"Don't Be this way" by Colin

Alas, who am I in life?
What do I want?
Is there anything left for me?
Parents dead, family long since gone away to a better place.
A better place I shall never acheive.
A place not deserving of me.
Friends, I have none.
No one cares about me.
Come sweet escape.
Enter my heart, full of bitter blood.
Drink up. Drink up. Drink up my life.
Enjoy your final meal.
For now there is nothing...
Nothing left of me and nothiing left of you.

Critiques:

-I don't think you can achieve a place.
-Good continual metaphors: eating, sweet, bitter, drinking.
-Please, don't open a poem with "Alas." It flattens everything, a cliche supreme. I understand the intent, but push for an image, push for something striking. There are some strong images here, and the previous critique is correct about the progression of imagery in the last few lines. I would, however, prefer you show me, rather than tell me, about despair. It's a human condition, prevalent these days; what imagery can better capture it? With some work, this can be powerful, but currently strikes me as a tad self-indulgent.

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