Chapter Five [5] True Confessions
~Mackenzie~
“I don’t know if I can go home…” she quietly said.
“Why?” Billy asked surprised by Mackenzie’s comment.
“There are so many things I want to tell you. I…I don’t know where to start…”
“Just take you time…”
“Well…” A knock on the door interrupted Mackenzie as she began to tell her story. “Who is that?” she asked frantic that her mother had somehow found her again.
“I…umm…I called Rianna to let her know we found you and she wanted to come over. Is that ok?” Raul said.
“Yeah…let her in.” As Rianna enters the playhouse she pauses momentarily to hug Raul before she goes to Mackenzie. Mackenzie nervously wrings her hands contemplating the things she has to tell them as Rianna sits down next to her. Rianna softly touches Mackenzie’s hands and says, “I’m glad you’re back.” Mackenzie smiles touched by Rianna’s sincerity. Rianna quickly hugs Mac as their eyes began to water. Rianna cups her face and wipes away Mackenzie’s tears and whispers to Mac, “You’re home now, you don’t have to cry anymore.” Mackenzie smiles again happy that they became friends despite the Brittany debacle. “Don’t ever leave us again,” Rianna whispers as she steps away to wipe her own tears. She hugs Billy and goes to hug Raul again. They stand with hands intertwined as Mackenzie takes a deep breath as she prepares to tell her story.
“Mackenzie why do you think you can’t go back home? They have been really worried about you,” Raul asked relieved that Rianna was by his side.
“Is it because of my mom, because if it is…”
“No it has nothing to do with Jill,” she sighs, “my mother…”
“I haven’t seen her since the day you saw her at the house…”
“They’re still here,” she sadly says.
“Are you sure?” Raul asks concerned by Mackenzie’s suddenly sad demeanor.
“Yes, even if my mom wanted to leave, Ben…Ben wouldn’t let…” her voice wavers as memories of her stepfather come back to her.
“Who is Ben?” Rianna asked as she noticed the change in Mackenzie’s voice as she said his name.
“My stepfather…”
“This has to do with why you didn’t want you mother and stepfather to find you isn’t it?” Billy asked also concerned.
“Yeah, I thought since I wasn’t part of the commercial and website I’d be safe.” As he voice trails off once again she says, “I guess I was wrong.”
“No you weren’t, my mom called them…”
“It doesn’t matter, Ben would of found me somehow. He’ll never let me get away…”
“Mackenzie, what did he do to you?”
“He…he…” troubled by thoughts of Ben she pauses and quietly says, “what didn’t he do.”
“Mac, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want…”
“I have to…” she lowers her head and quietly says, “I just…I’m afraid of what people might think once they know.” Billy, Raul and Rianna exchange looks as they sit beside Mackenzie. Raul sits on one side of her as Rianna sits on the other. As Billy sits on the coffee table in front of her he takes her hand to steady her.
“He…he…I…” again she pause trying to gather the strength to tell them. “I loved, I love my mom but she would never listen…she didn’t believe me…she,” Mackenzie stops as tears well again in her eyes. She quickly wipes at the tears as they begin to fall.
“Are you sure you wanna tell us?” Rianna asks concerned by the pain that covered her friend’s face.
“Yeah, it’s ok if you don’t. We’ll understand,” Raul says trying to elevate the pain he also sees. Mackenzie swallow and nods her head to tell them that she is ok as Billy tightens his hold of her hand and says, “Just take your time. It’s ok if you have to stop, we don’t want to make you do something you don’t want to do.”
Mackenzie softly smiles and says, “I know.” She takes a deep breath and continues, “Ben…my stepfather…when he came around my mom changed. She stopped spending time with me and she started drinking a lot. When she drank, most times she would blackout. And when she was passed out he would try…he would do things…”
“Things?” Billy asked scared by how the conversation was slowing turning.
“I didn’t want him…I never wanted him to…,” she said as she started to cry again. Trying her best to comfort Mackenzie Rianna slowly began to stroke her hair.
“Mackenzie, what did he do to you?” Raul slowly asked.
“He would say really rude things just to hurt me. And when I was finally able to block out his words, and they stopped hurting. But then he started hitting me.” She paused as she took a deep breath. “It started out as a push or two, then he would hit me whenever he said I was getting out of line. And the more it went on the worse it became. He would hit me so hard I would have bruises for days, but my mom never tried to stop him. I begged her but she would just look at me like she had no idea what I was talking about.” She paused again lost in the thoughts and pains of before. She slowly continued, “ Once when I was out of school for two weeks because of how he hit me, I heard my mom trying to tell him not to hit me anymore and he started hitting on her. So from that point on I knew not to complain or go to my mom, because if she tried to help me he would just hit her. And I couldn’t let my mom get hit because of me.”
“Oh Mackenzie…I’m so sorry…” Rianna cried as she heard Mackenzie’s story.
Raul slowly reached out to softly touch her arm as he also says, “I’m sorry that you had to go through that. But you have no reason to be ashamed, he’s the one who should be.” She manages a small smile at Raul to say thank you.
“I…we’ll protect you now, you never have to worry again,” Billy quietly says. She tries to smile at Billy but she is unable to look at him. She lowers her head as she softly sobs again. “Mac what is it?”
“That’s not the reason I left. It got to the point that I could take him hitting me. I wouldn’t cry, I wouldn’t react, I’d just take it and go to my room. And this made him angry, so angry that…”
“That what?”
“My mom finally decided to spend a day with me and this made him mad. So while we were gone he had been drinking heavily. When we walked in the door he started yelling at my mom but when she tried to explain he started hitting her. He wouldn’t stop…no matter how much she begged him to…he just kept hitting her. I tried to jump in and make him stop and he smacked me hard across the face. He hit me so hard I was dazed for a few seconds. I went in my room and started packing right then and there, I was gonna do whatever I had to do to get out of there. It got real quiet so I knew my mom was in her room crying and he was in there apologizing for what he did. So I thought that this would be the best time for me to leave.” She pauses as she stands to walk to another side of the room away from Billy, Raul and Rianna. As she touches the dollhouse in the corner she continues. With her back still to them she softly says, “It was quiet so I listened to make sure that they were still in their room. When I didn’t hear anything I assumed it was safe to leave but when I opened my door…” she pauses as she gathers herself and takes a deep breath. “Ben was standing there and he pushed his way into my room and locked the door behind him. I…I…I didn’t know what he was gonna do but I was scared. He came over to me and started apologizing saying how he was sorry that he hit me and he promised he wouldn’t do it again.” She stopped again as she stared off revisiting a past she didn’t want to return to. Billy, Raul and Rianna stared at her silently, afraid of what her stepfather may have done to her. Not wanting to break the momentary peace Mackenzie found they remained silent.
Still lost in thought, Mackenzie walks to a shelf of stuffed animals. Trying to block out the pain remembering was causing her; she wraps her arms tightly around herself and with a sorrow filled sigh she begins again. “He hugged me still apologizing, saying that the alcohol made him act that way and that he would never drink again. I knew he was lying but I just wanted him to stop touching me so I kept quiet. He moved away like he was about to leave but he suddenly turned back to me and grabbed me. Then he tried…he…he tried to kiss me.” Rianna covers her mouth as tears rim her eyes and to hide her cries. Billy and Raul again exchange a look, as they remain silent not sure of what to say. Mackenzie continues, “I…I pushed him away, but he grabbed me again. I started to scream but he covered my mouth with his hand.” She begins to cry again as flashes of moments of long ago invade her thoughts. Crying she says, “He pushed me down on my bed and…and told me if I screamed again he’d only make it worse. I…I couldn’t take him kissing me and trying to touch me and I begged him to stop. He just laughed and said that he had been waiting for a long time to give me exactly what I deserved. I panicked and tried to fight him off me. Somehow I did and he fell off me to the other side of the bed in pain cursing and…and promising to teach me a lesson. I…I didn’t give him the chance, I grabbed my bag and ran out the room. I ran to tell my mom what he just did and she started screaming at me saying I was lying because I didn’t want him around. I cried and cried that I was telling the truth but she just wouldn’t believe me. When Ben called my name I looked at my mom and knew she wasn’t going to help me. When he came in the room and she saw the scratches on his face; she looked at me and she…she slapped me. I looked at Ben then back at my mom and I knew she would never protect me from him.” Mackenzie wiped at her tears as she whispered, “I knew I was on my own, so I ran. I ran out the house and never looked back. I heard the door slam but I kept running. I didn’t know where I was going but I knew I had to get away. And when I got far enough away I promised myself that I would never go back.” As her voice trailed off again she softly said, “I can’t go back.” Rianna quickly wiped away the tears that streamed down her face as she went to Mackenzie to wipe away her tears. She softly says to Mackenzie, “You’re not going back. I, we won’t let them take you.” They hug strengthening the bond of friendship between them. “How did you know to come to Genoa City?”
“I found a letter from Brock to my mom saying if she ever needed help to contact Kay. I didn’t know what I would encounter once I met her but I knew it was better than anything that I had at home.”
“So that’s why you dropped out the commercial and website, because you didn’t want them to seeing you and coming to look for you?” Raul asked.
“Yeah, and it almost worked…”
“Why would Jill call them…”
“Because she knew I didn’t want my mom to find me, and because I did the one thing she told me not to…”
“What did you do?”
“She dated me.” Billy said sadly. “This is all my fault. If it wasn’t for my mom…” he sighed he buried his face in his hands. Mackenzie comes to him and they embrace. She assures him that even without Jill’s interference they would have eventually found her.
“So what are you gonna do now?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t know…”
“You have to tell Kay and Brock what you went through. You have to go and see them.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“If you need me, I’ll be by your side.” Billy said as he took her hand.
“We’ll be by you side.” Raul and Rianna said at the same time as they came to stand by Mackenzie.