought for a long time,
before saying,
"Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said,
"OK, but get back to me tomorrow."
When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How did the
interview go?". Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'm
already investigating a murder
Salary ??
~~~~~~~~
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job.
He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he
came to the column
Salary Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
After much thought he wrote : Yes
just understand this
Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high caliber employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.
Regards,
Sd/-
Project Leader
A MEMO WAS SOON SENT FOLLOWING THE LETTER:
That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote
the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read every second
line (ie. 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, ..) for my true assessment of him.
Sd/-
Project Leader
Surd Names.
------------
What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer ?
Just-beer Singh.
What do you call a sardar who has only one drink ?
Just-one Singh.
What do you call a sikh female's boyfriend?
Her Pal Singh
What do you call a sardar who has only one hair ?
IK-BAL Singh
What do you call a sardar looking for happiness?
KHUSH-WANT Singh
A famous Khalistani profession?
Jarnailism.
khalistan history .. SARSON-DA-SAGA
the great wall of khalistan .. LONG-O-WALL
national dish of khalistan .. AKALI-DAAL
the dirty drain of khalistan .. BAR-NALA
a sikh scuba diver .. JULL-UNDER SINGH
a better adapted sikh diver .. JULLUNDER SINGH GILL
a bald sardarjee .. BAL-WANT SINGH
Punjab Engineering & Medical Entrance Exam
=========================================
Time Limit: 3 Weeks
1. What language is spoken in Tamil Nadu ?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with
particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social
conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope?
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic (check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand
is on the 5?
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)
8. What are people in India's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) easterners
(c) Northerners
(d) southerners
9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton
10. Six kings of India have been called Akbar , the last one being
Akbar the Sixth. Name the previous five.
11. Where does rain come from?
(a) Macy's
(b) a 7-11
(c) Canada
(d) the sky
12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
(a) yes
(b) no
13. What are coat hangers used for?
14. The "Jana Gana Mana " is the National Anthem for what country?
15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR-spell
your name in BLOCK LETTERS.
16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?
17. Which part of India produces the most oranges?
(a) Germany
(b) France
(c) Canada
(d) Gujarat
18. Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do you
have?
19. What does AIR (All India Radio) stand for?
20. The University of Chandigarh tradition for efficiency began when
(approximately)? (a) B.C. (b) A.D. (c) still waiting
*You must answer three or more questions correctly to qualify
---------------------------------------------------------------------
A sardar living on the 10th floor wanted to teach the sardar living
on the first floor a lesson. So he invited the sardar from the 1st to
his apartment for a meal, to which the sardar willingly agreed.
When the first floor sardar reached the 10th floor, he found a sign
outside the door of the 10th floor sardar's apt which read 'Mein
yahan nahin hoon'.
"He's being smart, eh?" though the first floor sardar. So he took his
pen out and wrote below the sign " Mein yahan nahin ayah tha" !!!!
Banta singh was in court charged with parking his car in
a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in
his defence. "They should not put up such misleading notices", said
Banta singh. "It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE."
Santa singh was walking on the road and paused to read
the graffiti on the wall.
It read "Padne wala gadha" (One who reads it is an ass).
Santa singh thought for an hour, erased and wrote back, "Likhene
waala gadha" (One who wrote it is anass).
Banta singh and Santa Singh boasting of their Grand
fathers Santa singh : Have you ever heard of Sardar Sher singh?, he was
my Grandfather who once killed two tigers with one bullet
Banta Singh : How's that possible?
Santa Singh : He lined them up and shot one bullet through both
of their bodies Banta singh : That's nothin! my Grandfather Jung
Bahadur singh once killed
a tiger each with half bullet
Santa singh : what?
Banta singh : Yeah! he had one bullet left and there were two
tigers, so he quickly sharpened his knife, aligned the knife
with incoming tigers, and then aimed for knife. Each of the tigers was
killed by half bullet
-------------
Santa singh and Banta singh were always boasting of their
parents achievements to each other.
Santa singh : Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?
Banta singh : Yes, I have
Santa singh : Well, my father dug it.
Banta singh : That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?
Santa singh : Yes, I have.
Banta singh : Well, my father killed it.
--------------------
Well, it seems that these three fellows, an American, a German and
Santa Singh,
are about to be executed in front of a firing squad. As the final hour
approachs, each man is trying to think of a way to escape his inevitable
doom. The time comes for the execution and the American is brought
first in front of > the firing squad. As the blindfold is being tied
around
his head, he decides
that he will attempt his escape by diverting the attention of his
executioners > at the final moment, and then running away.
The officer in charge of the executions starts his countdown: "10,
9, 8, .....".
Just before the officer reaches "1", the American shouts, " F L O O D
!!". Startled, all of the gunmen look up from their rifles and turn
around
searching for the onrush of water. In all of this confusion, the
American manages to take
off his blindfold and run away.
By the time the executioners are aware of what happened, the
American has made > his way deep into the woods. And, of course,
for the purposes of this joke, no
attempt is made to catch the runaway. > > The German is
called on next to appear before the squad. Seeing the American's >
success, the German decides to attempt a similar escape. He knows,
though, that his executioners will not fall for the 'flood' trick
again.
Instead, he decides
to use another natural disaster.
The officer in charge of the executions starts his countdown:
"10,
9, 8, .....". Just before the officer reaches "1", the German
shouts,
"
H U R R I C A N E !!". Startled, all of the gunmen look up from
their
rifles and turn > around searching for the onrush of wind. In all of the
confusion, the German > manages to take off his blindfold and run
away. By the time the executioners are aware of what happened, the
German has made his way deep into the woods. Again, of course,
for the purposes of this joke, no attempt is made to catch the
runaway. Santa Singh is called on next to appear
before
the squad.Seeing his > predecessor's successes, the Santa Singh
decides to attempt a similar escape.He > knows, though, that his
executioners will not fall for the 'flood' orthe > 'hurricane' tricks
again.
Instead, he decides to use another natural disaster.
> The officer in charge of the executions starts his
countdown: "10, 9, 8, .....". Just before the officer reaches "1",
Santa Singh shouts, " F I R E !!!!........".
Khushwant singh's collection of Jokes
-------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
In the corridor of a government office was a sign board reading
"Don't make a noise." Some added the following words: "Otherwise we
may wake up."
Signs outside a tutorial school in Meerut Cantonment:
"Expert Kotching in English given here."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A Store advertising a new brand of cold-cough syrup: "Got a Cold?
Try our Cough drops. We guarantee you'll never get better."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sign outside a Theka (Liquor vend) in Meerut in Hindi: "If you
drink to forget everything, kindly pay us in advance."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
On the rear window of a car (Enroute to Dehradun from Meerut):
Always drive in such a way that your licence expires before you
do."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Kakey da hotel is a very popular eating-place in Connaught Circus
It started off as a humble Kakey da Dhaaba with stools and
charpaees
laid out on the pavement and the tandoor, handees and pateelas
places
in open. With prosperity the kithen went into the read and a dining
room was furnished with tables, chairs as well as wash basin. One
evening a patron having finished his meal went to rinse his mouth
in
washbasin. He proceeded to do so with great vigour; gargling,
spitting
thooh thooh and blowing his nose. This ruined the appetites of
other
diners who protested to the proprieter. Kakaji went to the rinser-
spitter and admonished him. "Haven't you ever eaten in a good hotel
before?", he demanded.
"Indeed, I have", replied the errant mouth-rinser, "I have
eaten at the Taj, Maurya, Oberoi, Imperial, Hyatt."
"what did they say to you when you rinsed your mouth making
all these unpleasent sound?"
"They asked: 'You think this is Kakey da Hotel?" and threw me out."
Kakey da dhaaba has evoked another anecdote on cheap eating
places. An Indian abroad ran out of foreign exchange and went
> looking
for the cheapest eating place in town. He located an Indian
> >> restaurant and went in. He found three sections: 'European,
> Chinese,
> >> and Indian' He went into the Indian. It was divided into two:
> >> Vegeterian and non-vegetarian. He went into the vegetarian which
> was
> >> further divided into pure ghee and vanaspati. He went to the
> >> vanaspati section and found yet another division: Cash or credit.
> >> Cheered at the prospect of not having to pay in foreign exchange he
> >> opted for the Credit section. When he got to it he found the sign:
> >> "Exit: get out."
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >> Two men involved in an angry argument. One was burly
> >> Sardarji; other a frail Bania. Sardarji who was getting the worst
> of
> >> the argument lost his temper and slapped the Bania."Did you hit me
> in
> >> anger or did you do it in mazaak (jest)? demanded the Bania.
> >> "Of course I slapped you in anger, " roared the Sardarji.
> >> "That's all right," replied the Bania, "because I don't like
> >> to be made mazaak of."
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
> >> A judge irritated by a lawyer's behaviour, admonished him,
> >> "You are crossing the limits."
> >> "Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai," roared the lawyer.
> >> "How dare you call me saala--brother-in-law? I'll have
> >> you charged for 'contempt of court'," said the judge angrily
> >> "My lord misunderstood me," replied the lawyer coolly, "I do not
> >> call you saala, all I said was kaun sa law aisa kehta hai---
> >> which law says so?"
*****************************************************************
> > An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test
> > a lie detector.
> > The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer".
> > BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
> > "Ok", he says, "10 bottles".
> > And the machine is silent.
> > The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers".
> > BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
> > "Allright, 8 hamburgers".
> > And the machine's silent.
> > The Sardarji says: "I think...",
> > BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------
> > Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he
> > gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him
> > up when the station arrived.
> > This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees , the sardarji
> > deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber
> > quietly shaved off his beard.
> > When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went
> > home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed
> > when he saw the mirror.
> > Said his wife " What's the matter?"
> > Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and
> > woken up someone else"
> > -------------------------------------------------------------
> > Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started
> > thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing;
> > what are you thanking God for ?"
> > The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I
> > wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been
> > missing too."
> > -------------------------------------------------------------
> > Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very depressed.
> >
> > "What happened ?" asked Surjit.
> > "Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . "
> > "How come ?"
> > "Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and England was
> being
> > shown live on TV.I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the
> bet."
> > " But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?"
> > " Yaar, I bet on the highlights too "
> Laloo Prasad Yadav jokes:
> Laloo to a long-distance telephone operator:
> "Could you please tell me the time difference between Patna and
> Las Vegas?"
>
> Operator: "just a minute, sir ..."
> Laloo: "THANK YOU", and puts down the phone.
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
>
> At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the
> bartender,
> "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE."
> And the man's companion says,
> "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
> The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
> Laloo replies: "LALOO PRASAD, MARRIED."
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
>
> After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite
> sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a
> friend. "It
> took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT," Laloo brags."FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S
> TOO
> LONG." the friend exclaims. "YOU ARE A FOOL". Laloo replies. "SEE
> THIS CARTOON, IT IS WRITTEN-"FOR 4-7 YRS".
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
>
> After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go
> modelling. On one occasion, he enters a herd of buffaloes and
> resting his
> elbows
> on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the
> photo appears on the front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION !!
> Laloo, third from left!
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
>
> Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business
> Development to Bihar. The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed
> with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us
> three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like
> Japan." Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very
> "inefficient"," he
>
> stated. "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into the next
> Bihar!"
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> --
>
>
> Bill Clinton decided to 'teach' Laloo English, so he invited him
> over
>
> to the US. Laloo arrives in full grandeur. Bill announces to the
> nation that they should not be disturbed during the tuition. Inside
> the White house, they are locked up in a room, and Bill starts
> teaching Laloo English. Days pass by and weeks pass by, but there
> is no sign of them coming out. The whole country and its economy
> has come to a standstill, and press, newsreporters from all over the
> world are waiting outside eagerly to find the outcome.
>
> At last one day, the door opens, and out comes Laloo - beaming his
> resplendant white smile, looking cool and unruffled. However, Bill
> looks totally dazed, his clothes are torn, his hair is completely
> ruffled, and he has scratch marks all over his face.
>
> The shocked reporters ask Bill, "What happened Mr. Clinton ?"
> Bill replies : "Ee babua hamar kuch bhi naahi sunat hai !"
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Sardar ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in
six or
> twelve pieces.
> "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
>
> * * * * * *
> Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
> So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
>
> * * * * * *
> Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
> They always forget the recipe.
>
> * * * * * *
> How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
> He threw it off a cliff.
>
> * * * * * *
> What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
> A wind tunnel.
>
> * * * * * *
> What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
> The back of his head.
>
> * * * * * *
> What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
> Pull the pin and throw it back.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> > What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
> > Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
> >
> > * * * * * *
> > What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
> > Just-one Singh.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> > Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
> > They think their picture is being taken.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> > Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
> > Toes Go In First.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> > How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
> > It has a stamp on it.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> > Why can't Sardar dial 911?
> > They can not find the eleven on the phone
> >
> > * * * * * *
> > How do you get Sardar on the roof?
> > Tell him the drinks are on the house.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> > "Oh, look at the dead bird."
> > Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
> >
> > * * * * * *
> > What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
> > You always hear about them but you never see them.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> > Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to
a
> > regular one?
> > You have to hollow out the head.
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > SARDAR'S BMW
> >
> > BMW cars were having back mounted engines earlier.
> >
> > Sardar Hari Singh Purchased a new BMW and was driving back to
home
> > very
> > happily. On
> > the way the car broke down. Sardarji came out of the car and
opened
> > the
> > bonnet, trying
> > to fix up the problem. Immediately began to sweat.
> > By that time Sardar Gani Singh came by that way and saw our
sardarji,
> > totally confused and sweating, trying to search something
inside the
> > bonnet,
> > and asked him what was the matter.
> >
> > Hari Singh: "The BMW people made me fool. They have given me
the Car
> > without
> > the engine."
> >
> > Gani Singh: "Don't worry. I have spare engine in the back of my
BMW.
> > You can
> > take that."
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > TO LOOSE WEIGHT...
> >
> > The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day
for 300
> > days,
> > he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji
called the
> > doctor
> > to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
> >
> > "What's the problem?"asked the doctor.
> >
> > "I'm 2400 kms from home."
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > SPARE BOMB
> >
> > Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh got fed up with the Indian
Govt and
> > decided to blow
> > up the parliament. They took 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in
the
> > front
> > seat of their
> > car and set off.
> > Hari Singh asks "What happens if the bombs blast off now".
> > Gani Singh says "Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the back
seat"
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > COUNT THE CHICKEN
> >
> > Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh walked toward each other on a
> > country
> > road. Hari
> > Singh carried a burlap bag over his shoulder.
> >
> > "Hey Bhai," Gani Singh drawled, "what's in the bag?"
> >
> > "Chickens," was the reply.
> >
> > "If I guess how many, can I have one?"
> >
> > "You can have both of them."
> >
> > "OK, Five?"
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > ANOTHER COUNT!
> >
> > Our Sardar is walking down the street and sees a man jumping up
and
> > down on a
> > manhole cover yelling "86, 86, 86".
> > He asks the man, "Excuse me, but why are you jumping up and
down on
> > this
> > manhole cover and yelling '86, 86, 86'?"
> > The man says, "Well, I can't tell you that, but if you really
want to
> > know,
> > I can let you go under there and find out.
> >
> > He thinks for a moment, then his curiosity gets the better of
him, and
> > he
> > says, "Okay."
> > The man lifts the manhole cover, He steps into the manhole, and
the
> > man puts the
> > manhole cover back and starts jumping up and down on it yelling
"87,
> > 87, 87"...
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > EMPLOYMENT?
> >
> > Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He
> > promptly
> > filled the columns
> > titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column
> > Salary Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled
there. After
> > much
> > thought he wrote : Yes
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > * * * * * *
> > HEIGHTS OF REVENGE
> >
> > Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents
and
> > wehad to
> > spend
> > sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same every
time
> > he
> > tries to sleep,
> > one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound
"guooonn,
> > guooonn."
> > He getsvery irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the
problem
> > remains
> > persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in
his
> > hand.
> > He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to
take
> > revenge. Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says
"so ja
> > machchar, bete so ja".
> > After some time he finds the mosquito falling in to deep sleep
in his
> > hands.
> > So he goes near it and says "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
> >
> > Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed
to get
> > into a
> > double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom
seat,
> > But
> > unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
> > After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see
> > friend
> > Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the
seats in
> > front
> >
> > with both hands, scared to death.
> > He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck's goin' on? Why are
you so
> > scared ?
> > I was enjoying my ride down there ?"
> > Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.* "
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > CHANDIGARH OR JALANDHAR
> >
> > sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane.
He was
> > alloted the
> > middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the
sardarji
> > got
> > into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was
actually for
> > an old
> > lady.
> > After some time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to
leave
> > the
> > side seat. But
> > the sardaji told: "I want to see the view from the window and
shall
> > not leave".
> > The old lady then complained to the air hostess. The air
hostess came
> > and
> > requested the
> > sardarji to leave that seat. But sardarji was adament and did
not
> > leave.
> > Then the air
> > hostess went and told the asst capt. He also came and
requested, but
> > in vain.
> > Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of
the
> > sardarji, and the sardarji immedietly left theside seat and
returned
> > to the
> > middle seat. Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. capt.
asked the
> > capt.
> > what he told to the sardarji.
> > Capt. replied: "nothing. I just told him that only the middle
seats
> > will go
> > to Chandigarh. All others will go to Jalandhar."
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > SARDAR THIEF
> >
> > Santa Singh was shifting his residence. He was packing his
belongings.
> > By
> > midnight hewas too tired and dozed off with the house door
open.
> >
> > A sound woke him up. A thief was packing valuables. Banta Singh
found
> > it
> > very amusing; the thief was doing the job for him!
> >
> > "When this smart guy finishes packing, I will catch him". Banta
was a
> > hefty
> > guy; so
> > when the burglar finished packing, Banta Singh jumped on him
and tied
> > him
> > up. Then he
> > went to the police station and reported the matter.
> >
> > "What did you do to the thief"?
> > "I tied his hands; you come and collect him".
> > "I hope you tied his legs too".
> > Banta Singh felt a cold feeling in his spine; he had forgotten
about
> > the
> > legs. He sat
> > down for a while.
> > Then he cheered up and said, "Inspector Sab, the thief, he will
still
> > be there".
> > "How do you know"?
> > "Well, that fellow is also a Sardarji".
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > KHALISTAN JOKES
> >
> > Khalistan National Drink: Sarbat Khalsa.
> > Khalistan National Bird: Tandoori Chicken.
> > International Airline: Kitthe Pacific.
> > National Airline: Itthe Pacific.
> > National Anthem: Sten-a gun-a man-a ..........
> > National Taxi Service: Kar Seva.
> > National song: Bande marte hum.
> > Female terrorist: Hard Kaur.
> > National dish: AKALI-DAAL.
> > Sikh scuba diver: JULL-UNDER SINGH.
> > Better adapted sikh diver: JULLUNDER SINGH GILL.
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > PROFESSOR SARDAR
> >
> > Sardar Singh was very keen on doing his Ph.D. He was in search
of a
> > subject
> > on which no
> > one did any research before!
> >
> > As he was thinking over it, he found a cockroach on the table
in from
> > of
> > him. He decided
> > instantly to do a research on the roach.
> >
> > He picked the roach and put it in the centre of the table and
said:
> > "Run".
> > The roach ran.
> >
> > He pulled out one leg of the roach, put it again in the centre
of the
> > table
> > and said: "Run". The roach ran.
> >
> > He pulled one more leg of the roach, put it again in the centre
of the
> > table
> > and said:
> > "Run". The roach ran. This way the roach tried to run even when
it had
> > just
> > one leg.
> >
> > He pulled last leg of the roach, put it again in the centre of
the
> > table and
> > said: "Run".
> > The roach could not!
> >
> > Our Professor was satisfied with his study and started writing
his
> > thesis:
> > "When you pull
> > out all the legs of a roach, it cannot hear anymore".
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > COLOR TV
> >
> > Sardarji is buying a TV.
> > "Do you have color TVs?"
> > "Sure."
> > "Give me a green one, please."
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > CROCODILE BOOTS
> > Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a
pair of
> > crocodile boots. He
> > sets off to Africa and disappears.
> > Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting
crocodiles and
> > watch
> > him killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks its
legs
> > and
> > angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefeet!"
> >
> > * * * * * *
> > LONG FLIGHT
> >
> > Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to
Amritsar?"
> > " Just a sec," comes an answer
> > "Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up!
> >
> > * * * * * *
> >
> > TRAIN TO LUDHIANA
> >
> > Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
> > Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?"
> > "No," answers the Railway man.
> > "Can I?" asks Gani Singh.
> >
> > * * * * * *