Ride on the right...Pass on the Left.   
 
Thursday is the much-ballyhooed "final" episode of Seinfeld, the  Sein-off.

Well..."Good riddance!" I mean, like, we haven't had enough of Jerry and his neurotic pals already? I think if I listen to Elaine whine one more time, I am going to spit!

Sure, this show about nothing has been very appealing for years. It reminds us about ourselves and our own neurotic, pathetic lives. There's a little of Jerry, Kramer, George and Elaine in all of us. But, don't you think the script has gotten just a little, well, stale? OK, the famous "Backwards" episode was very innovative and clever. I'm sure it will win major kudos. But, face it, fans, the writers have just run out of new ideas. They are, uh...boring. And, the recent "Puerto Rican Day Parade" show was offensive to many. Jerry himself admits "we can be insensitive."

So, it's time for Jerry and his buds to fade off into the sunset. Disappear into TV rerunland. Do the obligatory talk shows and interviews, consult their investment advisors for new tax shelters, and move on to a new project. Maybe retirement. Maybe they should do a cameo on  Ally McBeal.

I guess we in America are good at ignoring signs. We always seem to have an excuse. "I'm in a rush or I'm really late for a meeting" count for a lot in good old U.S.A. We ignore the signposts. Does anyone really "stop" at that red octagon? We usually do the "slow cruise" through it. Yellow traffic signals? What are those for? "One at a time, please." Right. And how about "Slow, School Crossing Ahead?" My favorite is the moving sidewalks at the airport or the gazillions of escalators in our subways and office buildings. They all have signs that say "ride on the right, pass on the left." In Atlanta's and Chicago's airports, there are even pleasant digitally recorded voices cajolling us, urging us to take it easy. But do we listen? Do we heed the signs?

Of course not. We are oblivious to the signs. Just like we ignored the signs about Jerry and the Seinfeld pals. We refused to listen. We had a convenient excuse. "It's entertainment." "Look at the ratings." "It sells." In the moving stairs business, we no longer heed the good old days when people got on an escalator and actually rode it. Instead we barrel down the thing like our pants are on fire. Trampling the 80-year old senior hanging gingerly onto the rail. And those moving sidewalks? Forget it. No one actually stands on those things. So, if you are a mother with a baby stroller, dragging junior with one hand, a diaper bag and a carry-on slung over your shoulder, watch out! The little tyke is in for the ride of his life - and I don't mean on the airplane.

Jerry and his buds got old - but we ignored the signs. Think about that the next time you start rushing down that escalator.

© copyright 1998 Morton H. Levitt