In a cool, clear ocean, there lived a group of Dungenous crabs that always
stayed together. Among these crustaceans was a crab that considered himself
better than the others. His name was Lilypoop. Lilypoop thought the other
crabs were just a bit too boring, never wanting to venture beyond the realm of
their community. One morning, Lilypoop decided that he was not going to spend
the rest of his life, day after day, staring at the same old barnacles. He
casually swam to the left, then swam to the right. All of a sudden, without
hesitation, he darted off into the vast blue waters. Lilypoop swam for hours,
frolicking as he went. He was so excited. Along his way, he met a very large
lobster. The lobster wanted nothing to do with the crab. Lilypoop called him a
loser. The lobster chased Lilypoop out of his territory. Soon he met a
seahorse. Lilypoop was infatuated. She was beautiful. He scuttled up to her
and asked,
"Hey there, baby. What's your name?"
The seahorse ignored him. He was a bit upset. He approached her again and
said,
"Hey lovechop. Wanna do the crazy with a hot stud in a hard shell?"
The seahorse stopped. Looking him straight in the eye, she spewed a stream of
water into his face. Now he was pissed. He clamped his claw around her neck
and squeezed. Her head popped off.
"Oh, wow," Lilypoop muttered.
He hadn't meant to do that. Gently grasping her head in one claw and her body
in the other, he swam off to find a hiding place. There was a large crevice
between two rocks that he ducked into. Quickly looking around, he found a
strand of seaweed. He wrapped the seaweed around the neck of the seahorse in a
lame attempt to reattach her head to her body. Then, he wrapped another piece
around her tail and the other end around a rock on the ocean floor. She
floated there like a balloon, with her severed, wrapped head dangling slightly
at an angle. He looked into her eyes and whispered softly,
"There now, my little angel. You're as good as new. Now we can spend the rest
of our lives together in this little love nest."
That's when a small wave flowed through the love nest and the seahorse's head
detached and floated away.