These are from fellow Vastards & Vitches from the message board. Enjoy!

You actually consider calling MTV's live line (1-888-311-4343) during TRL and ask them to play VAST.

You decide to form a band that only does VAST cover songs.

You dream about VAST (hey, I know I'm not the only guilty one here!)

You drive more than 2 hours to see a VAST concert...and would do it again.

You celebrate all of the band members' birthdays.

You scream, squeal, and jump up and down whenever VAST is played on the radio, even though you own their CDs.

You are a guy and you do the above.

You jump into swamps looking for Jon Crosby (see "Free" video).

You suffer from VAST withdrawals when you can't listen to their CDs.

You actually cry when you crack one of the jewel cases from your VAST CDs (I'm guilty of this one too).

You have a whole debate about the lyrical meaning of "Dirty Hole."

You plan to see the "Tomb Raider" movie because there is a VAST song in it.

You don't even care that you don't get paid to pass stuff out for thestreet team. (I've had people ask me why I promote VAST even though I don't get paid. I tell them, "Haven't you ever listened to one of their CDs?")


When you go thrift store shopping + keep thinking to yourself how neat-o certain shirts would look on jon crosby.

Your hair is more than two colors...

When the "Thong Song" comes on and you're singing, "Let me see that Jon..... Jon, Jon, Jon, Jon, Jon...

You change everyone's Wallpaper on their computers to the Vast logo...

You meet somebody named Jon, & you ask how they spell it. Is it with an h or not?

You get your mom hooked on Vast! (Cool MOM )

You listen to Vast interviews so much you start talking with an Aussie accent. *Mate* Or an American accent!

You're at Walmart and Rickie Martin is playing and you start singing Shake your Jon Jon, Shake your Jon Jon....*giggles* lol

You meet Vast and then you believe in love at first sight.

When you meet Jon and his hair is blowing and the song "Dream Weaver" is playing in the back ground. (You know the scene in "Wayne's World." Hey it really happened, it did!) Only, I didn't fall down:)

Your boss gives you luggage for Christmas because he knows you're going to more shows. (Hey, that really happened too!)

You're checking flight schedules for shows more than 10 hour drive, and kissing up to realitives for a place to crash.

You're already making up excuses to get off of work, but your boss already knows where you're going 'cus he bought your luggage! lol

You're already ordering clothes for the next tour while your looking at clothes that'll look hot on Jon!

You start playing computer golf hoping for a duel with Justin.

You call yourself a Vitch if your a female and Vastard if you're a male

When you write everything in the Vast font!

From Lamia & Silk

you are on the interent 24/7 either, making sites dedicated to them, or looking for sites with them in it, and while doing so ticking your parents off, and your sisters are yelling at you at the top of their lungs go get off the internet so they can use the phone, but you won't and you tick everyone off... but hey your happy... you have your VAST!

You know you're obsessed when all your cuddly toys are named Jon, Justin, Steve or Thomas. I have Crosby the bear, Tom the green metallic monster and Jon the Loch Ness Monster.

Or you try to get the word VAST into all the essays you do. Two examples from my holiday essays:

He looks very small compared to the VAST sea in front of him and the building beside him, showing that compared to his country and the fascists (represented by the police building) , Marcello is practically nothing. In front of Hitler stands a VAST crowd of German people


when your being surveyed by a stranger and you say you're last name is crosby

I'm gonna call my dog Crosby.. when I do get one, oneday..

when, you check this message board like 15 times a day and read every single new post.

when the only cd you play is one of VAST's, for hours/days/weeks on end

playing Literati @ Yahoo, you get really excited when it gives you letters you can use to spell VAST, and even more excited when you can actually put it out on the board


When you feel you have to go 'cold turkey' from VAST and try not to listen to any VAST for a week ...and only last two days!!

When you buy a coat cos it's the same colour as Jon's jacket in the Free video !

When you practically live on the realvast message board !

~miss bee

When everyone you know assumes you're going to talk about them the minute you open your mouth

You know you're addicted to VAST when your sister says she saw the Free vid once in the pub and thought it was ok so you buy her both the albums for Christmas


You wake up singing "My TV and You."

You pump up your cd player in your car (that has VAST in it) just because someone is listening to N'sync or any other musician.

You are obsessed with the lyrics

When in wal-mart in the music section you put in a vast single and blast it.

You seem to get mad when someone turns the cd player off and your listening to VAST.

You have nothing but vast posters hanging up.

You were so dumbfounded upon meeting the band you didn't say much, other than "I'm from the sticks!" and other stupid lines.

That you have changed your desktop icons to VAST one's

~Teresa C

I missplaced my copy of Visual Audio Sensory Theater somewhere on my computer desk and I really needed a fix and I wept until I found it. That is horrible. I need to buy a new copy of V.A.S.T. because mine is almost loved to death and my brother thought that he could have my old copy when I get a new one, but I won't let him have it because it means too much to me.

you know its bad when you start to get superstitious..while I'm joggin I sometimes listen to VAST and I find myself going "okay if you step on that crack before he says____ then..." or "if you don't make it to that tree by the time the flute comes in then..."

When you are so happy to see so many people from EVERYWHERE who love VAST so much, and you want to share with them what they cant get

You preview all the Vast cds in Walmart when you know damn well they will only play for 30 seconds then start advertising for Britney Spears.

You start doing searches on Yahoo and AOL for people with "VAST" somewhere in their profile.

You spend more time on this message board then you do at work/school.

You name all your pets after the members of the band and hold massive 5-hour tea parties with them.....with NO TEA!!!

You start a website and try to find the most obscure VAST fact or song title to name it after.

You go out to the store and buy a bottle of 7-up just because Jon Crosby mentioned it once in an interview.

you sit in front of the tv for hours during one of the Real World marathons on MTV waiting for VAST to come on.

You try to make up your own lyrics for "Lady of Dreams"

You buy all the cds that Jon took his samples from and try to make your own song out of them. (guilty of this one)

You actually read all the stuff I just typed......


you play the albums over and over and get your 4 year old daughter to like them!

you are contemplating risking life and limb just to hold a band member's hand for a few seconds (I'm so short that I couldn't lean over the barracade to reach Jon's hand, but I was willing to risk cracking my skull open by climbing up on it and stretching for all I was worth! Hubby wouldn't let me... I think I scared him LOL)

you know every word to every song and get thrown off while singing along at a live show when they change little things!

you tell anyone and everyone who will listen for 2.5 seconds about the band, then offer to buy them one of the albums so they can listen to it!

your concert shirt is less than a month old and already threatening to fade because you've washed it so much!

you use lyrics from the songs as catchphrases or as code!


you create a whole topic about how you know when you're addicted to Vast
~Rainbow Brite

You and your friend argue over who has more pictures of Jon on their wall.( The boy is Mine!)

Your mom accuses you of being a(and I quote)"VAST teenibopper"!( How Dare she!!)

You have perfected drawing the Vast logo by drawing it on every single one of your book covers at school.(It's only half an S!)

When listening to either of the CDs, your friends ask you what you're listening to and when you say "Jon" they know you're talking about VAST.(Insert strange giggle here)

You attempt to plot a kiddnapping scheme to get to a concert when your mom won't let you go 'cause it's a school night.(Don't think I wouldn't!)

You screamed when you saw Music For People on the shelf for the first time 'cause you didn't know VAST made a second album...(I did this, and, um, scared everyone in Record Town...)

You force all of your friends and favorite teachers to listen to MFP until they either buy it or kill you.(I'm still alive,must be a good sign..)

Here's one! You are shopping with your mom and you come upon the Build-A-Bear Workshop in the mall. You go in and see that you can make a monkey. you, being an extremely strange person, make a monkey and name it (what else!) Jon! :P Now your mom calls it "Jon-key" (you say that fast and it sounds like junky) and your friend Yllom calls it your love monkey. Oh yeah, and you buy a little guitar to go with it....

You name all your Pokemon in the game Jon or Crosby or Jon Crosby...


We just love this band so much that we live, eat, breathe, and proclaim VAST!!!

when you print anything off the internet related to VAST: pictures, interviews, CD reviews, show reviews... Even more pathetic...I put them all into a binder in their own categories.

When you got to 5 shows in 4 months! Guilty!

You have your locker at work or school filled with Jon pics!

When you play video games and sign out VASTARD, MIZVITCH, or VASTFAN on the high scores!

~(Me) Lamia Again!

When you burn a copy of both cds for your car and only for your car, that way you wont risk loosing the original should you car do one of the following:crash and get totaled beyond recognition and kill the cd player with vast in it, catch on fire, melting vast , get broken into and/or stolen with Vast in the cd player, or should the cd player just decide it likes vast sooo much that it wants to eat it all up on ya.

you also know youve reached obsesession when you look at the back of MFP and look at your bf and see the strong resemblence between him and Jon *sigh*, and your mother agrees too (and yes this is actually true, he really does look like Jon).

~ ~SpiralFlames

You make one of those little paper chain thingies that you used to in elementary school to count down the days until the concert date of which you will have to drive over 2 hours to see.
~ Clutch165

when you buy "visual audio sensory theater" ....for the second time...

when you are standing in the middle of Target with your jaw on the floor and nothing is coming out of your mouth but air as the "Free" video plays on the Target Video Network. *smile*

When you dream about Vast more than once a week.

You speak to your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/mom/dad/whoever in VAST lyrics... ...and they speak back in VAST lyrics. =)

Your signifigant other accuses you of dropping him/her in a split second for Jon Crosby (or any other member of the band)..... and you would!

You know you are addicted to VAST when you start to sing the harmonies to VAST songs, so you can hear how your voice sounds along with Jon's. In case you ever have to sing with them.

Or... when you seriously consider selling clothes or other personal belongings so you can buy a guitar like Jon's. Even though you don't play the guitar.

Or...when you put bands or people down and your friends/boyfriend starts saying "Yeah, well I know they're NO Jon Crosby!!" or "Not everyone can be like Jon Crosby!"

You know you are obsessed with VAST when your roommate threatens to go into Musicland to steal the VAST poster so you can stop going in the store just to see Jon's giant face again, and again, and again!!

You're know you're addicted to VAST when you slammed your foot against the edge of your desk,dancing like Jon,while listening to "Free,and effectively break your pinky toe"
~Space Kitty