We're all familiar with insurance. There's car insurance, homeowner's insurance, renter's insurance, and mortgage insurance, to name just a few. The concept is simple. Pay a little each year and guard yourself against a future disaster. Like if the Roto-Rooter man gets sucked down your toilet. It's covered. Or you sideswipe a cop on Route 29 and take out the punk rocker crossing the street. It's covered. Or say your cat, attempting to catapault to your mantle, smashes that irreplacable crystal vase on the way up. It's covered. Right?

Well, of course, there's that deductible thing. It's a little like Russian roulette. Except in this case there's a bullet in every chamber. And then there's that nasty little practice of raising your rates whenever you have a claim. Or get a ticket. Like last summer my wife "grazed" a car on the Beltway. The damage: $175. Our renewal increase: $1032 in higher premiums!!! Sounds fair. Nothing like a 600% profit!!!

I wish I owned a business like that. Have an unanticipated expense? Suffer a loss? No problem. The state allows you to recover everything you paid out and then rack up a whopping profit. Sounds like a great deal to me. How come I can't get myself some of that action?

Take personal property insurance. I have my whole house and all its contents insured for about $300 a year. That's for a two-story brick colonial house in Montgomery County and a whole lot of contents. Now I ask the company to insure my new digital camcorder (a sleek Canon XL-1 so my wife and I can shoot digital videos for CynMor Video). The cost for this one item? Three hundred dollars a year. What? Wait a minute - there's something wrong here. I can cover more than $200,000 worth of house and contents for $300, but it's going to cost me the same $300 to cover my camcorder? Somebody's running all the way to the bank here and it's not me.

So I called the company's 24-hour Customer Service line, and after wading through the number maze, being accosted by ads for flood insurance, and listening to some awful polka music, Angela answered: "Policy number, please. Telephone number. Mother's maiden name. Zip code. How can I help you?"

"How come it costs so much to cover my company's digital camcorder?"

"Well, you might drop it on someone's toe and we'll have to pay out all those medical payments."

"More than my car insurance policy? That covers $50,000 in medical payments. Are you afraid my camera is more unsafe than a Volvo at 60 mph?"

"You can't compare a car and a camera."

"I know, but you still haven't explained why it costs more to cover the camera."

Well, you could lower your premium by opting for a larger deductible. If you go with a $1000 deductible, it will only cost you $250."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Well, not really. What if you shoot a lousy video and the subject sues you for errors of omission."

"Errors of omission? What the hell is that? Do you mean I accidentally cut off his head and catch Monica coming out the door of Morton's Steakhouse instead?"

"Something like that. Suppose your video is factually inaccurate?

"Are you serious? What if I am just shooting videos for fun?"

"Well, you didn't say that. We only offer business owner's insurance. If your videography is just a hobby, we don't insure your camera away from the home."

"What do you mean you don't insure it?

"Your homeowner's policy doesn't cover video cameras for liability or use away from the house."

"Cover my camera for liabilty? Are you afraid the tape is going to jump out and wrap itself around my neighbor's neck?"

"We could cover the camera under a scheduled property endorsement. But that would only cover it for use at home."

"Really? How much would that cost?"

"Twenty-four dollars."

"What! Twenty four dollars versus $300!? I don't understand!! Why the difference???"

"If you use it for business, we have to cover the liability part. Your camera could inflict property damage or personal injury. And then there's those errors of omission. Not to mention when you take it on the road."

"But what difference does it make whether I'm filming for fun or profit?"

"That's the way our underwriter writes the policies."

"Just for grins, what if I had $100,000 of camera equipment in the business instead of a few thousand? How much would that cost me?"

"Three hundred dollars. That's our minimum business owner's premium."