(Cameras fade to Sensuous Samantha & Chris Wrigley sitting at the broadcasting table.) SS: We are ready to rumble! CW: KNICK MAN IS GONNA WIN! SS: Blah, blah, blah! LORD AWESOME IS TAKING IT ALL! CW: We're going to find out! TO THE RING! [The following contest is the MAIN EVENT! It is scheduled for one fall and it will be a NO HOLDS BARRED match for the vacant ASW World Heavyweight Championship! Now, here are the participants! ("Can't Nobody Hold Me Down" by Puff Daddy blast throughout the arena) .. Coming down the aisle, from New York City, weighing in at 237 pounds, he is a former ASW World Champion and is truly one of the greats in our sport, here is "The Franchise" ANDRU EDWARDS! (Puff Daddy is cut off and Unforgiven II plays over the PA as The whole Cult moves to the ring, Sephiroth, Spirits of Rage followed by "Crazy" Chris Morley then "The Fury" Frank Crow. They all enter the ring! Chris sits on the top Rope as Frank Crow and the Spirits of rage stand in the ring looking toward the aisle.) SS: That's not Andru Edwards! That's Frank Crow and the members of The Cult! What are they doing distrubing the Main Event? CW: Frank Crow isn't scheduled to be in the Main Event! "The Fury" Frank Crow: Well, Its Silent NIGHT! And yet Frank Crow still doesn't have a DAMN match but introducing the newest MEMBER OF THE CULT WILL SURE BE ENOUGH EXCITMENT! The newest member of the Cult is so exellent it amazes me that he actually said yes when I asked him to join, he is a man who with such Greatness and so much talent his middle name should be GOLD! Ladies and Gentelmen! The NEWEST Member of the Cult!!!! (The lights go dim, and the crowd starts cheering. We see them lighting lighters, and we hear a strange music playing, very faintly, over the arena. All of a sudden, all four turnbuckle posts shoot out fireworks, and the lights come right back on. Standing in the middle of the ring is "THE FRANCHISE" ANDRU EDWARDS!!!) "Franchise" Andru Edwards: Well, well, well. Tonight is my big night isnt it? "The Franchise" Andru Edwards is getting his big shot at the ASW World Heavyweight Championship. Three way dance, and there are no rules. Who would ever think that Andru Edwards could win a match like this? Certainly not the ASW since all they have talked about is how a champion needs to be very vocal. ASW, I have done it all for you. You told me to come out here and save your precious league when Hades almost destroyed it and left it, as well as its owner, in shambles. I ran in and made the save. Without me, the ASW would be NOTHING right now. You told me to turn to the fans. Slap hands on the way to the ring, kiss babies, do it for them...well all of these people can go to HELL for all I care. Tonight I am getting my big opportunity. Hey...I am in the building arent I? I am dressed in my ring gear, and I am ready for a down and dirty fight...but remember...That doesnt mean I will be competing. You see, it has gotten to the point here in the ASW where I really dont CARE about your world title. It has been so defamed that it really means nothing to me at all. Hades has urinated on it, Draven held it for a week...then it was vacant, and the man who is NOW champion, won it with a hook of the tights. That isnt world class. To me, that is garbage. To me, that belt means sh*t. I dont even want the damn thing, so what use would it be to ME to put my career on the line in a 3 way dance for something that I really dont even care about? Makes no sense at all. Now these men that are in this ring are my followers. They all know what I am all about, and they are going to stick behind me no matter what....and ASW...the rumors are true...and its time to introduce to you..right here in the ASW..The Franchise's latest PROTEGE... "Fury" Frank Crow: Wait a second Andru, let's wait for that first let us guys get a few words in. Lately the ASW have not been paying much attention to me! I am not paying much to ASW! What I need right now is a TITLE HERE is the ASW! Stunning Steve, Xavier Cole if you guys want to take it to the all out i am here waiting, You see guys, I am damn sure ready to take both of you cheap excuses for wrestlers to the extreme! I am not gonna stand and wait for this to happen. I am gonna make sure that i step in the ring with Xavier Cole and Stunning Steve, you know Xavier! Your right, You are Trailer Trash. Your worthless just like Stunning STEVE! I am not letting Stunning steve take that belt or you! Hell, If you took that belt some old hick would probably find it in the land fill in the bottom of Cob county Georgia! Hell Xavier! I really don't care if you are the American Champion or not i still wan't you to step in the rign so you could actually see what happens when you step in the ring with a member of the most Elite group in American and international wrestling today. You become a composed block of TRASH! And that title becomes worth atleast Ten dollars around the waist of Frank Crow!! "Crazy" Chris Morely: Raje? Let me get this straight! You want respect from losers like T3 and other ASW jobbers! You want respect from the fans and you turn to Richard Richards. Oh yeah like he will make a big difference. Raje you want respect step in the ring with me and GET BEAT. Doesn't sound much like respect? Well people will respect you if you are even able to walk away!!!! Raje. Your nothing compared to me! ASW offered me the main event! They give you a preview show! you are no match for any Cult members! I dare you to get in any of our Faces! I'll drive your head so hard in to the mat you'll be hearing Voices worse then Frankie Starz and the Rest of those HOA Quiers! "Franchise" Andru Edwards: Now without further adieu, ladies and gentlemen, here is my NEW valet, and the woman that will lead wrestling into the new year.......DELICIOUS DANIELLE!!! ("Lollipop" By Aqua Plays over the PA as a Beautiful woman makes her way down todown to ring side. She is wearing a Red Santa Claus teddy, With black knee high boots, She is also wearing a necklace made out've the Anti-depressants Paxil and the tranqualizer Xanax. She is wearing Dark red lipstick with lip liner, she has Gray eyes with long reddish brown hair. She glides to the ring with a grace that fills everyone in the arena with quiet delight.) "Delicious" Danielle: Andru Edwards was a good boy this year, so Santa put me in his stocking. (Giggles and licks her candycane) I am the new fantasy. The Cult has been veeeeerrrrrrry bad this year. They all deserve coal in their stockings. (Twists a strand of hair around her finger) But the baddest of them all has been you Sensuous Samantha (Points to Sensous Sam) You don't treat us with the respect that we deserve. You deserve coal in your stocking!!! I'd put it in the ones your wearing but first we need Chris Wrigely's hand out've the WAY! Your blatant disrespect for my Drubaby is why I pulled him out've the WORLD title match! Oh and by the way whats the Deal with taking Frank Crow off the Pay-per-view Card! you think you can do that to my brother? (Crowd Shocked) I mean, UMMMMM Uh OHHH! "Fury" Frank Crow: F#*k! Danielle, I didn't want them to know that a lunatic like you was my SISTER! "Delicious" Danielle: AHHH Don't hit me! (Hides behind Andru Edwards with a scared look) Andru protect me. "Franchise" Andru Edwards: (Chuckles) Away from my woman Frankie...leave her alone..who cares what the damn crowd knows. These are all just a bunch of idiots anyways! You people better just shut up!! If you make me mad enough, you are REALLY going to lose your main event for this evening! Now Danielle.. (He turns to Danielle.) Andru Edwards: Anything else you would like to add baby? "Delicious" Danielle: Should I tell them about when we're gonna jump Stunning ST...Opps! I'll shut up now! (Zips her lips and dances around the ring) "Franchise" Andru Edwards: Uhhh...Danielle...just stand there and look pretty... "Fury" Frank Crow: Well, Why the hell are we out lets go! (The New Cult disappears into the crowd.) SS: I can't believe it! That lazy bum has refused to wrestle this match! And he just walked out with his newest friends, The Cult! Who does he think he is? CW: I don't know, but that's the second man that won't be wrestling tonight in this match! We just found out eariler that Dark Bishop (snickers) won't be wrestling either! SS: I know you had something to do with that Chris! CW: I'm innocent! And also Samantha, what's up with your man Lord Awesome? He's been silent as of late. We might not even have a Main Event! They all fear my man, THE KNICK MAN! SS: Oh shut up Chris! Lord Awesome is here and I'm going to get him right now! (Sensuous Samantha leaves the broadcasting area) CW: Well Samantha is going to get Lord Awesome! Let's go to the ring announcer! (Alice and Chain's "We Die Young" blast throughout the arena) .. Making his way to the ring, accompained by his manager, Sensuous Samantha, currently residing in New York City, weighing 235 pounds, he is the current and the longest reigning ASW Intercontinal Champion of all time, here is LORD AWESOME! (Lord Awesome walks down the down the aisle as Sensuous Samantha leads him. He has the ASW Intercontinental title around his waist, and his black and red wrestling tights. The fans try to touch him, but he jerks away. Samantha climbs on the apron, and of course receives many whistles. She sits on the ropes, and let's Awesome climb in the ring. She then climbs in. Awesome raises his arms, the lights dim, and he receives black and red fireworks that shoot up from the ring post. He then takes his ASW Intercontinental title and raises it above his head, the crowd goes wild.) CW: And here comes Samantha! SS: See, I told you he would be ready! And he's going to beat The Knick Man tonight and win the ASW World Championship! CW: In your dreams! I'm going to get the Reel World Champion right now! (Chris Wrigley leaves the broadcasting area) SS: And Chris has gone to get The Knick Man. Looks like we're going to have a one on one match tonight. ("Go NY Go NY Go" blast throughout the arena.) .. And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by his manager, Chris Wrigley, from New York City, weighing in at 250 pounds, he is the former ASW World Heavyweight Champion and is the self-professed "Greatest Man on the Face of The Earth" he is The One, The Only, THE KNICK MAN!] (The lights go out as the image of a basketball is shown on the arena floor. Blue and orange fireworks shoot up in the air and a loud explosion is heard as The Knick Man and Chris Wrigley make their way to the ring. Chris Wrigley leads the way holding the ASW World Championship. The Knick Man walks behind him tapping hands with some of the fans, walking with supreme confidence without a care in the world. They reach the ring and they both lift their arms in the air as blue and orange fireworks explode and the fans cheer loudly.) SS: And here comes Chris! CW: Standing right there Samantha is the greatest man in the industry today! He is the true ICON of this sport! SS: I don't think so! Knick Man may be great! And he may be sexy! But there is only ONE man that is truly AWESOME and that is my man, LORD AWESOME! CW: We'll just see about that! SS: What are you up to Chris? CW: Oh, nothing! (grins evilly) SS: You better not cheat Chris or else I'm going to take care of you myself! CW: Is that a promise? (grins evilly again) SS: (slaps Chris playfully) Stop that you naughty boy! And the bell has rung. The Knick Man and Lord Awesome with a great display of sportsmanship, shaking hands before the beginning of the match. This is not going to be a pretty one folks, as we have two of the ASW's finest battling it out in a NO HOLDS BARRED match! They lock up and The Knick Man, the bigger of the two, overpowering Lord Awesome and backing him into the corner. LA grabbing the ropes and The Knick Man releasing the move. They lock up again and LA with a knee to the stomach of Knick Man. And Lord Awesome with a clothesline, knocking Knick Man to the mat! CW: Come on Knick Man! Lord Awesome picking him up now and he sends him to the ropes. LA ducking his head too early and The Knick Man grabbing him and SWINGING NECKBREAKER by Knick Man! Knick Man with the cover! ONE! TWOOOOOOOOO! And Lord Awesome with the kickout. Knick Man almost had your man beat in record time Samantha! SS: WHATEVER! Knick Man picking Lord Awesome up and he applies a standing wristlock. But Lord Awesome reverses it and now Knick Man is in the wristlock. So far these men have been just wrestling. Don't they know it's NO HOLDS BARRED! Come on! I wanna see some blood! CW: And Knick Man witht he thumb to the eye of Awesome! Knick Man picking him up and SNAP SUPLEX! Knick Man with another cover.. ONE! TWOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOO! Lord Awesome kicking out again. Knick Man lifting him up and the Irish Whip to the ropes! Knick Man charging in and NO! Lord Awesome moves out of the way and Knick Man hitting the corner hard! And Lord Awesome just waiting for him and he rolls him up for the pin! ONE! TWOOOOOOOO! NOOOOO! YES! Knick Man able to kick out! Thank the Lord! SS: Awesome should have pulled the tights! It worked for Knick Man! CW: Shut up! SS: COME ON AWESOME! Awesome picking The Knick Man up and a body slam to the mat! Awesome measuring him up and he drops an elbow on top of KM! And Lord Awesome now kicking The Knick Man repeatively! Yeah, that's the way to do it Lord! Forget that friendship crap! This is for the WORLD TITLE! CW: But Knick Man just grabbed his foot and Awesome falls to the mat. KM getting up now and he's trying for a figure-four leglock, but Awesome kicking him in the butt, sending Knick Man flying into the turnbuckle! Awesome now up and he slaps on a Bulldog Headlock. Knick Man trying to break out of it, but Lord Awesome has it on pretty tight. Lord Awesome now grabbing Knick Man and RUNNING BULLDOG! And there's the cover! ONE! TWOOOOOOO! Knick Man able to kick out! You're not going to be able to beat the Knick Man that easily! SS: Oh please! Awesome picking Knick Man off the mat. He's setting him up and nice gutwrench suplex by the man they call Awesome! Awesome with the pin! ONE! TWOOOOOO! NO! Knick Man kicking out again. Awesome picking Knick Man up off the mat. He sends him to the ropes and runs after him and CLOTHESLINE BY AWESOME SENDS KNICK MAN FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPES! YOU GO BOY! CW: Lord Awesome now climbing up to the top ropes. Knick Man trying to recover. Lord Awesome off the top and DOUBLE AX-HANDLE by Awesome. Knick Man is down now, and Lord Awesome is taking control. Oh boy! Lord Awesome grabbing some microphone cord that was by ringside. And he's chocking the life out of The Knick Man with the cord! SS: Knick Man turning as blue as that Knick Man Championship Jersey! CW: Shut up Samantha! Knick Man with the elbow to the groin of Awesome and LA dropping the microphone cord. KM grabbing Awesome and he Irish Whips him right into the steel railing. Lord Awesome hit that raling hard and your man is down Samantha! HA! SS: Oh brother! KM now stepping on Lord Awesome's neck with that size 14 Knick Man Championship Sneaker. And he stomps on the face of Awesome. A fan just hands Knick Man a cup of soda and Knick Man thrusts in right in the face of Lord Awesome! These men are suppose to be best friends! But it sure doesn't look that way now! CW: No friends when the World Title is at stake. And KM picking Lord Awesome up and he tries to ram his head into the steel railing. But Lord Awesome blocks it and he shoves Knick Man right into the railing. Lord Awesome grabbing The Knick Man now and they are brawling in the aisle on the way to the back. (Fade to Sensuous Samantha & Chris Wrigley.) SS: And Knick Man and Lord Awesome in the back. We have a camera in the back filming this wild brawl! And look at this! The ASW superstars are watching the fight! Oh My God! Knick Man just got a Philly Blunt from Phil Blunt and he stuck it right between the eyes of Lord Awesome! Phil Blunt is lighting the blunt now and The Knick Man puts it in Lord Awesome's mouth! Lord Awesome slaps Knick Man and spits the blunt out of his mouth! These guys are crazy! CW: Lord Awesome getting SMOKED OUT, if you will! SS: They are at an elevator now and Knick Man pushing the up botton. Lord Awesome taking Knick Man's head and smashing it against the elevator door. The door opens and Lord Awesome pushing Knick Man inside. Lord Awesome and the cameraman entering the elevator and the door shuts. Now Lord Awesome banging The Knick Man's head against the elevator buttons continuously! Lord Awesome setting Knick Man up and DDT INSIDE THE ELEVATOR! Now that was AWESOME! GOING UP! CW: Well, the elevator has arrived to the main lobby, and Lord Awesome dragging The Knick Man out of it. The fans are crowding around and watching these two warriors go at it. Lord Awesome picking Knick Man up, but The Knick Man with the thumb to the eye, and a THRUST KICK TO THE MIDSECTION of Awesome! Look at this! One of the fans just tossed Knick Man a Knick Man championship basketball and he's bouncing it ontop of Awesome's head! But Awesome with the kick to the knee of The Knick Man and KM falling down to the floor! SS: Lord Awesome picking Knick Man up and he sends him flying into the ASW merchandise stand. He grabs a Knick Man action figure and begins to beat Knick Man upside of the head with it. He then rips the head and the arms of the action figure off and slams it upside the head of The Knick Man! Lord Awesome now grabbing the replica ASW World Championship Belt and begins to beat The Knick Man continuously with it! Knick Man falling down and Lord Awesome lifting the belt up in the air! That's exactly what he's going to be doing after the match! CW: NOT! Lord Awesome now taking KM over to the concession stand. He grabs a jar of mustard and cracks it over the head of The Knick Man. The Knick Man slumps into the counter. Awesome trying to pick him up but NO! The Knick Man with a low blow and LA bends over in pain! Knick Man taking Awesome and RUNNING BULLDOG! YES!!! SS: Knick Man going over to the concession stand and ordering a Hot Dog? What is he doing? Knick Man taking the hot dog, and he's sitting down and eating it! The nerve! He should have ate his lunch before the match! Now he's ordering a soda! What's the matter with him? CW: Give the guy a break! Even the World's Greatest needs refreshments now and then! Besides, he has to have something to wash down the Hot Dog! Knick Man drinking the soda and now Lord Awesome is beginning to recover. Knick Man finishing up the soda and he walks over and kicks Lord Awesome in the ribs. KM picking him up and they are heading over to the stairs that the wrestlers use to go back to the lockerroom. Down the stairs they go, and wait a minute! Lord Awesome just shoved The Knick Man and KM goes tumbling all the way down the stairs right into the bottom door! SS: Lord Awesome finally reaching the bottom and he puts The Knick Man's head in the door and SLAMS THE DOOR! My God, I know that hurts! Knick Man falling to the floor. Lord Awesome stomping on him again! He picks him up and they are back in the lockerroom. Lord Awesome trys a suplex, but REVERSAL BY KNICK MAN! CW: And look! There goes Vivine Devine! She's HOT! Knick Man walking over and he's KISSING VIVINE DURING THE MATCH! And here comes Lord Awesome and he grabs The Knick Man away from Vivine and slams him right into a wall! Lord Awesome takes him and slams him into another wall! And now he's taking him down the aisle back to the ring area. SS: They are both in the ring now and Lord Awesome picking KM up and GERMAN SUPLEX! Awesome for the cover. ONE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO! Knick Man kicking out! Awesome now going to the ring apron. He's climbing up and he's at the top ropes! Lord Awesome off the top and NO! Knick Man moved out of the way! Knick Man is up now, and he picks Lord Awesome off the mat. A kick to the midsection, followed by a viscious chop to the chest of Awesome. Knick Man lifting him up and POWERBOMB! And Knick Man grabbing the legs and he slaps on the Figure-Four Leglock! The Figure Four is The Knick Man's Primary Submission Manuever. CW: And I have helped him finely tune it to the point where he will make Awesome beg for mercy! Awesome screaming out in pain and The Knick Man applying more pressure to the hold. But he has him too close to the ropes. He should have applied it in the center of the ring. Lord Awesome finally reaching the ropes but The Knick Man not letting go of the manuever! Referee warning KM, but WHO CARES! This is No Holds Barred! Knick Man finally lets go, and that extra few seconds is all we need Samantha! SS: Please! You act as if you're wrestling in that ring! Knick Man lifting his hands up in the air to the approval of this sold out crowd! He's going for the victory. Knick Man picking Awesome up off the mat. Another low blow, and Awesome bends over in pain. Knick Man grabs him and DDT to the mat! Knick Man with the cover..................... ONE................................. TWO................................ THREE! NO! Lord Awesome kicked out! He's the man! CW: Not for long! Knick Man lifting up Awesome and a Irish Whip to the buckle. Knick Man comes charging in and RUNNING FOREARM! We know what's coming up next! Knick Man hoisting Lord Awesome up on that top turnbuckle. He's going up to the top. Lord Awesome with a punch to the face of The Knick Man. Knick Man almost losing his footing but he's able to hold on. Knick Man now has Awesome and THE SLAM DUNK!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S GONNA WIN!!!!!! YEAH BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And here's the cover..................... ONE................................................... TWO................................................... THREE! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! LORD AWESOME KICKED OUT AT THE LAST SECOND! HE CAN'T DO THAT! NOBODY KICKS OUT OF THE SLAM DUNK! SS: Except for my man, Lord Awesome! Knick Man with a look of disbelief! Knick Man picking Awesome up and he sends him to the ropes. He comes back and DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE BY BOTH MEN! And they are out! CW: Referee counting........ one.......... two............ three....... four......... five...... Lord Awesome beginning to move....six..... seven.........Lord Awesome reaching the apron! eight.......... nine................and Lord Awesome is up! I cannot believe what I am seeing! This can't be happening! SS: Told you Lord Awesome was going to win! Awesome grabbing The Knick Man. He lifts him up and body slams him to the mat. Lord Awesome picking KM right back up. He lifts him up again and PILEDRIVER right in the center of the ring. Referee counts.....................one......................two Three! Nope! Knick Man able to kick out! CW: And Lord Awesome going to the outside. He just grabbed a chair and OH MY! Wacks it right across the back of The Knick Man! Awesome setting him up and SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Awesome still not finished! He lifts The Knick Man up and POWERBOMBS HIM right onto the mat. He hooks the leg..............one..................two..................... THREE! NO! Knick Man kicked out! I love this guy! SS: And Awesome is steaming mad now. He's sends The Knick Man to the ropes. Knick Man comes back. Lord Awesome catching him and AWESOME ANNHILIATOR! He caught The Knick Man out of nowhere! WHOOOO! NEW WORLD CHAMPION! HERE WE GO!!!!!!! ONE................................................. TWO................................................ THREE! YES!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEW WORLD CHAMPION!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KNICK MAN GOT THE RIGHT SHOULDER UP! HOW DID HE GET OUT? WHY DIDN'T AWESOME HOOK THE TIGHTS? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! CW: Well believe it baby! The Knick Man kicked out of the Awesome Annhiliator and now Lord Awesome is confused! Lord Awesome picking Knick Man off the mat and a chop to the chest by Awesome! Lord Awesome setting him up and BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX. Awesome with the cover! ONE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO! Knick Man kicked out again! Nobody can stop The Knick Man! SS: This is pissing me off! FINISH HIM AWESOME! Lord Awesome slamming his hand on the mat! Yeah, HERE WE GO! Lord Awesome lifting The Knick Man up and he shoves him into the corner. Lord Awesome now going over and he grabs the chair! He's going to crack The Knick Man's skull open! And here comes Lord Awesome and NO!!!!!!!!!! Knick Man with the kick to the groin and Lord Awesome drops the chair! Knick Man sets him up and A STUNNER RIGHT ON TOP OF THE CHAIR! I didn't know he knew that move! CW: That's not a stunner Samantha! THAT'S THE WIDOWMAKER! HA HA HA! Knick Man hooks the leg.............. ONE..................................................... TWO.................................................... THREE! KNICK MAN WINS!!!!!!!!!!!! KNICK MAN WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KNICK MAN BEATS LORD AWESOME!!!!! SS: NO! NO! NO! WHAT AN IDIOT! GOD HE PISSES ME OFF! [The winner of this match, in a time of 22:09, and NEW AWESOME SIMULATION WRESTLING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, THE ONE, THE ONLY, THE KNICK MAN!] CW: And Knick Man winning back what was rightfully his to begin with! What he truly never lost! The ASW World Heavyweight Championship! I'm going to celebrate! SS: And Chris Wrigley has just left the broadcasting booth! I can't believe Lord Awesome! He makes me sick! After all I've done for him, for him to go and blow a chance to become The World Champion! Must I do EVERYTHING? GEEZ!! And Chris Wrigley in the ring now and he's huging The Knick Man as Knick Man lifts the ASW World Championship up in the air. And look in the back. There is Hades! And he does not look happy! Hey, if my worst enemy just won the title using my finisher, I wouldn't be happy either! Well, that's all for this evening! For Chris Wrigley, I'm Sensuous Samantha saying good night everyone! (Fade to Wrigley and Knick Man standing in the ring celebrating and Hades looking on to the ASW World Champion. BLACK.) Thanks for viewing!