Lady Wolfette knows that you gentlemen are having a difficult time understanding the lady in your life.

In an effort to help you travel smoothly along the path of your life, the Lady Wolfette has found something she thinks may help you.

In the world of romance, one single rule applies:

MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY !

Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. Here is a guide to the point system:


SIMPLE DUTIES


You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets while she is still asleep, between those rumpled sheets (-100)





You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You leave the toilet seat down, and it "mysteriously" gets wet (-150)
You leave the toilet seat down, it gets "mysteriously" wet, AND you blame the dog for drinking out of the toilet (-400)
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty (0)
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
You take the kleenex from her bedside table (-30)
When the Kleenex runs out, you use the next bathroom (-2)

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
In the snow (+8)
But return with beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with a 6-iron (+10)
It's her pet (-10)


SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS


You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy (-2)
Named Tiffany (-24)
Tiffany is a dancer (-26)
Tiffany has implants (-180)
YOU paid for the implants (-3000)


HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team (-10)


A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS


Go with a pal (-5)
The pal is happily married (-4)
Or frighteningly single (-7)
And he drives a Mustang (-10)
With a personalised license plate (GR8 N BED) (-15)
The "Pal" is female (-400)



A NIGHT OUT


You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called Deathcop 3 (-3)
Which features cyborgs that eat humans (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)


YOUR PHYSIQUE


You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You cover it up with baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)


THE BIG QUESTION


She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-1) (you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)


COMMUNICATION


(When she wants to talk about a problem)
You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
For over 30 minutes (+50)
Without looking at the TV (+1000)
She realises this is because you have fallen asleep (-2000)