She Came Back To Me. I think I’ve repeated this at least a hundred times and still I find it hard to believe. And as I watch her while she sleeps I find myself repeating it once again… She Came Back To Me. And yet as I marvel at her return my conscious is getting the better of me. She claimed me to be controlling and as I fought with all that I am to prove her wrong my latest actions have all but proven her right. In my efforts to bring her back to me once again I used many in my path. To say I do not love Emily would be a lie. I love her but only as a friend loves another. Our entire engagement and courtship nothing more than a ploy to get Gia and Zander’s attention.

To see her without me laughing, loving, and living slowly killed me and when I was at my lowest Emily came to me. We agreed to be together, rather we agreed to be a couple with the hope that our union would cause Gia and Zander to turn to us once again. I would watch her with Zander and instantly my thoughts would return to the times we shared together. Questions would course through my mind and I often wondered if she loved him as she once loved me. There were so many time I wanted to go to her telling her of how I felt then only to beg her to take me back but my fear would get the best of me. Fear that she would laugh in my face as she told me again and again why we could never be together. But more than fear of her laughter my greatest fear was her rejecting me. To stand before her and hear she no longer needed or wanted me I could not face. So when Emily came to me her hurt and disappointment as great as mine I took my darkest Cassadine traits and did all I could do to turn Gia’s attention to me once again.

So many times I wanted to end our alliance to instead work on the things Gia said ailed me but I would see her and Zander love and wonderment on their faces and the Nikolas she did not know nor like came back to be. In the quiet times when I couldn’t force myself to stand beside Emily continuing the fraud of our relationship I spent in the seclusion of our cottage. Our cottage… we learned, laughed, loved, and fell in love in that tiny place and I would give my life’s fortune if we could return to the time and simplicity of the us the cottage created. Even before she broke away from me I knew our relationship was changing and I was prepared to do all that I could to renew us. Though she never knew I repurchased the cottage, arranging it as was when we lived there, and I was going to spirit her away to this magical place in hopes we could return to us. But before I had the chance she placed her ring in my hand and she left me broken and alone on the docks.

The lie of my newfound life consumed me and on the night of the engagement party I was ready to stand before all and confess my sins. But yet as I saw her before me uncertainty and more importantly love still evident in her eyes I went to her hiding away the lies and instead holding her in my arms. I took her away with promises of forever ever after and now as I sit staring at her once again I am defeated knowing my promises will be broken. I move away from the bed wiping quickly at my useless emotions. I, with my lies and untruths caused this and as badly as it may hurt when she wakes I will tell her all. My emotions under momentary control I move closer to her once again staring at her once again logging away all that I see. Closing my eyes I remember the feel of her next to me as I hold her near. The taste of her lips as she kisses me chasing away the dark thoughts that cloud my mind. Unable to stop myself needing to feel her once again I kneel on the side of the bed running my finger gently across her cheek. She stirs in her sleep as I again touch her and I know I should stop but I can’t. I need her and I crave her and this possibly will be the last time I get to experience her softness. My hand again on her cheek Gia slowly stretches as sleep leaves her and she opens her eyes staring directly into my soul.

Gia- [softly] Nikolas…
Nikolas- I’m here Sparky…
Gia- [softly as she smiled] You don’t know how much I missed you calling me that…
Nikolas- Not as much as I missed saying it…

Seeing her smile spread across her face my heart contracts knowing the disappointment I will cause when finally the truth is learned. Her hand beckoning me closer I greedily take what’s offered rushing once again to her side. She is my love… my life… my heart and if these moments are all that I have I will cherish them with all that I am. I see the worry in her eyes as she gently strokes my face and I slowly crumble. She knows me better than I know myself and I know I will not be able to hide my despair much longer. And as her angelic voice calls to me I slowly nod knowing that I must confess my sins. And again fear rushes to me… she came back to me but will she leave again?

Gia- [softly] Baby what’s wrong?

I slowly shake my head my heart beating so loudly I barely hear her question. Her hand caressing my cheek once again I lose what little control I have left and a single tear slips down my face.

Gia- [whispering] Nikolas…

I look into her beautiful face and I whisper to her what dominates my heart and mind.

Nikolas- [whispering] I love you…

Her smile again my undoing another tear falls as she softly replies to me.

Gia- [softly] I love you too…

I need to feel her in my arms once again and I pull her close to me holding her tightly as her arms slowly wrap around me. She offers me gentle comfort and my heart breaks yet again. She came to me and I was given a glimpse of the life we would have had together. I rushed some things she may not have been ready for but I had to know how it felt to be joined together as one if even for a little while. Her mouth tenderly moves over my face and I am ashamed as new tears appear. Shaking my head slowly I finally move away from her staring into her wondrous eyes silently repeating my mantra as it repeats again in my head… she came back to me.

She once called me the Prince of Nothing and that truly is how I feel as I sit before her. I was nothing without her and as I slowly whisper my sins to her nothing I will again become. Caressing her tender skin I can briefly smile. I smile because in this sped up life we’ve existed in for the past few weeks I have lived, loved, laughed, all because she was beside me. She held me and whispered her love for me and I was reborn. My need for her so great that while she slept at night I often watched her. Maybe subconsciously I have hoarded all of my time with her locking it away in my mind and heart for when she realizes her mistake and leaves me once again. She came back to me but as sure as the sun slowly warms her I know she will leave me once again.

Her concern grows and I see worry and fear cross her face and though I know what I reveal will rip my heart to shreds I softly began to talk because I willingly will do all that I must to keep hurt and pain away from her. Gently caressing her cheek I stare at her once again as I whisper.

Nikolas- [whispering] I love you…

A smile dancing across her face my heart stops as she places her hand on my chest and softly whispers her reply.

Gia- [whispering] I love you too Nikolas…

I lock away this phrase fearing possibly she may never say it again before I continue with my confession.

Nikolas- I have loved you from the moment I saw you and my life… [slowly shaking my head] I have only lived because you loved me.
Gia- [softly as fear again clouds her eyes] Nikolas…
Nikolas- I don’t deserve you Gia. When you left me I died and I know I will die again when you leave me…
Gia- I’ll never leave you Nikolas… I love you too much… [softly smiling] You’re stuck with me…

Shame filling me once again I look down as I slowly cease to exist.

Nikolas- I lied to you…
Gia- [softly] Nikolas…
Nikolas- I rushed this… us… because I knew when you learned the truth you would leave me again and I wanted to know what happiness felt like if even for a brief moment.

Her hand on my chin she slowly lifts my head until our eyes again lock and she sees the truth in my eyes.

Gia- What are you talking about?
Nikolas- I wanted you to love me for the rest of my life but when you left me…
Gia- [interrupting my confession] It was a mistake Nikolas… I shouldn’t have left you…
Nikolas- [slowly nodding] Yes you should… I don’t deserve you…
Gia- Nikolas…

Taking a deep breath I slowly run my finger through my hair before I continue with my execution.

Nikolas- I was never going to marry Emily…
Gia- [softly smiling] Well it’s a little too late if you had planned to…
Nikolas- [slowly shaking my head] I love Emily but I was never in love with her. I used her… we used each other and in the end I think we may have compromised our friendship for nothing.
Gia- [softly] Nikolas I don’t understand…
Nikolas- We were together only to garner you and Zander’s attention…
Gia- [whispering] What…

I slowly began to tell her of my sins and my heart contracts as she slowly rises from our bed moving away from me and the us that could never be. I am losing her and there is nothing I can do. She is looking away from me and I watch in stunned silence as she slowly wipes away her tears. In my quest to love and have her by my side I may have destroyed the one beautiful thing in my life. I want to go to her and wrap her in my arms chasing away all her pain but I can’t. Tears fall slowly down my face and I stand behind her knowing that I, Nikolas Cassadine, Prince of Nothing caused her hurt. She came back to me and I sadly shake my head as the realization that I never deserved her to begin with comes to me.

Her tears too much I go to her wrapping her softly in my arms placing a tender kiss on the nape of her neck. Whispering a thousand apologies I hold her gently as her cries slowly stop. I feel her turn in my arms and my heart crumbles as I witness the sadness in her eyes. She looks up at me and I gently wipe away her tears as mine slowly began again. She speaks softly to me and as painful as it is I answer as truthfully as I can.

Gia- [softly] Why are you telling me this now?
Nikolas- Because you deserve to know…
Gia- Are you telling me this because you don’t want me… you don’t want us anymore?

I gaze at the sparkling jewels as they dance around her finger and I slowly shake my head knowing I would give heaven and earth for things to remain the same.

Nikolas- [slowly shaking my head] Gia…
Gia- [slowly shaking her head] Nikolas I know this was rushed but I want this… I want us to continue…
Nikolas- [slowly lowering my head] Sparky…
Gia- [her tears slowly falling again] I understand what you did and why you did it but…
Nikolas- [tenderly wiping her tears] Baby don’t cry…
Gia- [softly] Nikolas I can’t lose you again…
Nikolas- You won’t…
Gia- But…
Nikolas- Gia I don’t want you to regret all that we have become because the lies I’ve told…
Gia- [whispering] I won’t…
Nikolas- But you could be happy and in love with Zander but because of the lies I’ve told…
Gia- I don’t love Zander… [slowly shaking her head] I could never love Zander…
Nikolas- What are you saying?
Gia- My heart belongs to you and only you…
Nikolas- Gia…
Gia- Nikolas I never wanted us to end. I was afraid I was becoming someone you didn’t want so I tried to back away by putting the blame on you. When I placed my ring in your hand I wanted you to fight for us… for me…
Nikolas- [softly] But I didn’t…
Gia- You did… you fought the only way you knew how…
Nikolas- Gia…
Gia- Nikolas I love you and I want to be your wife…
Nikolas- [softly] But…
Gia- [gently touching the ring that decorated my finger] Nikolas you’re my husband and I’m the happiest I have ever been.
Nikolas- Gia… …
Gia- Nikolas do you love me?
Nikolas- With all that I am…
Gia- Then let me love you…

With a slow nod I finally breath as she wraps me in her arms loving me and holding me close. She came back to me and despite all that I had done she loved me regardless. I told her of my sins and misdeeds and she simply wiped away my pain with each tender kiss she gave me. In my darkest hour she has loved me and held me close chasing away what frightens me. She looked deeply into my eyes and saw my soul and yet she still does not turn away. Gia… my wife… my lover… my long lost friend… she loves me and welcomes my love in return. I am overcome with emotions and I can no longer hold them in. Tears flow freely down my face and I bring her closer in to me. Her love has redeemed me and I truly am born again. She is my love… my life… my heart… my soul and She Came Back To Me.